Thursday, January 3, 2008


i did something i have never done in my entire life.
i bought 1/8th of a cow.

you read right.

i bought 1/8th of an actual cow to put into my deep freeze and keep us in burgers for, well, a long ass time.

why, you may ask, did i buy such a thing and what exactly would an 1/8th of a cow look like in a deep freeze?

well, it's been butchered, so it's not like i've got hooves sticking up or something and i need to name it then not be able to cook it cuz i named it. and it's not as if it was walking around the pasture with my name stamped on it's ass reserving my space.

see, there's this lady who works where i work and who, during the spring time and summer warmth, has eggs for sale. so i buy her eggs, because they're natural and damn near organic and i'm all about that shit. really...

and fighting against greenhouse gasses and global warming; pursuing the art of baking my own bread and making my own jams; wishing i had the land to grow my own food and hoping someday i will be so lucky while still believing that by eating right and exercising, i could actually be in good enough shape that i will, one day, wear a bikini without fear... at age 45+ (yeah, i know, you may say i'm a dreamer, but, just for the record? i'm not the only one.)

but i, once again, digress...

she also sells an entire butchered cow from her farm once a year as well and this year i got in on it. now, the prospect of buying even 1/4 of a butchered cow had me kinda freaked for my first time, so i started small, sharing my 1/4 with my friend, lisa (who's also all about holistic, natural shit -- she's learning to be an herbalist, which i think is cooler than words can say). i gathered up brandon to go with me to the butcher to pick up this load o' meat and stared at it in slight awe when i got it back to the car. we both did. it was quite amusing.

oh, you get a lot of ground beef, to be sure, but there are KC strip steaks in there, a brisket, some top sirloin, some roast and on. it's plenty and just right. i do, after all, have two bordering on teen sons who are active in sports, massive humans (11 and 12, five foot six and five foot seven last time i checked and growing) and since i'm on this big "i will cook EVERY SINGLE NIGHT" kick, it certainly helps to have, well, something to cook besides pasta, rice, beans and toast.

brandon does not like meat loaf, no matter how many ways i make it. ah, hell, i hated meat loaf as a kid, too, so whatever. he also does not really like meatballs, lasagna (too much stuff inside), casseroles (again, too much stuff) or meat sauce. upon receiving the large order of meat, as we gazed upon its splendor, these words came out of my mouth --

"brandon, we're gonna have to find a recipe for all that ground beef that works for you, man, beyond burgers, chili, tacos and sloppy joes. you're gonna have to learn to like some meat loaf, dude."

to which he responded with a glassy eyed nod, "i know, mom. whoa, do i know."

watch out, moussaka.
here we come, shepherd's pie.
glad to meetcha, samosas.
couldn't be happier to see ya, jamaican meat pie.
you're goin' down, meat loaf.

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