The Magical Culinary Tour

Julie & Julia and Return to Blogging

2009-08-16T19:25:00.002-05:00

when i was a little girl, i could always make my mom laugh by doing Julia Child impersonations. "Heh-LOW! Too-day we'll be making a roast lamb in a gingery yogurt sauce. First, let's pour some WINE, shall we... (sips) and look at our WONdur-full leg of lamb... another sip... MARveLOUS..." and on. i was 7 the first time i made these little asides to her and she laughed from the first moment. it was our time, watching julia cooking. her and graham kerr, the galloping gourmet (who was one of my first imaginary boyfriends... walter cronkite was my real first) made my adventures in the kitchen not scary at all. i was diving into our pantry by the age of 5 and full on cooking soon after, with my mother's blessing. not well, mind you, but with heart.

i read julie & juila. i liked it. but more than that, i liked the film. it changed my life, i suppose. way back when, thelma & louise came out and made me more assertive. i saw it first with my father, who had won an award for Male Chauvenist Pig of the Year back in , i dunno, '75 or something? anyway, he was proud of that award, 'cuz he really wasn't and it was the era of faux kudoes of the highest order. he went with me to see the film and had reached a point in his life when he had given up his anger and ire. but he was adamant about every woman in his life seeing thelma & louise. he thought it was a vital rite of passage regardless of age. fascinating man, really.

well, that's what i felt about julie & julia, which is also what happened to me when i saw big night--interesting that stanley tucci is in both (love that man... omg...). hmm... and, so, i embark upon a culinary journey to save my soul. i'm at a crossroads in my life, you see. pretty deep. to the point that i don't know what i'm doing going to work much anymore, because i believe my joi de vivre is at an all time low and i can't abide that, truly.

so i picked up my copy of MASTERING THE ART OF FRENCH COOKING, volume 1--yes, julia and simone (simca) beck did two volumes after the first was printed and i have both... HA! and read the foreword. and here is what made me know that cooking is what my heart desires (along with writing): "Cooking is not a particularly difficult art, and the more you cook and learn about cooking, the more sense it makes. But like any art, it require practice and experience. The most important ingredient you can bring to it is love of cooking for its own sake." did you read that? i find cooking to be one of the most extraordinary gifts around. it soothes me, makes me feel alive and gives me an incredible feelin of accomplishment. i know i'm a pretty good cook, so i indulge my fantasies in the culinary world extensively. what i feel is that cooking, true cooking, takes patience and, above all, adoration for the craft itself.

is that overboard? not for me. i've seen the film twice and what it's done for me is make me willing to take chances i never really would. hard to believe i wouldn't take chances in cooking, i know, but it's true. i've never barbecued properly. oh, i've grilled my ass off, trust me, but my mother actually barbecued ribs, beautifully, i might add, and i never had. until yesterday. i slow smoked a pork butt (HA! pork butt makes me laugh every time) and it was masterful. creating the dry rub, making my own sauce with a fantastic secret ingredient... it was heaven. i like that, look forward to it and revel in it.

cooking. what a wonder. i wish it was all there was, but it's not, is it? and, i suppose, in the long run, that's okay, too.

one of my fave movies of all time is RATATOUILLE. quite extraordinary, personally. and what caught my eye when i was reading through Julia Child, Simone Beck and Louisette Berthole's MASTERING THE ART OF FRENCH COOKING was this: "Anyone can cook in the French manner anywhere, with the right instruction. Our hope is that this book will be helpful in giving that instruction." if you've seen the film, RATATOUILLE, you'll recognize those first 3 words and that's where they came from.

anyone can cook. with a little heart and an open mind, anyone. that's comforting to me.

Looking For Bliss

2009-05-26T20:31:00.004-05:00

and so i sit here, in the dark of the living room, listening to sounds in the next room, wondering what has happened to the day. it moves fast, goes away before i know it and, lately, i don't even know how it got away from me without me noticing. i've lost a little bit of focus these days. oh, not in ways people would probably notice. i get my work done--whatever that is anymore--i still cook for my kids like wild and i track in my conversations, but i'm not really there. not anymore, not lately. i don't really care to share of myself in anyway beyond the rudimentary. i'm happy even grateful to hear about others, what's going on in their lives, how they're doing, even to the point of being willing to help someone else with a burden that may be on their mind. i have no wish to share any of mine. none at all.

and so, i cook, as i'm wont to do when i'm feeling like this. i cook, i bake, i make so i can escape. it is my greatest escape, for sure, even more so than the writing. interesting that. the writing feeds my soul, the cooking feeds everything. and there are times when i'm writing that the words i am putting on the page are so intense, i need to distance myself from them. i look back and read things i've written sometimes and wonder who the hell wrote it. i don't recall being so enlightened, in touch, or exceedingly dense.

the dinners i have begun to make go from incredibly elaborate to immensely simple--i'm the queen of defrosting boneless chicken breasts or thighs, seasoning them, sauteeing them then blanketing them in some sort of yummy toppings and putting them between two pieces of bread--for the kids, not me. i don't do sandwiches too often (bread, much as i love it, just lays in my old stomach way to hard). i've also seared scallops in a lime olive oil infusion and served them over homemade spaghetti topped with lime zest. i think my kids view all of this as a matter of course while scratching their heads at my weirdness.

i don't have a bathtub, so i can't take a good long soak and standing in a hot shower for more than 3 minutes is WAAAYYY beyond my pay grade. reading takes me away and i appreciate it as does walking my beloved pooch and holding the bunnies. but it's the cooking that makes me feel that i can build something that makes a difference. the cooking that gives me a sense of purpose.

blogs are funny little creatures, aren't they? you never know who's watching/reading, do you? so one must be a little more conscience of just what they share and about what. as much as i'd like to rant away, just can't seem to do it too deeply, and yet, i need to share this so you know--whoever you are. i need someone to know that today, well, it feels like it will end too soon and i will have to go and face a world i've begun to view as a place i don't belong. oh, don't get your panties in a bunch. i don't mean "oh, life... how can i go on?" i know how i can go on which is why i do and always will. no, i mean the world in which i currently maneuver. the environment, if you will. i'm not too sure about it. not anymore, if i ever was. i don't know what my place is in it and that, alone, has me wondering if i can continue feeling this way without losing my mind.

and, all the while, i keep cooking, creating with food, pouring my emotions into the pot, like that book MEAN SOUP does with the little boy, or the films i love that deal with food and passion.

ah, well--i'll leave you with this, at the top, a picture of the Morris children then and here one of us now. food figured prominently our whole lives. my mother was a vibrant, passionate hostess and in celebrating my brother's most recent birthday, food was a gift i could give him that came from my heart. it is the way i show my children how much i truly, absolutely and will always love them, even when my brain is fried, my heart is breaking and i don't know if i can take another, "oh-KAY, mom..." (add huffy sigh and pounding feet). they are my loves.

i never forget that.

And So It Begins...

2009-01-10T13:16:00.000-06:00

we are in the new year and i'm feeling a sense of wonder and a little under the weather -- a weird cold has taken ahold of me, which is rather inconvenient, thank you very much, but whatever. but, beyond the cold, i feel like i want to purge everything from my house except for the essentials -- which, of course, would include my cookbooks, as you know -- and take my sons, our dog, our two bunnies and a couple of suitcases total, move to a communal farm somewhere, offer to be a slave in their kitchen and in the fields, home school my children and learn how to sew fabulous frocks for the masses. i sucked in home ec for the simple reason that sewing just wasn't my bag, which is kinda funny considering i enjoy knitting and cooking. i like doing crafty type of things, but as much as i have patience in the kitchen, i do not, for some reason, have patience with building stuff. i want it DONE, DAMMIT! however, i am learning patience, because it is my belief that if i want a cool chair in my basement or a great daybed, i'm going to have to make it myself right now. or, barring that, comb the curbs of america, find a nice enough or visionary discarded piece of furniture and remake it. hey, i have a large enough car, i could fit just about anything in there.

the point is my need to be one with the land, with simpler things, self sufficient beyond financial and into practical. my delightfully fabulous friend, stacey, is going to give me one of her sewing machines and show me how to use it. i worship stacey. oh, not just because of that. because she and her husband, gill, are two of the most genuine, warm and accessible people i've ever met. when i say accessible, i mean that they are available in an open way. i can talk to them about anything, we can disagree, then laugh about it and know we're adults and that's what adults do -- be individual, who they are and respect who the other person is without having to change them. isn't that great? gill and stacey are so respectful of personal choice that they appreciate it, even if they don't agree with it. or at least that's my sense of them. i mean, stacey's outspoken, but in such a well positioned way as to make me understand what being positively outspoken means. and her laugh is so infectious, i want to bottle it. and gill has a gentle quietness that hides a deep and brilliant mind and a huge heart. yeah, i'm gushing. it's a new year and i feel like gushing is necessary, because, too often, people don't know how much you like or appreciate them and this particular blog is in honor of my friends i truly appreciate here in the midwest. i could list them all, but i'm sure i'd forget someone, and i don't want to do that, so, instead, i would like to posit a dinner i would like to prepare for them, even if only in my mind, to thank them for being the kind of people who have made my time here not so lonely.

first of all, i would start with something amazing, tantalizing and meant to tempt tastebuds without filling stomachs. a lovely morsel -- perhaps a perfectly grilled fig with a dusting of pistachios and a good chevre melted over it. maybe some bruschetta topped with chopped grilled shrimp, tomatoes and feta. ah... the possibilities are endless. let me show you my thoughts:

first course:
Antipasti -- Grilled Polenta with Soft Cheeses and Grilled Marinated Vegetables

second course:
Stracciatella Soup

third course:
Spinach Salad with Roasted Pine Nuts, Garlic Crouton and a Drizzling of Good Olive Oil and Balsamic

palate cleanser:
Merlot Sorbet with mint

pasta course:
Orecchiete in a Sage Butter Sauce

main course:
Whole Herb and Salt EnCrusted Salmon w/a Citrus Beur Blanc Sauce
w/garlic and herb steamed baby new potatoes
roasted broccoli w/lemon zest and parmesan

seventh course:
biscotti with pears and oranges

dessert course:
Ricotta Cake with pinenuts and candied orange peel

all of these courses would have wine pairings, lots of conversation, and love. and i would prepare all of this in my magically transformed to football stadium size kitchen to be served in my exquisitely spacious dining room with the finest china, flatwear, and crystal. and we would laugh, have fun, eat and enjoy each other's company.

that's what i would love to do for my friends. and, in time, i hope i can. it would be fun to make something like this for my pals. i love doing it, the art of doing it, the feeling of putting my heart into the food to show people how much i care. even the mundane day to day cooking i do with and for my sons is full of feeling, which is why i love cooking so much. it's never really a chore for me, just because i feel so good about WHY i'm doing it, even when i'm cranky. and don't misunderstand me. i cook EVERY SINGLE DAY for practical reasons. i'm not making sauce reductions, frenching lamb chops or souffleeing eggs daily. nope, i'm making sandwiches for lunches (or heating leftovers), steaming vats of rice to have on hand, roasting chickens (and boiling them for stock), making quicky salads or cutting up fruit to go with dinners, and on and on. so, it's not glamorous, food network kind of work in the kitchen over here, although, sometimes (well, often), i do things like that to keep everything fresh for myself. but, even that, brings a smile to me. the little things -- turning a grilled cheese sandwich into something more so that my sons know what grilled cheese sandwiches can be beyond just a slice or two of processed or whatever cheese on some buttered bread, fried up in a pan and placed on a plate beside some canned tomato soup -- which is, in my opinion, one of the greatest comfort duos in the history of comfort duos (the other, for me, is won ton soup and a plate of dim sum, but that's me). they serve it at my sons' schools for lunch. the bigger reason that i "kick it up a notch" with simple things like grilled cheese and tuna melts, is because of how i love my sons and cooking in general. i want it to be special for them. i want them to know how much they mean to me through the cooking. this sense of taking something simple and making it more began for me when i had my first grilled cheese sandwich at a now extinct restaurant in los angeles called Cafe Figaro at the beverly hills end of melrose. if you know l.a. at all, it was where melrose runs into doheny drive and was where i spent many a night in high school. to say their food was amazing would probably be an overstatement, i suppose, but my memory of it is that it was, well, amazing.

they were a homey french bistro-y, european-y, healthy-y type of deal with lacquered wood tables and wood floors, dark in the evening, bright in the day -- funky cool and completely great. it was a rehash of the famed Cafe Figaro in Greenwich Village, on Bleeker and MacDougal Streets (just read how they closed that one in 2008, which is so sad). i loved them because they had my favorite pasta -- Linguine and White Clam Sauce -- which was my almost standard dinner when we'd go there (my friend, caryl, still likes to tease me about it, which brings a smile to my face all the time, just at the memory of that creamy, clam-filled sauce and perfectly cooked pasta -- one night, i ordered it and they came back and told me they only had the red sauce that night and i sulked all night long, eating nothing and drinking lots of wine -- which was another reason we liked going there, they never seemed to card us... wonderful). all of their ingredients were super fresh. they also had the best spinach on the planet -- sauteed with onions, topped with some good swiss cheese then served in a little crock kinda thing. oh, man. they had stuffed zucchini that was to die for -- first time i ever had it was there -- amazing whole wheat bread, great steak fries, and the best grilled cheese and tuna melts ever. it was my induction into a whole new world of possibility and from that moment on, i felt like i could never make a grilled cheese sandwich the same way ever again. no more just one cheese for me. it had to be more and with more going on.

now, just to be clear, i also went through a whole period of going to Nibblers, another high school l.a. hangout, and notoriously ordering their tuna melt, a slice of grilled ham, french fries with mayo, a coffee and putting the ham on the tuna melt and dipping my fries in the mayo -- which i still do. love it. and i can down a whole plate of Hamburger Hamlet fried chicken wings like i'm a man who has been starving in the desert for a year (my friend, brooks, calls my obsession with chicken wings my guilty food pleasure, just as i call his devotion to Sizzlers insanity -- so, essentially, we're even). i also believe in the power of the Fatburger Double King Chili Cheese Burger with Bacon and Egg (although i couldn't finish one or even make a dent to save my life, but i believe in its power and won a free movie ticket out of eating the Double King Chili Cheese Burger sans egg and bacon on a bet from the owner's son-in-law when i was 13 and, subsequently, got sick, much to my brother's delight), the deliciousness of a Jacopo's Sausage, Peperoni and Mushroom Pizza with Extra Cheese, a Carnegie Deli Pastrami and Swiss on Rye with Brown Mustard, a Nate 'n Al's Turkey, Pastrami, Swiss, Cole Slaw and Russian Dressing on Marble Rye (or Pumpernickel), Lox and Bagels with Capers and Tomatoes, also from Nate 'n Al's, and a DB Levi's chocolate chip cheesecake with a scoop of haagen das ice cream on it. Ah, childhood memories of food i haven't eaten since, well, so many years, i can't remember -- DB Levi's doesn't even exist anymore, but when it did, oh, man, it was awesome.

but, i've totally digressed and i'm sorry. i went down a path of food memory lane and i didn't mean to. it's the new year, ya know? the thought of dumping all of the old -- and i've got years of old to dump over here -- so i can make room for the new in a way i've never done before. it's a soul purge as much as a house cleaning. and it's bringing up things in me that are, at turns, exciting, sad, deliriously happy, and unbearably bitter. but that's good, in the long run. it makes me know i'm alive.

so, i'd like to leave you, today, with my memories and how i have turned them to working for us in our day to day over here. what i learned about grilled cheese sandwiches, i learned from Cafe Figaro (or Cafe Fig, if you were hanging there during that era). "hey, let's meet over at Cafe Fig in 20!" "tote!" (ex.: tot-ally)

GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH A LA LINDA VIA CAFE FIGARO
ingredients:
2 large slices of your favorite bread -- we use home baked wheat, white, ciabatta, italian bread, crusts cut off, if you wish, but if you're using ciabatta, just keep them on. also make sure the bread you use is a fairly thick slice, not sandwich bread slice
good olive oil
fresh marinara sauce
2 slices fresh mozzarella
2 slices sharp cheddar cheese
2 slices swiss cheese
2 slices colby jack cheese
2 slices provolone cheese
1 slice parmegiano reggiano, cut in half
(note: try not to go too thick on your slices of cheese)
4 large leaves fresh basil, chiffonade
salt and pepper to taste
sauteed onions and mushrooms (optional)
roasted tomatoes (optional)
roasted sweet peppers (optional)

what to do:
1. if you've got a pannini press, brush it with olive oil and heat that up, or if you've got a waffle maker, turn the waffled side over to get to the flat grill side, brush with olive oil and heat that. if you've got neither, then just put a large skillet on the stove and brush with a generous amount of olive oil. follow assembly and cooking instructions for on the stove in step 4.
2. brush olive oil on the bread, all over, bottom and top. then brush the bread with marinara sauce and assemble the sandwich -- on one side of the sandwich, place:
sprinkle half of the basil onto the bread
half of the mushrooms, onions, tomatoes and peppers, if using
1 slice of mozzarella
1 slice of cheddar
1 slice of swiss
1 slice of jack
1 slice of provologne
half slice of parmeggiano
1 slice of cheddar
1 slice of swiss
1 slice of jack
1 slice of provologne
half slice of parmegiano
1 slice of mozzarella
top with the rest of the basil, mushrooms, onions roasted peppers, and tomatoes (if using). place the other piece of bread on top and press down.
3. if using a press or flat side of the waffle iron, place the sandwich onto the grill and press down until it is browned and melty. to be honest, i don't remember how long this takes, i just do it, and how it works is like this -- you put the sandwich into the press, press it down then walk away and let the heat do it's work, then check it, press some more, and so on until it's melted. don't try to put more than one or two sandwiches on these and only if they fit comfortably without crowding each other. if there's too much going on in there, it will not grill properly.
4. if you're using a skillet on the stove, don't assemble the sandwich just yet. take the two pieces of bread and brush them with olive oil all over. then, heat the skillet on medium high until a drop of water sizzles across it. toast each side of the bread in the skillet lightly, until just hot and a little golden. remove from the heat and quickly assemble the sandwich, splitting the assembly between both pieces of bread. DO NOT PLACE EITHER SIDE ON TOP OF THE OTHER. instead, place each assembled piece of sandwich bread into the pan and allow the melting to begin separately, then, when you notice each side has begun to melt, put the pieces of bread together and allow to finish cooking on each side, turning over until browned and melty.
5. this heart attack waiting to happen can be held in a warm oven until ready to eat -- and to get more melty, if you like. serve with really good sliced apples, thick sliced roasted potato slices and a nice Chardonnay (or, if for your kids and if you don't live in europe, apple cider). because of the size of the sandwich, you can cut this into quarters and share it out as an appetizer. you can also serve this with, yes, tomato soup... topped with a parmesan crouton, a drizzle of olive oil and a sprinkling of chiffonade fresh basil.

we also do this for tuna melts, but without the basil or marinara sauce, omitting the parmesan and using only one slice of everything.

i know i rambled a ton today and i'm sorry. maybe it's age setting it. or maybe i just had a lot to say... HA! didn't think of that, did you? either way, i'm sorry if i bored you all, but the memories of old and the knowledge of new just kind of merged today. maybe i can make my friends killer grilled cheese sandwiches, soup and have a raucous party of delight that way. as long as it comes from the heart, right?
"tote!"

My New Year's Resolution -- More RAPINI!!!!

2009-01-01T16:14:00.002-06:00

happy new year's eve, everyone. i hope all is well, libations are wonderfully delightful and you've dodged the crazies who were drinking and driving out on the streets last night. it's funny, i do believe the only thing i don't miss about los angeles is the warning to not shoot guns into the air and still hearing them being shot no matter where i was -- well, not at the beach. when i'd be at my bro's place, i wouldn't hear them, but i would where i lived and, yo, not happy. uh-uh.

as a general rule, i don't drive on new year's eve after a certain time. not interested in meeting the wrong drunk driver at the wrong time, especially not with my kiddles in the car. however, i have made a couple of resolutions i feel i need to share with you. ready? here goes:

i will gourmet cook every chance i get
i will not be in a financially icky place
i will follow my dreams
i will hug my children as often as they let me
i will get ready to do a marathon
i will EAT MORE RAPINI!!!

yes, rapini. it is a magicaly delicious veggie to me, for sure. i remember my first real introduction to it. not a long story, i promise, so i'll make it quick... ish... you know me.

my first job in entertainment was for my dad. he would pay me $3.50 an hour to read the scripts that would make their way to his hands and give him my thoughts. i was 12. nice guy, considering the minimum wage at the time was so not that and i was just a kid. i think he knew, even before i did, that my future lay in the written word in closer acquaintance than acting or singing. and, so, i did that. from there, i went to work for various factions as soon as i was old enough -- a movie theatre at age 15ish/16 (i lied about my age to get the gig, cuz, back then, you couldn't work unless you were 16), auditioning for commercials (i hated it, so i quit my agent who thought i was absolutely crazy), working for a record company, going on the road and selling t-shirts for the "official licensor" of such bands as Cameo, Culture Club, and Lakeside (if you recall the last one, you're amazing), worked in reality television before it was cool and, i'm getting to the rapini now, working for a little company called Eddie Murphy Television. i was assistant to the president of TV and, yes, it's that Eddie Murphy , as in Shrek's best bud -- i did move up to features and a big deal sounding (emphasis on "sounding") development position, but that's totally boring and has nothing to do with rapini, so forget it (although it has quite a lot to do with soft shelled crabs, but we'll get to that someday). anyway, my boss was cool, the vps were awesomely wild guys who had gone to high school with eddie and their fave thing to order from a fab italian place near us called Marino (which is still there in l.a. on melrose, people, so check it out if you get a chance) was their rapini. i learned quickly that it was quite the popular veggie item, because it would often be sold out.

for my birthday and to thank me for being such a great assistant -- which i moved out of and into features a few months later -- was a lunch there. so i ordered the rapini with my meal. luckily, they had it. i tasted it and i have been hooked ever since. i am a total greens kinda girl. i love greens sauteed with garlic, olive oil, balsamic and a sprinkling of parmesan, no matter what they are. i adore them and rapini is a mix of broccoli and bitter greens that makes me swoon. oh, man. i could live in those suckers and nothing else ever as long as i live. i mean it. if i could just eat greens everyday for the rest of my life -- with rice and a poached egg, i suppose -- i would die happy. definitely.

and, so, i decided it's time to be more about rapini. the one place i can find it here is Whole Foods and i don't get to go there as much as i like, for obvious reasons, but i did this past week in prep for my chocolate recipe testing. and i got two bunches of rapini and i devoured, by myself, the first one. oh, yes. i am happy. and, so, one of my new year's resolutions is to eat more of it, cuz it makes my tummy happy and me happy and that, my friends, is excellent. here's how i make it. you see what works for you. it is, as i say, a somewhat bitter green, much like radicchio (another all time fave of mine) and mustard greens (yep, love 'em when done right), but it's yummy and so worth it. oh, man.

check it out:

RAPINI MADNESS
1 tbs good olive oil
3 pcs. bacon (turkey bacon totally acceptable), diced (optional)
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 bunch of rapini, well washed and cut in half, a bit of water still clinging to the veggies
salt & pepper to taste
pinch of red pepper flakes
1 tbs. good balsamic vinegar (or whatever kinda vinegar ya got on hand, quite frankly, except rice vinegar -- we'll get to that)
1 tbs. grated parmesan (or romano, or asiago, if you're on a budget -- you could also buy one of those tubs with all three in 'em and it'll be awesome)

what to do:
1. in 12" sautee pan heat the olive oil over medium heat. add the bacon, cooking until browned and just getting crispy, if using. add the garlic cloves until they are just fragrant -- do not let brown.
2. toss in the rapini, salt and pepper to taste and a pinch of the red pepper flakes (more if you're in a spicy mood). using tongs (not a fork or a spatula), toss the rapini in the hot oil, coating with the flavors and bacon. test a piece to see if it is tender, but still with plenty of bite and take off the stove.
3. quickly add the vinegar, sprinkle on the parmesan, toss again then serve hot.

love it. AB-SO-LUTE-LY LOVE THIS! if you use rice vinegar, i suggest you use 1 tbs. veggie oil, dump the bacon altogether, add some diced ginger -- about 1 tsp. -- keep the pepper flakes, add 1 tbs. roasted black sesame seeds (or regular ones, if you want, but i prefer the black with this), drizzle with just a bit of ponzu and sesame oil and serve with some great steamed rice and steamed ginger fish. omg, so good.

so this is one of my new year's resolutions. also to be more consistent with the blog and give you more cost saving yums for your life of food luxury -- as well as unexpectedly decadent ones. cuz, don't we all deserve some killer food even if we're cutting corners? and don't we also deserve ways of doing things from scratch that don't freak us out? i think so. so do my sons.
that's enough for me.
peace and love and happiness, everyone.
i mean that from the heart.
happy new year and, as springsteen says, happy the rest of your life :o)
cheers.

If Not For The Boost of Anti-Oxidants, My Kitchen Would Be Lost...

2008-12-30T09:10:00.002-06:00

i dare to admit that i am a bit of a slacker during the holidays when it comes to cooking. i tend to make something for whatever big day, know i've still got work to do at work, for work, surrounding work, so i know i'm going to need to leave things for my sons to eat so they won't just go off and have cereal or lots of leftover dessert throughout the day and call it lunch and i know that i'm worn out from whatever big cooking i did for whichever big day. so, i leave notes saying how there are leftovers in the fridge, buy to go or prepared foods a lot so i don't have to face the stove in the midst of chaos. that's how i HAVE BEEN in the past. i'm not a big "let's spend the dough cuz i'm just too tired" kinda chick these days. nope. and, so, i have devised a way for me to be able to adjust my holiday slackerism so i can manage my non-existent budget. here it is... ya ready? okay...

green tea

did you see that? i'll say it again...

green tea

oh, and acai berry juice (thanks to my miracle nephew, the jord-man)

i know all about how good they are for you and i've been a pretty major green tea junkie since i can recall -- one of my fave desserts is green tea ice cream -- however, it has come to be my saving grace during these tricky and rather busy times. and my older son, nicholas, is the KING of creating taste sensations for me to add to my tea. oh, man. simply delicious and spicy concoctions that add just the right flavor and has gotten quite a few of my friends up in arms with its deliciousness. here's a sampling of one of them:

NICHOLAS' GINGER LIME TEA HONEY
1 1/2 cups raw honey
1 heaping tsp. ground ginger
1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg
1 tbs. fresh squeezed lime juice

what to do:
place all of these in a 1 pint mason jar and shake until combined. add to your tea as desired.

there's such a simple pleasure to having a cup of really well brewed hot tea with just the right flavoring in it. i love sitting in the quiet of the morning and enjoying the fragrance of tea wafting from my mug. it's the epitome of peace to me. i have this chunky, flowered cup that reminds me of something winnie the pooh would use that i bought on the one trip i've ever made to walmart and no way am i ever giving it up. i bought two of them, one for my office and one for my home. i live in these freakin' mugs as if my life depended on it. weird, huh? these are my tea mugs. coffee has never touched them. actually, coffee hasn't touched any cup in my house for going on two years, now, and i used to be a major coffee drinker with a french press and everything. but, i'm all about tea now. oh, i've always loved tea. it was one of those things i shared with my mom growing up, moments i got to have with her. neither of my parents drank coffee and when my gee gee would visit, my mom would stock up on her coffee for her -- she drank sanka with saccharine tablets (does anyone remember those?). my dad finally bought a Mr. Coffeemaker when we got older, just because he and my mom realized their FRIENDS drank coffee and never had it at their house when they would entertain, so he gave in. but he and my mom never drank it. but, i'm totally digressing, so forgive me.

we were talking about the saving powers of green tea, at least for me.

and it's been a really great friend to me. i don't drink energy drinks anymore, because of my complete devotion to green tea and acai berry shots -- i love the almost creamy, chocolatey taste of acai berry straight up in a shot glass. it's heavenly and i feel all clean and fabulous inside. whether i am or not is anyone's guess, but it feels good to me, so i do it and i buy it from my nephew, even though it costs A TON OF DOUGH! mainly, cuz i'm worth it, i suppose. in my little bid to keep myself healthy, happy and on the planet in a positive way.

and, so, as i was working like a fiend last night to create these Scharffenberger Chocolate based recipes to enter a chocolate contest before 04 january and hopefully win $5000 -- keep your fingers crossed -- i was suckin' down green tea with nicholas' special concoction and feeling like i could do anything... even make a chocolate roasted leg of lamb that would wow anybody. hell, my sons liked it as well as the coconut mango brownie cake i made -- even nicholas liked the cake and he's SOOOO not a chocolate person. he wanted seconds, so maybe i've got a shot. at least i do with my kids, which, let's be honest, is all that truly matters...
and winning $5000 so we can save a bit...
and buy more green tea and acai berry juice...
so i can enter more contests and win more money for us...
and we'll move to tuscany where i will cook and my friend fern will be my gardener...
a girl can dream, can't she?
and i shall.

Cooking My Goose

2008-12-23T15:28:00.000-06:00

my grandmother came to visit us when i was a kid around the holidays. i remember she'd stay with us for a reasonably long period of time each time she'd come to visit -- which wasn't often, because she had a life of her own, ya know. she was a reverend in a very small town on west virginia and i didn't realize what a big deal it was for a small, compact, very fair skinned, grey-eyed black woman to be a reverend in a southeastern town until i grew up, but that's neither here nor there. back to my gee-gee (she was called gee-gee because my cousin, barbara, who was the first grandchild, couldn't say "grandmother" when she was a baby and called her "gee-gee" -- which is really pronounced "ghee-ghee" like a double dose of indian clarified butter, to which i can relate, for sure). she came to visit us and made us a christmas goose with saurekraut dressing. i had no idea there was sauerkraut in it until i grew older and asked my mom to make it for me, to which she replied she had no idea how and "gee-gee made it with sauerkraut dressing, and i have no idea how she made it". quite a drag, quite frankly, because it was delicious and wonderful. gee-gee is long gone, but that memory has stayed with me forever and my sons have come to appreciate and demand that christmas isn't christmas unless we cook a goose. amazing.

you might wonder how you cook a goose and it's rather simple, really. prick the fatty skin (except the breast, ya know, cuz the breast is dry enough without willing all that fat to go away from it -- yikes!). some people soak it in a salted brine overnight, some people steam it first then roast it and some folks boil it to get the fat off of it before they roast it. however you choose to do it, do it with frivolity and the knowledge that charles dickens is smiling down at you.

but, anyway, we're having goose and christmas ham, another tried and true recipe passed down to me by my mom's side of the family, this time from my mom herself. this was ages ago and i've made it many a time. my son, brandon, who doesn't like ham as a general rule, tends to ask for it this time of year. go figure.

we have a rule for both thanksgiving and christmas: we choose names out of a hat and whosever name is chosen gets to pick that year's thanksgiving feast and the next person to have their name chosen gets to pick our christmas feast. this year we are doing two fabulous traditions. every christmas, actually, somehow we get a choice of goose and ham. lovely.

and, so, in our fridge right now is a goose, a ham, some good ginger, a bit of... wait a minute! these are secret recipes i can't share with the world, but i promised some low cost things to get you through, didn't i? and you shall have them... and here they are for today:

CHRISTMAS MORNING EGG PIE
RUSH HOUR CHICKEN MATZO BALL SOUP w/CHICKEN SALAD SAMMIES

i think you'll like these. they're a fave of ours through the years and something that's easy, fast and yummy. at least those kiddles of mine think so.

Egg Pie
Ingredients:
2-9" deep dish pie crusts, frozen (oh, yes -- i said frozen, i like Pet Ritz or Marie Calendar's, but it's up to you -- you can also make your own butter pie crust which is a cost saver if you've got the ingredients around your house and you don't fear pie crust, which many do, and i do make my own, but when it comes to cost cutting and time saving, these frozen dealies are really handy)
1-dozen eggs
1 large jar fave marinara sauce -- me, i make my own (cost saving, truly), but when i do use jarred, i choose Newman's Own or Classico
1 package shredded Monterey Jack Cheese
Salt & Pepper to taste

what to do:
1. pre-bake your two pie crusts on a baking sheet per the package instructions. if using a homemade pie crust, pre-bake for 15 minutes at 400ºF then let cool. turn the oven down to 350ºF.
2. crack 6 eggs into a bowl and a dash of salt and pepper then whisk until frothy. heat some vegetable oil spray in a (preferably) non-stick skillet until a drop of water sizzles and add the eggs. stir until just beginning to cook then transfer to one of the pie crusts, spreading across the bottom evenly. cook the rest of the eggs the same way and fill the pie crust. it will not come to the top of the crust, but should fit nicely on the bottom. note: you don't want to cook your eggs completely. you want them rather wet, but not completely raw.
3. pour about 1/2-3/4 cup of the sauce over the eggs, spread across the top. sprinkle with enough cheese to cover. continue with the other pie.
4. pop into the oven and bake until the cheese is melted and the eggs are cooked through, about 20-25 minutes. let set for about 10 minutes before serving.

okay, here's the cool thing about this: our family serves this every christmas morning with really good sausages my faboo sis-in-law gets from the butcher up the street from their place. we make about four or more pies, cuz there's a bunch of us when we all get together and it's one of those things you can eat throughout the day, reheat the next day, the whole deal. the boys and i have taken to adding stuff into the eggs while they're cooking and it's really yum. it's transformed into a lunch item and a dinner item. for example, the other night i made it for the kids -- made two more for work that morning, got snowed in, covered them up, refrigerated 'em and reheated them in the ayem and took them to my pals at my humble work space -- and i added some ground beef sauteed in garlic, herbs and mixed with sauteed potatoes and leeks. divine. the egg pies i made for work were also unique -- i made one basic one and one with leeks and potatoes (too many vegetarians or meat conscious people at my office to want to inflict beef on everyone). you could add whatever you like, in moderation, to create quite a dinner. this notoriously is to serve four people each, but you can cut the wedges smaller and get more out of each pie -- even eight pieces out of each. if you choose to add things like mushrooms, seafood, spinach or even cheese to your eggs, make sure you thoroughly cook the veggies and seafood and drain well before adding to the eggs, with the cheese, don't add too much because it'll make the eggs mealy if you do. i would use the ratio of 1/4 cup of anything you add to the eggs as they cook for each 1/2 dozen you scramble. too much is, well, too much, ya know? the versatility of this is why i like this as a cost saving alternative meal. a lot of folks already have this stuff in their fridge and if you don't feel like having to buy pie crust, then you can make it from scratch. i have another recipe we make for a lazy sorta strata, but that's for another time. you can serve this in the morning with sausage, bacon, fruit, lunch with a salad and crusty bread or soup, dinner with some great veggies like sauteed greens or zucchini, a nice viognier chilled to perfection or whatever. it's good.

this next is such a great cold weather cure all that takes no time at all, i fall in love and you can get two meals out of it. watch and learn, people. watch and learn.

RUSH HOUR CHICKEN MATZO BALL SOUP W/CHICKEN SALAD SAMMIES

Ingredients:
1 package of chicken breast halves, skin and bones on and in
1 onion, peeled and quartered
1 celery stalk (preferably with leaves still on), cut into chunks
handful of italian parsley, stalks included
1 garlic clove, smashed
enough chix broth to cover
salt & pepper, to taste
matzo ball mix -- follow directions on the package
1/2 package fine egg noodles -- cook per directions on package

WHAT TO DO:
1. clean your chix breast halves and place them in a dutch oven. add the onion, celery, parsley, garlic clove and cover with chicken broth. add salt and pepper to taste and bring to a boil.
2. simmer for about 20 minutes then turn off the heat and let the chix sit in the broth until cool. take the chicken out of the broth, strain the broth of the veggies, put it back in the pot and set aside.
3. take the skin off of the chicken and pull it off the bone. set aside chicken from one of the half breasts and shred the rest into a bowl, adding in a bit of the onion and a splash of the broth. season to taste with salt and pepper, add mayo to your desired amount, some chopped celery (if you're into that crunch in your chix salad), a little pinch of garlic powder and keep in fridge until ready to use.
4. chop the reserved chicken breast meat from the one remaining half into cubes and add to the broth. set on low to heat up. add the cooked egg noodles.
5. make the matzo balls per package instructions. when cooked, raise the heat on the broth until it is simmering and add the matzo balls. bring to a boil, turn down to a simmer for about 5 minutes.
6. ladle the soup into bowls allowing 1 matzo ball per person and serve along with either crackers for dipping in the chicken salad or the chicken salad on sandwiches.

here's the deal -- cooking the chix with the skin and bones gives it more flavor. just take all of that off and out when it is ready. this is one of those all purpose, great on a cold night or afternoon dishes that can be made in pretty much one pot, if you like. you can add carrots to this (i, personally, despise cooked carrots, so it takes a lot for me to do that, although i do add carrots to my bolognese sauce, so, ya know...), float a poached egg in the soup -- which, of course, i do ALL THE TIME -- not add the chicken, add the chicken, whatever you like. i like serving the chicken salad with sturdy kettle chips or tortilla chips and dipping into it with that. i'm not much for potato chips, but i am a total tortilla chip whore and will do whatever i can to eat the with whatever i can. this chix salad is super yummy on it. yep.

and, so, here are some holiday time and money savers for you. i'll be back tomorrow, cuz it's christmas eve, dontcha know, and i have one last word on 2008, if that's cool.

cheers!

Holiday Hangouts (or is it Hang "ups"?)

2008-12-09T09:49:00.011-06:00

here's the deal, it's the holidays. and, to be quite honest with you, i'm a little stressed about them. food plays a huge part in the holidays for us as well as many of the folks out there and i've been sitting around my house, coming up with schemes to make it work for us in these "tough economic times", just felt like channeling NPR for a sec., sorry. anyway, i've been coming up with things that will be yum and not feel like they're low rent in anyway.

but, beyond that, there is this extraordinary feeling of warmth for those around me who have been my friends and support. i will admit that i have yet to embrace the midwest. and i don't mean in an idealistic way, but a genuine "where's a cute bistro?" way. i don't know where anything is besides the places i've met friends in the past and part of me feels like it's my way of maintaining my "L.A. STATE OF MIND" to revise a tad Billy Joel's song.

my friends, as i've said before, are true and wonderful and i've been lucky enough to cultivate some pretty awesome male friendage that makes me smile daily even when i think i won't. i'm far away from home, so i appreciate the friendships i've developed. and, in that, comes this desire to feed my male friends at a feast meant expressly for them -- l.a. based and beyond -- cuz, truth be told, i'm more of a "guy hang out" chick than a "female bonding" babe. and don't get all up in arms about the labels i'm putting on myself. it's me, true and simple. sometimes i'm a dame, a vamp, a bitch, a lady, a girl and on and on. aren't we all? and, if we aren't than i'm alone in this and that's cool. really.
but, i digress...

and, so, holidays have a certain sort of caste to them at the moment, and, yet, i'm looking forward to them. my sons are such extraordinary little souls of wild imagination, it's cool. they roll with me however i am and love me no matter what. i actually know that and it makes me want to cook for them, show them my love through sustenance. is that crazy? and it's the thing i like to do for my male friends when i want to show them how cool they are to me. i like to cook, i think i do okay at it and if it brings joy, so be it.

like, today. i had made this carrot cake my pals like. i did it for a specific reason and it worked out well. my friends ate it and felt yummy and that's what i want. i want to make other people feel like superstars through my food. wouldn't that be cool? to make someone you care about feel like they truly matter because you put such love into something you did for them?

i'm not talking about being in love, i'm talking about just love in the abstract and in the personal without the physically intimate. cooking does that to me. it makes me feel like what i'm doing is creating amazing emotions through food. which brings us back to holidays. they may seem amazingly manufactured to others, but to me? i just overlook the commercialism, give it a wide berth and give in to it in a way that works for me. i feel like they are these ultimate excuses to indulge and give of yourself TO yourself and others. i like that and stress it. i wish i could make the time as carefree as i recall it being for myself as a kid and i hope i will one of these days. i just know how the shit is these days and wonder if i'm capable of it.

for me, through food, i can.
a great homemade spiced cranberry sauce with orange zest.
a beloved christmas goose in our honey lime ginger glaze.
a cookie baking session that lends itself to true collaboration and creation.

ah, the holidays. yes, we're broke, it's true. i'm scraping by, like so many others, but we deserve a gift. a gift of us and the bounty, the food of love that defines us. i like christmas time, even though i haven't got any affiliation or commitment around it for myself, in particular. i grew up celebrating Hanukkah with friends and supporting my beloved sister-in-law's tradition more than my own. it's just how it laid out, truly. that's why, whenever we cook for Christmas, celebrate it, feel it, we make it something so vast in scope of diversity, even my darling sons can feel comfortable (which they do). even if all we can work up are some chicken nuggets, we can treat it as if it's foi gras and caviar. dress it up, make it look glamorous so we can dive in and feel special. it's that thing that makes me want to do something warm, fuzzy and totally not scary for my male friends. holidays, for me, are very male oriented -- hell, i have two sons, you figure it out -- and i like to do for my males what makes them smile. does that make me an anti-feminist? i don't think so. i think it makes me an independent female who digs guys a lot. and if you disagree, well, whatever. i'm cool with who i am, the food i prepare, the love i put into it.

nothing else matters this time of year, does it?
really?
stay tuned for some holiday on a budget shtuff to save sanity. i hope.

Top Ten Reasons I Love Top Chef

2008-12-08T01:29:00.001-06:00

i love top chef. i do. i love how it makes me jump up and run into the kitchen to see if it's ever going to be possible for me to stop being a mun-daily cook to a truly great artist in the kitchen. i guess if i had a couple of -30ish or so thousand bucks, i could go the Le Cordon Bleu route or just keep it simple and take my ass back to california where i got accepted to CSCA -- california school of culinary arts -- for pastry chefing only to realize that, hey, my credit SUCKS and i can't get a student loan or find a class time that will suit the fact that i have two children, no husband, and no one to really watch them while i'm in school. but just so's you know exactly WHY i love this freakin' show, here are my TOP TEN REASONS I LOVE TOP CHEF --

1) PADMA
just for the record? this is pronounced "Pad-MAH" not "Pad-MAY" as in Amidala, as in Star Wars: Episodes Bad to Worse (no offense to natalie portman, whom i think rocks as an actress, for the most part, but, let's get real). no, no, no, this is my girl Padma, who is seriously cool, at least to me, has my younger son all in a tizzy with her beauty and makes me want to grow my hair long and be east indian, which, of course, i will never be. can't change races in mid-stream, or so i hear, but i like her style. she's smart, a little sassy, and kind of a biznatch sometimes, which works on her.

2) TOM COLECCHIO
that little bald man has probably got a serious napoleonic complex and if i met him in person i might totally hate his guts. however, i do not hate him on the show. i like his little rolling of the eyes, the way padma will say something one way and he'll negate it, how he'll point out foibles with all the finesse of a viper snake, but makes incredibly good points and gives credit where credit is due. dig it.

3) IMPOSSIBLE CHALLENGES
can you say "plan, prep and serve a wedding dinner in less time it takes for caterers to even shop for a wedding dinner"? i mean, how freakin' CRAZY was that? as a person who has had to prepare individual wedding cakes for a wedding and ended up staying up for 72 STRAIGHT HOURS (can't you go to hell or lose your mind or something for that?) to finish it, i felt their pain. oh, did i ever. some of this shit is so off the hook, i sit there with my mouth open in awe. you've GOT to be kidding. but these peeps come through, well, most of them do. and when you've got someone who doesn't who usually does and thinks really highly of themselves, well that leads me to my next one...

4) WHINY CONTESTANTS WHO THINK THEY'RE THE SHIT, BUT THEY'RE JUST ACTING LIKE ONE
marcel was my favorite whiny boy from season 2 -- although, trying to shave his head while he slept was, um, probably not the best way to make the american public like you or even stay on the show. then there was dale from last season, who drove me so crazy, i thought i'd die laughing (although, if he had just taken all that passion and chilled out a bit and put it toward his food instead of trying to be the bad boy of the house, he might have gotten further). i hate reality television for the sheer volume of whiny contestant type people on shows and i have a deeply scarring memory of dealing with really whiny contestants on a reality show, but, for some reason, this just sends me into gales of laughter when i see this amazingly talented chef-types get all bent out of shape instead of focus on their craft. LOVE IT!

5) THE TALENT
OMG, they give these quickfire challenges, right? and you'll hear things like "go into a supermarket, talk to 50 people in 15 seconds and create a breakfast burrito that epitomizes those 50 personalities in 20 minutes -- go!" and you'll have these people, chefs, doing their little vo while they're cooking and you'll hear, "well, i had NO IDEA what to do, then i realized there was some ancient chinese secret quail eggs and butterfly wings packed in fairy juice and thought i would create a pomegranite creme brulee burrito with a touch of quail egg for color and the butterfly wings to add whimsy while dancing on the head of a pin." how they go from a to b with their ideas i would like to do someday. really. maybe not this intensely, okay, i'm SURE not like this, but KINDA like this. the spirit of this.

6) THE TASTERS
i love watching these poor people who find themselves on the receiving end of some of the most outrageous combinations in food history as part of a challenge. "take the typical chicken dinner at KFC and reinvent it." me? i'd add a sprig of mint and call it a day (okay, not really, you know that's not true, but you see my point). these guys think of ways to deconstruct the freakin' chicken, fill it with the souls of small children and deliver masterpieces and scary experimental shit that just blows the mind. then these wonderful tasters who are innocent bystanders are at the effect of it all. i sure hope they're being paid a shitload of dough, cuz you'd have to give me quite a hefty sum to get me to eat avocado ice cream -- and i like avocado. trust me.

7) THE GLAD FAMILY OF PRODUCTS
these guys get to preserve their food in such great little plastic containers for FREE, i'm just salivating.

8) GE
this needs no explanation, only the acknowledgement that i covet each and every piece in that freakin' kitchen, which then brings me to

9) THE TOP CHEF KITCHEN
once again, a serious covet. i sit and watch this damn show and all i can think is "my electric stove isn't calibrated and i have no idea how i'm able to cook things that aren't burnt or underdone every single day." yeah, i could go for a kitchen like that. just in case anyone was wondering what i wanted for christmas. thanks.

and, last, but by no means least, and just so's ya know, i didn't put this in any kind of order, 'kay? good. but last is...

10) THE INSPIRATION IT GIVES ME
i go into my kitchen, i sit at my laptop, i pick up yarn and two knitting needles, whatever it may be, and i am inspired to do more than i normally would or i'm able to get beyond my food block, writers block, knitting block, whatever is tripping me up and just do. it inspires me to work harder, to be better and to have fun little top chef competitions with my kids. dinner: impossible used to do that for me and as much as i like Michael Symon, i miss my buffed boy, Robert. ah, i do. so sad.

anyway, i say all this because i was inspired enough by top chef for me to complete nanowrimo -- which, in case you've never heard of it, is National Novel Writing Month, which takes place in the 30 days of november and you give yourself a goal of writing 50,000 words by november 30. on 28 november, i uploaded my novel and it came in at 52,636 words. yep, i feel pretty good about that and, as you can see, i've got my winner bling to prove it. but, even more than that is the fact that as broke as we are and we had to rework our thanksgiving dinner to accommodate it, i was able to pull off what my sons and i felt was a pretty terrific thanksgiving dinner because i was inspired. partly by top chef, partly by my sons, but i was inspired.

so thanks, top chef. thanks for giving me a reason to watch television. even if it's just for one hour during a limited time of year and once a week.

thanks, tons.

Save Money, Make Food... FROM SCRATCH

2008-11-17T19:55:00.008-06:00

we're strapped for cash. what's new, right? i mean, i'm not the only person out here totally strapped, so i'm not fretting too deeply. i mean, i have an ex-husband who's lost another job and may be at the end of his rope, so i don't look at my situation as horrific. it's par for the financial course and we adjust to accommodate it, right? i have skills in the home that can work to our benefit and one of those is that i can cook just about anything. really. and so i have.

yesterday, i made two loaves of bread, two pints of fresh berry jam and an interesting lunch the boys devoured (nicholas took to lunch at school the other day). like the black beans, i made something from basic ingredients we keep around the house. i made something with corn tortillas, ground beef, leftover rice, spices, salsa, and cheese. it was YUM TUM... oops, wait, let's show you what we did and you'll see how it works:

INGREDIENTS:

1 garlic clove, minced
1 pound ground beef
2 cups leftover rice
1 tsp. oregano
1 tsp. ground coriander
1/2 tsp. ground cardamom
1/2 tsp. cumin
1/4 tsp. cayenne
1 cup mixed cheese, grated (i used some yummy chevre and organic cheddar)
salt and pepper to taste
4 corn tortillas
1 jar chunky salsa (if you can get fresh salsa or make it yourself, great)
1 tbs. olive oil

what to do:
1. Preheat the oven to 350º and spray vegetable oil in a deep casserole with a lid.
1. heat the olive oil in a 12" pan. add the garlic clove and stir until it's fragrant -- about 2 minutes.
2. add the ground beef and saute until brown. add the rice and brown through.
3. add the seasonings -- oregano, coriander, cardamom, cumin, and cayenne (that's a lot of "c's"), stir until cooked through, about 2 - 3 minutes, hten set aside.
4. it's time to layer. spray the bottom of a casserole with vegetable spray and layer a spread of salsa (can be store bought, but the best and chunkiest you can get, the better) the put down one corn tortilla, lay some salsa on top, add some beef mixture then sprinkle with a little cheese, layer three more times then end with the salsa and some cheese on top. this is basically like a lasagna. Bake in a 350ºF oven for about 10-15 minutes.
5. when you take it out, the cheese should be bubbly and melted. cut as with lasagna and serve with a fresh salad with a light dressing.

what did we think: as i said, nicholas took this to school for lunch and brandon had two servings. i tasted it and it was yum. i know times are hard for everyone and i'm sorry, truly. we're in the middle of it, too. and whatever i can pass along that might help, food wise, i'll do.

cuz that's what friends are for.
thanks, Dionne, Stevie, Gladys, and Elton
:o)

Beans are Magically Delish

2008-11-15T21:25:00.004-06:00

i love beans. i do. i love black beans (or turtle beans, if you're into the various verbage for food), great northern beans, pinto beans, lentils, blah, blah, blah. i can be transported by a simple dish of cannelinis that are perfectly mixed with steamed, chilled baby shrimp, chopped prosciutto, some good balsamic, a quick brush with garlic and tossed with butter lettuce. it's one of my faves, so i'm easy like that. there's this place in l.a. called maple drive that makes a salad like that and i used to order it to be delivered to my house once a week. honest. and i'm not a believer in having dinner delivered to my house (i'd just rather cook it, as you can see). loved this salad. absolutely lived on it.

i can be happy with a good bowl of well-made beans on rice and nothing else. it's a complete protein when it's prepared that way. yep, it is. swear. if you pair legumes with grains -- preferrably those really great grains like brown rice, wild rice, quinoa and stuff like that -- then you're a happy, peppy (and potent) protein producer. it's good for you and they taste yummy if done right.

now, as you all may (or may not) know, i am an ardent follower of one reality show and one reality show only -- TOP CHEF. i love Project Runway, so don't get me wrong, but i watched one episode of that show this season, cuz i was way busy with other things, but when it comes to TOP CHEF, tom collechio owns me. for sure. and i will not miss my show. i'm so jazzed that it's starting, i can't even tell you. but i'm actually digressing... as i am wont to do, so let me get to the point. i watch a lot of Top Chef and in last season's top chef, one of my all time fave contestants got kicked off in the eleventh hour because she UNDERcooked her pigeon peas in puerto rico. i was heartbroken when she did that -- final cookoff jitters, i'm sure -- and especially when she gave the excuse of wanting to cook her peas al dente. um, there's no such thing as al dente in legume-ville. oh, you'll read places that talk about not cooking them to mush (i'm gonna have a tale about that at the backend of this, no worries), but beans aren't like pasta. the firmer is SOOOO not the better. uh, uh. or, at least, in my opinion. my blog, my rules. live with it.

okay, so, why am i telling you all of this? cuz i made what i am thinking is one of the greatest pots of bean feasting ever created. it is savory, it is the right consistency and it makes me happy. i do that from time to time, put up large vats of beans and freeze or can them. my kids like them over rice with tortillas, some good cheese, steak or chix and a flavorful salad. they just roll all that up together into a tortilla and down it. sometimes we do without the tortillas and there are just huge leaves of lettuce for them to wrap the whole mess in and they're happy.

i like it when my kids are happy, cuz, then, i'm happy. the sun even seems to shine a little bit more golden when my kids are happy, so i'm good with that.

but, anyway, tonight, i decided to make a big pot of black beans with chunks of sweet turkey italian sausage sauteed and dropped in them for good measure. i was going to add this to a bowl of steamed rice, a sprinkling of really good chevre left over from the obama celebration (which continues, believe me -- my friend, jonathan, who is a tres cool dude, made a JOKING suggestion for me to do a 100 days party and i'm so gonna... oh, yeah... thanks jp!) all accompanied by a good salad of romaine, japanese apple pear chunks and the smokey, spicey, sweet almonds i also made for the party. however, my eldest teen, who is the only one home tonight (my younger, at the end of tweendom kid is off partying with his "big brothers of america big brother"... and when i say partying, i mean playing video games and when i say playing video games i mean... well... playing video games), is exhausted from a day of thinking about cleaning the house and regaling the local borders bookstore with his dulcet musical tones with the rest of his middle school and he's fast asleep upstairs. has been for the last several hours. so no one is home to eat what i had hoped would be a masterpiece of comfort food other than me -- and i'm not all that hungry -- and the dog -- who is no way getting that (although i did give her some carrots and grapes earlier -- she's really into the veg thing. go figure.)

okay, so, i'm rambling and, well, i'll tell you the deal after i tell you what i concocted.

POT OF BLACK GOODNESS
ingredients:
1 large clove garlic, minced
1/2 onion, diced
2 stalks celery, diced
1 1/2 tbs olive oil
1 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp fresh ground pepper
1 tsp. italian seasoning (preferably organic)
1 package sweet italian sausage -- turkey
2 1/2 cups black beans (rinsed, picked through, soaked for a bit -- overnight, two hours, whichever tricks your trigger)
4 cups of cold, filtered water
1 bay leaf
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp coriander
1 tsp cardamom
1 tsp. dried oregano, crumbled
pinch cayenne pepper
salt and pepper to taste

what to do:
1. soak the beans, if you're into that, and set aside.
2. heat your olive oil in a dutch oven for about 10 seconds then add the garlic, the onion and celery, sauteeing over a medium-high heat until fragrant and soft, about 3 minutes, making sure not to brown. add the salt, pepper and italian seasoning, stirring to combine. add the italian sausage, whole, and sautee until lightly brown on each side then add the drained beans and the 4 cups of water. add the bay leaf and bring to a boil. turn the heat down and bring to a simmer. DO NOT COVER.
3. simmer these little suckers. as soon as the italian sausage is cool enough to handle, cut them into medium sized chunks and add to the simmering water. simmer the entire pot for about 2 hours, check the tenderness of the beans and water level of the pot to make sure they aren't burning, adding more water if necessary. add the rest of the spices, including the salt and pepper.
4. cook the water down until the beans are creamy and tender, adding more spices if necessary (do this to your taste). remove the bay leaf and serve over steamed rice with a nice sprinkling of chevre or goat cheese on top.

i tasted this and, oh, this worked out VERY well. excellently well. i smiled. and it was just me, sitting on the couch, with my dog sleeping beside me, and tasting this in a small ramekin with a spoon as my only companion to share this. oh, man... maybe it's because it's night time, and i'm all by my lonesome, i'm getting ready to do some serious all night writing, and there's a serious comfort food thing about it, but i'm loving this recipe that's just been concocted. i could get into this.

and, now, my partying/videogame playing tween child has returned and is full of happiness about his evening, so i must, absolutely go to him and hear his joy at being able to zone out for as long as he has noticing the moon is glowing more brightly than before because of the reflection of giddy happy coming off of my kid , but, first a brief story about the al dente beans i experienced...

i have a couple of soup cookbooks. i like them and use them, often. i'm a soup girl, for sure. so, anyway, one of them has a recipe for tuscan white bean and shrimp soup, which is one of my faves, up there with Straggiatella and Pasta a Fagioli. oh, yeah. okay, so, i'm reading through the recipe first -- which one should ALWAYS DO -- and discovered this particular cookbook said they don't soak their beans first and they cook their beans just to doneness. they like having a little bite to their beans. okay, i thought. i'd never done that before, but i'm game, right?

oy... the recipe itself is fantastic, the flavor really good and the whole combo really amazing. it was the underdoneness of the beans that totally got me a little "hmm... this is one of those 'i need to think for myself' times". i still love the cookbook and i still use it, faithfully. i just do what i want with the bean soups, because i am absolutely not into al dente legumes. they don't need to be mush, so don't misunderstand me, but a little bite and not even cooked are too different things. oh, yeah.

such a little thing. a pot of beans. but a yum, happy thing just the same. and that's all right with me.

FEAST FOR OBAMA BIDEN

2008-11-08T21:15:00.006-06:00

i mentioned that last night we had a bit of a fiesta of food and friendship (nice f words are fun). i kind of skirted over it, but it was very food oriented and deserves its own blogspot of its very special own... ness.

the idea came to me awhile ago to do a happy hour with my buddies here in the red middle of the country and it was really for no particular reason, just a chance to hang and get toasted with work people, actually. but, when i had to postpone it, i realized the friday after the election would be a good day to celebrate or commiserate (yikes!) as we saw fit. i had no idea what i was going to serve, just where to do it: my friend, melissa's, party room in her condo building... as i said in the last post. so, no, i don't have short term memory loss. think of this as a television soap opera and i am recapping all of the highlights from the last episode in the first 30 seconds. sound fair?

good.

okay, so my pal kindly agreed to work out the logistics of getting the room while i said i would do the food. she looked at me as if i had gone mad and i pointed out that, ya know, i used to do this for a living and liked doing it and got into the habit of entertaining like this, so i had to do it my way OR I WOULD GO FREAKIN' CRAZY!!! i just couldn't go and grab some wine, bread, cheese, fruit, crackers, lay it out and sit back. i had it to be what I WANTED for a happy hour that would last way past normal happy hour time -- it went from 5:30 until 11:00 at night, but pro'ly would have gone later if we'd done it on a saturday. pro'ly. anywho, so i began the process of putting together a menu for the shindig which was pretty fantastic and fun for me, cuz i hadn't done that for a long time, not since this siesta thing i had done soon after i moved here to thank the women who had welcomed me into their friendship-y kinda hearts. a total girly party with little slippers for yummy relaxation, mini-electric massagers and lots of sleepy areas to just chill the whole afternoon through.

i'm doin' that again. i LOVED getting that ready.

but, as always, i digress...

for this party, i wanted to have food that would appeal to vegans, vegetarians, non-beef AND beef eaters. men and women, boozehounds and highbrows. a good mix of yums as well as sweets that could give people lots of smiles, hopefully. when i looked at the menu i initially created i heard a voice inside of me say, in a rather sarcastic and irritating voice, "yeah, that TOTALLY makes sense. that won't stress you out AT ALL... right..." there were about 20 main course dish things on this list. how crazy i am is really my own burden to bear, i promise. i don't put it on my kids too, too much and try not to have my friends have to bear the load for me (anymore), but, yes, i'm nuts. and i'm all right with that (and i'm allowed to say things like "nuts" and "looney" when speaking of myself, because i used to work for the Mental Health Association of Los Angeles County, was a staunch advocate for mental health and focused on policies surrounding the better treatment for those suffering from it and have a deep and abiding affection for the cause, mean this in the absolutely least derogative way to those who actually suffer from mental illness and would never, in a million years, use this in serious discussion of such, so just back off). WHEW! might be some baggage there i need to clear up, but as i was saying, i needed to really shave off those dishes. i did... and i told myself that... and i did...

but not by much.

i now possess enough wine to make me able to go to book club without having to BUY a bottle of wine for a solid 2 years and that's only if we actually have book club every single month or i go every single month. if we or i skip a month, i have enough wine for much longer. i also have enough food to feed my sons without having to cook a single thing for the next full week as in 7 days... that is, if my sons weren't already taller than i, weigh more than i hope i EVER WILL and 11 and 12 1/2 size feet (and they are, as a reminder, as soap operas do, 12 and 13 years old... yep... ).

but, and i can not say this enough, that doesn't matter to me, because i loved each and every minute of putting this together, creating the list, making the food, plating it, writing what would go with what, finding the right platters, etc. i LOVED IT! it exhausted me, i am still, now, so tired, i can't close my eyes and i had to be up at 5:15 in the morning to take my older son to his last weekend of football so we could be there at 6:30 in the morning for weigh in and it was 32 degrees outside in a blustery wind (um, in case you didn't realize, they play that sport outside). i didn't go to sleep until a bit after 2:00 in the morning, because i was unloading my car of all the stuff i had taken to the party and putting away anything that could go bad if left out, which was a lot. thank the wondrous energy of faith based perfection (whatever your choice might be with that) for my having two fridges, 2 regular sized freezers and one deep freeze ( i also have a gas stove sitting in my garage waiting to be hooked up or sold, whichever becomes more vital to my existence, but that's another story for another time). i would do it again in a heartbeat, i'd do it every weekend if i could. i love feeding my friends and family in a festive atmosphere and here's why:

because it's pure joy, love, warmth, caring, passion, desire, life. food, to me, is not just sustenance. it is an event, it is beauty. when treated the right way, to me, food becomes a door opening up for new ways of talking, loving, being. i can not tell you enough how deep my affection for cooking goes. i would give everything up (except for writing, my children, my pets and my family, so not EVERYTHING, but everything else... oh, and except my friends. i like my friends a lot) to be able to cook in a great kitchen for the rest of my life and share that cooking with many people. not like in a restaurant, but in my home. cooking, eating, FEEDING is communal. i like the social aspect of it, the way of tasting something, letting it sit upon your tongue, savor it and enhance your next sentence or what you are hearing. it incorporates all of the senses and i like that about it as well.

the response last night was lovely to the food and i appreciate that, to be sure. i want to cook well so that when my friends or family taste the food it makes them feel loved, makes them feel good, so it definitely matters to me to have people enjoy my food, but that's not why i do it, so that they'll tell me how cool i am. what made the evening so great was being able to present something i felt underscored how important the occasion was simply by my desire to pull out the stops for the spread. because this is a momentous occasion in our nation's history and in my own doubts about my desire to remain in this country.

when our president was announced on tuesday night, my sons and i were ecstatic. but it wasn't until later, when i was sitting alone, that the tears came, because i realized i could feel belief in my heart again. that my love of country was something very true and real, because i didn't know, until that moment, that if the other candidate had won, i would have sold everything, packed up the kids, the pets and some cookbooks and moved to another country without a second thought. i understood then that all my talking about it wasn't just that. i meant it with all my heart.

but now i'm not. now, i am completely ready to see where life takes us and, right now, life's a bit hard for us, like so many others. but i see a light at the end of the tunnel that i feel will overtake all things in my life. and that's why i created the menu i did for the friends who matter so much in my life. here's the menu for us to check out just for giggles (but no recipes this time, sorry... those are secret and mine -- i know, what a bitch, right? get over it):

olive tapenade w/crostini
hummus w/pita chips
spicy marinated olives and caper berries
sweet and spicy cumin almonds
fresh and dried fruit basket with assorted cheeses
hot and gooey brie w/warm bread and assorted crackers
guacamole w/tortilla chips
onion dip w/kettle potato chips
marinated roasted veggies
minced tofu in won ton cups
minced chicken in won ton cups
vegetable summer rolls w/ponzu dipping sauce
shrimp summer rolls w/sweet spicy dipping sauce
bul goki bundles on warm rice cakes w/scallion dipping sauce
giant chocolate chip cookies
orange ginger oatmeal cookies
fudgy brownies
mixed berry trifle
mojitos, wine, beer, water

assortment, as they say, is the spice of life. it was fun and i can't wait to do it again. but, even more than that, this feeling inside is amazing.

last year, my younger son came up to me and told me he wanted to be the first black president of the united states. i told him then that this guy who was putting his campaign together, obama, might beat him there. he stopped, thought, then said, "well, then i'll be the first MIXED RACE president in the united states." i pointed out that obama was already mixed race. he thought another second then said, "well, i guess i better find out what he's all about." he was 10 at the time. now he's 12 and it was him and my other son who were downstairs while i was up in the kitchen cooking calling out the election results for me. it was all they watched tuesday night and when i cracked open some rather delicious spanish sparkling wine to celebrate the victory, they both cheered with me.

as for me, to quote the exquisitely haunting and subtly passionate nina simone:

it's a new dawn
it's a new day
it's a new life for me
and i'm feelin' good...

maybe that should be the anthem for the president elect's victory of 2008?
maybe so.

Spaghetti a la Greg

2008-10-08T21:14:00.001-05:00

missing someone can take its toll. their face, their smell, their spirit, their style -- people have so many facets that when you miss them, you miss the big, the small, and the whole of them. we are complex beings and, because of that, grief comes in different packages and guises, depending on the person you have... lost? no. sounds too much like misplacing them. you have had to go on in life without. better. i don't know of one word that would describe that kind of sorrow. and i'm (supposedly) a writer.

my father died. 12 years ago, 26 august. he died. gone. never to be seen again, except in memory, pictures and, luckily or not for me, film. my father is gone and he is never coming back. and as of 12 years ago, we had said our goodbyes in the lonely, silent place he had called his home for sometime, Las Vegas. and i miss him still. i miss him always.

my dad was a hard guy. truly. he had an edge that the streets and a rough life created far younger than anyone should bear. i remember hearing stories about how his mother handed him a "no more jim crow" sign when he was 3 and made him walk the line with her. 3. when my MIXED RACE sons were three, they were playing in a sandbox (or eating the sand, depending on which kid it was) and learning about sharing. shit.

i think sometimes, late at night, about how he might view my life, the world as it is now and the fact that we now have the first black president EVER. how amazing that all is. how i wish he was here to see it. and last night, as i celebrated this extraordinary event with friends at a feast i put together in the party room my sweeter than i ever say friend, melissa, was kind enough to provide and help me set up AND break down at her condo building, i couldn't help but think about my dad and, once in awhile, i had to excuse myself to the restroom and cry it out a bit. just a bit :o)

i learned to cook because of my father AND mother. they made the kitchen an amazing place to be and their sensibilities were geared toward homey food and fine food, both. my father was a true chops/grill kind of guy -- restaurants like Tail Of The Cock and Cock 'N Bull in L.A. were his staples, along with Musso & Frank's Grill and Hamburger Hamlet. he didn't much care for steaks, actually, or food cooked with wine, but he loved pot roast and ox tails and short ribs, deeply. and it was from him or through him or because of him that i discovered a true and unabiding adoration for soup. i love to make it, eat it and have it in my life. yum.

oh, and i also got my appetite -- which sucks -- from my dad. not his body type -- all legs, shoulders and skinny -- but his appetite. thanks.

when i was a kid, and i'm sure i've mentioned, my father would bring home these italian dinners created by one of the guys on his crew's mothers -- did that even make sense? let me try that again, dinners made by the mother of one of the guys at work. better. they were sicilian and she would make chicken cacciatore, lasagna and other things. my fave, for all time, was her spaghetti with sausage and boiled eggs. in sicily, because of money, boiled eggs in pasta are the poorman's meatball and i can't eat spaghetti without it now. nope. it's amazing. i adore it. it's one way to get me to eat pasta (of which i am, unfortunately, not a fan, unless it's asian or linguini alla vongole -- with clams/white sauce, not red, please). it is a heartwarming memory and a dish i perfected to the point that my father would ask me to make it for him whenever i'd see him. and i would. because i loved him (love him still).

SPAGHETTI AND BOILED EGGS -- this is a one pot meal. trust me
ingredients:
1 pound good, imported spaghetti
kosher salt
2 count of fruity olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
1 shallot, diced
large jar of pasta sauce (or your own homemade, which is what i use)
1 package good italian sausage -- either bulk or link, cooked and set aside
dried herbs: oregano, thyme, basil
1 bay leaf
salt and pepper to taste
4 boiled eggs, peeled
parmeggiano reggiano for sprinkling
crusty bread for dipping
your appetite

what to do:
1. so easy, really, cook the spaghetti or your fave long, thinnish pasta is good for this (not angel hair, too thin, and not fettucini, too flat and thick, although buccatini is yum with it) to the package directions, with a nice, healty pinch of salt to the water for taste. drain the spaghetti reserving about 1/4 cup of pasta water and DO NOT RINSE -- the starch that clings to pasta is what helps the sauce adhere to it. fun fact, i know.
2. in the same pot in which you cooked the pasta, heat it to medium for 10 seconds then add the 2 count of olive oil to the pan. let that heat for about 10 seconds then add the garlic and shallots and let them become aromatic, not browned (about 1-2 minutes). add the pasta sauce, cooked sausage (if using the links, just cut in two. you want big chunks with this), stir to combine, then add the herbs and let simmer a bit to get the flavors to mix.
3. taste for salt and pepper then add to your liking. add a bit of the pasta water for body, taste again, then add your boiled eggs, stir and let simmer for about 5-10 minutes, getting the flavor of the sauce into the eggs.
4. take a good forkful of pasta, put it in the center of the plate, laddle some sauce, add an egg then serve with plenty of good parmeggiano reggiano passed around.

this serves four and can be made the day before and kept in the fridge to really get the flavors blended. i'm certain this is NOT the original recipe of my dad's crew guy's mom, but it's the one i began working up when i was a kid and it's stuck. what's changed for me is i make my own meatballs and add them in, my own pasta sauce and cook the sauce for a lot longer, simmer it for awhile and give extra eggs to whomever wants them. sounds odd, but the meal works.

and, as always, a little interesting history about this: the last time my father was in the hospital, my bro and i were up in vegas checking him out, taking care of his apartment, moving him from upstairs to downstairs, because he was too weak to make it up the stairs anymore and just settling him in. for the last time, it would turn out, but we didn't know that. or, really? we did know it, inside somehow. there was a gentleness to everything we did, a fulfillment of a promise that was unspoken in some way.

during the last day of our being there, helping out, my brother and my dad were going to go check on some things out on the town while i stayed behind at my dad's place and did these specifically requested things for him: he wanted me to make him some pot roast, fry him some chicken, cook him up some greens, do a lasagna and, most importantly, make my spaghetti and eggs so he could have food. now, my brother and i had rented one car for the two of us and my dad and he took that when they went out on their errands. one of my brother's best friends from the elementary school days who was now living in las vegas was going to be around and suggested he drive me to the market and help me out. our flight was leaving that night, so i had a limited time to do all the cooking i needed to, and i was grateful for the help. okay, ecstatic. that morning, my brother dropped me at my dad's while he went off with him to go erranding for the day and while i waited for my brother's friend, who was like family to us, to come and pick me up...

... and waited...
...and waited...
... then called his pager...
... and waited (this is pre-portable cellphones that didn't cost a million bucks to own)...
... called his house and left a message...
... paged him again... paged him again... called his house again...
... and waited...

i toyed with calling a cab, but didn't know when my brother would be back, how long it would take the cab to come, get me to the market, get me back, and all that. did i still have time to cook this stuff? what was i going to do?

just as my brother returned with my father, a mere hour before our plane was leaving, my brother's friend finally showed up. this is as i am hugging my father goodbye, telling him how sorry i was that i didn't get to cook his stuff, and then rushing to get into the rental to return it to the airport. this guy showed up then.

my father died 2 months later and i never saw him again.
and i never will in my lifetime see my father walk into a room again.
it took me more years than i like to think to forgive this guy for bailing on me. i don't know if i really ever have. i mean, i adore him and all his irresponsible foibles -- he is a sweet man, his heart is in the right place, but life just gets in the way sometimes, doesn't it? yes, it does. and so i do forgive him that. i forgive him the human issues that arise for all of us, because i have them myself. hey, i suck at housekeeping, still live like i'm in a dorm room and wonder why my head is so full of crap all the time. and i have two kids, all my own, who need me to be WAY more responsible about this kind of role model shit than i am, but whatcha gonna do, right? and, so, my heart is still open and full of this guy, my bro's friend who is like family.

but i never got to cook the stuff for my dad again. i didn't and that is something my mind has a bit of a hard time processing, for all my self-investigationg, inner awareness and getting to a place of peace. i'm still the little girl inside looking up at her impossibly tall father and thinking he would live forever.

last night's celebration was wonderful, exhausting and i'm so tired, i can't sleep because of it. we celebrated a new day, friendship, life in general. sometimes you just need a party. for me, i celebrated this moment in history and wept for the fact that my father had not lived to see this. a man who admitted that the reason he didn't march with martin luther king, jr. was because "the first time someone threw a rock at a child, i'd kick their ass. not very good for the passivity movement, i'm afraid." and i know, now, my father would be so incredibly proud of his country, a country he and my mother taught me to believe in and in which i had lost belief. but i found it again, and i think, more than anything, that would make my father happy. that i found a way to believe again. cuz my dad loved me. and that matters to me.

food, how are you?

2008-08-26T23:28:00.004-05:00

i've been working out and eating right. i want to get in shape. i moved to the midwest and let myself go. a bit. and no one sees me. i mean, no one really sees, well, me. no one looks twice at me, no one notices who i am, no one really... even... cares. oh, my kids do. they love me and tell me wonderful things. i hope they know that. i hope they know how much i appreciate how beautiful they believe i am. even when i'm being hagatha. but it's only them. i can't remember when anyone, okay, a guy, told me i was beautiful or i looked nice or looked at me more than just in passing.

and i'm lonely. in a way that makes me stay up late at night (no matter how hard i've worked out, although my insomnia isn't quite as wretched since i've been working out as i have been). in a way that makes me want to uproot myself and my children, move to europe and cook amazing food while living in some bizarre stone home, learning a totally different language and allowing my hair to go wild, free and know why truffles really are so revered (okay, i already know that, but my brother would like to understand more). in a way that makes me wonder what the hell i'm doing with my life that i feel so lonely at a point in my life when all i should be worrying about is whether my kids are happy at school and i'm living my life to the fullest, as i had always hoped.

silly, isn't it? romantic fluff, especially after so long away from the blog that you all probably haven't checked back once. no worries. i write this more for myself than anything, because i suck at keeping journals. always have. and, quite frankly, now that i've determined no one really reads this, i've figured that i can say anything i want, as long as i bring it back to food, right?

and it's getting there.

i don't eat after 7 p.m. anymore. truly. not just a hopeful thing, but really. so if i get to 7 and i haven't had dinner yet, then i won't. that's how i roll these days. at this moment, i am so hungry, i could eat my bunny food -- oh, wait, i forgot to tell you. we got two incredibly gorgeous polish dwarf black bunnies at the state fair just a couple of weeks ago. so sweet -- Cocoa and Peanut -- two girls who are just the greatest loves. they live in bugsy's old castle and are dee-vine. but, anyway, back to food -- the hunger is dissipating, but the way i figure it, i'm 45+ and if i want a healthy lifestyle along with killer abs, i better damn well ignore hunger pangs at an hour that is way too icky for me and my body.

what has this to do with cooking, you're thinking. well, i'll tell you. i have begun creating recipes more than using those out of books. although, the other night, i made a killer shrimp and scallop curry to roll over and play dead for with a base of a cook book here. brandon even ate the rice (how cool is that) and the shrimp. brandon hates shrimp. he ate the rice, the shrimp and scallops. and smiled, asking for more. nicholas devoured the shrimp and rice, but didn't like the scallops. happens, but kept complimenting me on my cooking and how "great" i was... am. my sons love me. that means more than anything. except, late at night, when the dog takes over the bed, the bunnies are hopping about and i'm watching one too many romantic comedies for my own good. blech!

the exquisite delight in my dinner blew me away, but didn't take away the need for romance. i want romance. i want the dream. i don't believe in knights in shining armor, but i do believe in love. crazy, i know, but i do. and i believe in slow, languid meals in front of a fireplace, unrushed and full of exquisite passion. i believe in that shit.

marriage? not so much.
romance? a lot more.

so i cook, and i don't clean (suck at it, hoping to get better). i have no recipes tonight, no magical cookbook insights to share. what i have is a clarity on who i am. i'm a woman who loves to write, who loves to cook and who loves to feed others with both. and i don't know who to do that for in an intimate way. or, better still, i don't have anyone to do that for and, no, this is not a call to some weird arms for all those folks out there. it's just me saying what i feel. it's not a call for help. trust me. it's just a vent.

let me vent.

it'll come, i suppose, but, in the meantime, i'll play in the kitchen and with words. i'll walk in both worlds and see just how it feels to eat life and enjoy it without worry. i'll try that.

and forget, for awhile, that... well... it doesn't matter. not here.

we'll continue our journey through food and see where we go.
i quite like that.

Long Time Gone

2008-07-23T19:37:00.002-05:00

i have been changing. inside. searching for meaning inside of my kitchen. over the next three weeks, i shall be testing fantabulous cookie recipes to sell. to whom, i am unclear, but sell them i shall. and in my quest for cookie perfection, i realize i'm not much of a cookie person. in truth, i'm not much of a sweets person -- cakes, candy, donuts. not really my bag. however, i believe there is a way to finesse cookies and scones, actually. cakes as well. finesse them and make them marvelously delicious with a unique feel and taste.

there is beauty in desserts. mouthfuls of wonder. it can be done. by me? well, i don't know. but i'm willing to try.
my sons like the idea.
so that's cool with me.

Ode to Pizza

2008-06-05T08:09:00.007-05:00

i do not eat pizza. perhaps i have mentioned that in the past. it does not agree with me. arguments abound between me and the saucy, cheesy dreamboat of so many people's lives -- including my own son's -- but our quarrel runs deep, long and, unfortunately, has caused us to have quite the riff.

oh, i'll make it. from scratch even. but, for me, pizza has become one of those foods that if i buy it frozen and plop it in the oven for my beloved chilly-b boys, i'm cool with that. yep. you read right. i'm cool with frozen pizza (although i also keep homemade dough in the freezer, so go figure). i'm actually not as keen on the pre-packaged pizza bready dough-like stuff that you can fashion into a pizza. for some reason that just doesn't trip my culinary trigger, but i am all about the joys and wonders of pizza, i remember it, value it, i just don't give in to it, for the most part.

when we went to chicago, that changed. at least during the trip to chicago.

there are a few places that serve the kind of pizza that stick, forever, in my heart and bring back memories of lovely, cheesy glory that dance upon my tongue and across my senses. mario's restaurant in westwood, california (which, i do believe, is gone) was one of those, along with barones, jacopo's (which my brother informed me was closed down not that long ago -- the one we grew up with on the corner of beverly drive and little santa monica in beverly hills... i cried a little over that), valentino restaurant in venice, california (a fine dining italian spot that became a fave of ours as kids and whose pizza always makes me smile), harpo's in manhattan beach (this is a place that existed for a blip in time, but had been opened by two guys from chicago, so it was chicago style pizza with this really lovely cornmeal infused crust and delicious toppings... fillings... whatever -- one of the guys also owned the manhattan beach health club for men at which i was the morning receptionist and from where i was summarily fired one late winter day, but that's a whole other story), ray's pizza in new york (and don't ask me which one, cuz they're on every freakin' street corner), this killer place my sister-in-law and, when he wasn't working, brother would invade during a stint in queensland, australia -- i would get their seafood pizza that had clams and squid on it. trust me, it was amazing just as the fresh out of the fryer and dusted with cinnamon sugar donuts we would get at this little shop in sanctuary cove, where my bro and sis-in-law and beloved jordman were living at the time (this is all pre-rachel, although rachel was certainly making a statement in my sister-in-law's ever expanding belly). kathy moriarty's place in beverly hills -- i think it's called bronx pizza where you can buy slices and it's awesome.

i now add to this list Giordano's Pizzeria in Chicago, Illinois. O... M... G. thank you, dan, and stacey for talking it up and convincing me, yes, it is worth putting aside your pizza phobia and diving in.

brandon, as you know, could live on pizza alone and be very happy. perhaps not healthy, but happy. he is well aware of chicago style pizza. we have eaten it not only here in the midwest, but also in los angeles. when he learned we would be taking a trip there, he made a point of telling me he wanted to eat pizza there and i promised him i would eat it with him (mentally shaking in my boots the whole time). and, so, i pile nicholas -- whose elementary school graduation we were celebrating with this trip -- and brandon into the tiny, gas efficient rented car, way too many distractions to really fit in this car, and make the trek to the outskirts of the windy city, Schaumberg. this is where medieval times resides, it is the attraction we were focused on for nicholas' sake -- he's a romantic, knights in shining armor kinda guy -- with every intention of making our way into the city for a day of adventure and pizza.

i won't bore you about the drive from schaumberg into chicago, because it will bore and not surprise you. fluffin' crazy, let's just say. but let me share our giordano experience, shall i?

we arrive at the pizzeria amidst a tornado warning. yep. we get there at a time pre-rush hour, which makes life VERY comfortable. we sit and look at the selections, feel the vibe of this serious chicago tradition and relax into it. after conferring with my pal, stacey, before we left for chicago, i pass along information to both nicholas and brandon that i hope will make our lives easier -- the pizza at this place is dense, full of yum and deceiving. do not buy more than you can chew. normally, curbing my sons' portions would send them into a semi-tizzy. however, as they watch the pizza go by our table and because they both adore and trust stacey, they believe me. so, we order two small, "individual" pizzas for our table -- brandon gets one with cheese, pepperoni and onions; i order one with cheese, shrimp and spinach for me and nicholas. we also get a chicken caesar salad for us all to share and nicholas orders lasagna.

the pizza came and we just sort of looked at it for a moment. no way was i gonna be able to make it through one piece, let alone the whole thing. brandon realizes the same thing, but he doesn't want to tell ME that. he grabs a slice or a deep, luscious, decadent piece, takes one fork filled bite -- yep, my son realized no way was he gonna be able to eat this just with his hands -- and stares at me. oh, man. he's in heaven. then i do the same and, truly, i was transported. this is what pizza should be -- delicious, cheesy without being TOO cheesy, saucy, tangy spicy and hot. the crust was firm, soft, crispy all at once, lovely flavor and the shrimp/spinach combo was a hit. i ate a half a piece, nicholas ate the other half then we sat back and looked at the two pizzas, realizing that the one piece each we took out of them made barely a dent and we have plenty of leftovers to take on our trip back and still have some at home. we are in heaven.

oh, i paid for it later. trust me. my stomach did back flips, forward tumbles and called the fire department. but it didn't matter. Giordano's made our day and we still talk about it. as i said, this was not our first foray into chicago style pizza. there's a place here in town that the kids like quite a bit and i'm sure it's lovely. but it's not giordano's and no amount of big eyed begging from my delightful children will get me to put the dreaded demon pizza into my mouth.

but invite me to giordano's again and i am so all about it. i'd even order my very own.

Touring Italy and Feeling Fine

2008-05-27T18:50:00.003-05:00

we've moved into italy. yep, we made it through japan (although, trust me, we'll be back), but we are now traveling culinarily (is that a word?) through the italian countryside. i've got about ten million books (not really, but whatever) on italian cooking from pretty much every region in my house not including the shit i have amassed in my cooking mags and i figure i could cook only italian for the rest of my life and not duplicate a recipe. florence, here i come!

i love to cook. yes. i know you know. sorry to bug you again about it. however, i do truly adore it. there is this sensuous, luscious, rich sense of delicious wonder that accompanies me through my travels in the kitchen that makes me swoon sometimes over whatever mess i'm putting together on the stove. i don't claim that all are successes (k'yeah... no), but i do claim that in my heart all are worthy of living forever in my memory. even if it's to remind me why i should ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, NEVER, EVER TRY IT AGAIN THAT WAY AS LONG AS I LIVE. no big.

i know... blah, blah, blah whatever. i'm cool with that. but, just so's ya know, i wouldn't be able to face the day sometimes if i didn't know i was going to create in the kitchen at the end of it. no shit. i like being here, learning, testing, risking with food. i like losing myself to the mastery of the stove, the control of the fridge and the call of the mixer. think what you will, but i belong to the world of the epicure.

we began in chicken cacciatore, also known as hunter's chicken. i will not bore you with the recipe, because this rustic, country dish is really left to interpretation more than anything. good olive oil, organic chicken, excellent peppers and mushrooms and beautiful tomatoes and garlic, and you've got it made. i served it with some creamy polenta mixed with mellow ricotta and sharp parmesan (ah, my love), fresh pepper, skim milk and we were happy. oh, and some really lovely red seedless grapes. yum. my sons went mad. nicholas, interestingly enough, did not like the polenta, but brandon freaked for the whole dish and beamed at me all night.

nice to see my sons are willing to appreciate italian food that has nothing to do with spaghetti or pizza.

then, as you will see, we made some of the best yummies ever. tuscan pork ribs (or as brandon calls them, ITPR -- ITALIAN TUSCAN PORK RIBS), Garlic Broccoli and Whole Wheat Spaghetti with homemade marinara. we chose from our cookbook THE ITALIAN COUNTRY TABLE: Home Cooking from Italy's Farmhouse Kitchens by Lynne Rossetto Kasper. you've seen me talk about this before. it's the book with that killer front cover with the canellinis, crumbled parmesan, julienned soppresata and more in a wooden bowl. yeah, i dream of it.
not all the time, but enough, 'kay?

so here's the deal with our ITPR:

INGREDIENTS:
4 lrg garlic cloves
2 tightly packed tablespoons fresh rosemary leaves
1 tsp xtra virgin olive oil
3.5 pounds country-style pork ribs (if possible, hormone and antibiotic free), 1 to 2-inches thick
about 3/4 tsp.salt
freshly ground black pepper

what to do:

1. first of all, i'm writing this to you without the cookbook in front of me, but i remember it, so here goes. you take all that yummy stuff and put it into a bowl with your ribs or into a ziploc, mesh them all together and refrigerate for 12 to 24 hours -- overnight'll do it.
2. heat that oven to 325ºF and place the ribs on a rack over a shallow baking pan and bake for as long as it takes (like how i'm remembering all of this so well?) you want them to be nice and juicy, not dry and overtly wooden like the pork chops of old. since what you want is a nice crusty on these guys, turn your broiler on for the last about 15 minutes of your little baking adventure and let them brown.

serve with smiling joy.

we loved these. nicholas and brandon couldn't get enough of them, so i'm going to make them again. taking this trip through italy is kinda nice, relaxed and tasty. we have yet to succumb to the pasta as main course meal that so easily could be done, however, we will probably try something rather unique with that this weekend.

i'll keep you posted.
i promise.

Walla Walla and the Big, Badass Grape

2008-05-20T22:06:00.003-05:00

today, tonight, i went to my first wine tasting. before you say "no way!", let me assure you it is true. i learned how to taste wine from my dad and i trust my palate enough to be willing to say "ick" or "yay!" to a wine, but i have never, in my life, gone to a formal wine tasting. i've been to nappa, sonoma and australia, all good places for good vino, but, as i said before, never to a wine tasting.

there's this place here in town called CELLAR RAT. cute name, cool place, a place i got into by chance when looking for a really good bottle of scotch as an office gift for my very deserving manager. i walked in there and was enchanted. i love good wine stores. really love them. i like reading the taste notes, talking to the sommelier (my dad used to be one, so i think that's why i have a deep affection for them), and purchasing labels that intrigue me. because of my walking into this wine store and getting seduced by it, i signed up for what they call a reserve list, get little updates from them every week about the WOW (wine of the week at a killer price) and, also, little inside scoops about wines that are limited and needing maturity or way out of my price range. so, what did i do? or do i do? i go, i buy and, something i have never done before, put the wines in my basement to mature. yep, you read right. i'm maturing wines in my basement. on top of towels, leaning a tad forward so the wine stays in contact with the cork (cuz the guys at CELLAR RAT told me to) and resting there for the next, oh, five or so years... maybe even more.

last week, i got an e-mail from CELLAR RAT giving me a nudge that a washington state winemaker, nicknamed "merf" (no, not SMERF, but MERF), will be coming into the town, will be at CELLAR RAT and the first 15 folks to respond could get in. it was a private tasting for the reserve crew (of whom, i keep forgetting, i am one) and they wanted to know if i wanted to come. it took me a good half hour of focused consideration to decide whether i was going to this. it's one of those things that kind of has me giggle like a little girl when i imagine myself actually doing it. i am VERY chi-chi, poo-poo lala in my tastes when it comes to this kind of thing and i am intrigued by it, but it was also one of those things that kind of needs someone to share it with. i'm at a point in my life where i am looking at my life and wondering how i got here, in a way. how i got to be the age i am without any significant other besides my kids. and, sometimes, i am lonely. and, sometimes, i am sad, because of it. i am here in a town that still feels almost as strange as it did the day we landed at the airport to move here and i do have two children i need to spend more time with even in the best of times (these are not the best of times) and, well... i'm complaining. i need to move my rubber "complain reminder" bracelet from one wrist to the other. sorry.

what has that got to do with going to a frigging wine tasting? well, as i said about a lot of times up at the top, i've never been to a wine tasting, let alone a chi-chi, poo-poo lala private one and i took this major leap by emailing back to them telling them i wanted to be there. i pressed send and sat back in my chair wondering where i got this courage to jump into this shit without really knowing what i was doing. they said in the email that i would hear within 24 hours. when i didn't, i felt a bit of relief, because it meant i hadn't gotten my name in there in time which meant i could save myself from doing something that terrified me. i'll explain why in a second.

i got a response on friday letting me know that we were on and to be there at six o'clock. my heart raced and i responded "great!" then had the whole weekend to freak out about it. i was terrified because i knew that i was going to be walking into a room with people who absolutely knew what they were doing, would be chatting about "the nose..." and "the acid..." and talking up tannins like nobody's business. i know the general idea of tastings -- you swirl, shove your nose deep into the glass and sniff, sip and roll a little air over the wine to get a sense of its flavor, let it bloom in your mouth, fill you, swallow, do it again a couple o' times, then dump the sucker into the cute bucket in the middle of the table (or there should be a bucket, but what if i was wrong?). you're not supposed to drink the entire taste of each glass, cuz then you're getting drunk and not really tasting anymore -- not only that, we had a shit load of wines we were tasting and while i'm just as happy to have a buzz on as anybody, i'm not a philistine, ya know, and, like i said, i'm into this fa-la-la-la-la fancy stuff. i like being poised and studious and elegant in these settings. i didn't say i am those things, i just said i like to be them. people have told me i am, i hope i am, but what do i know? i'm not looking at me from the outside. my concern was i'd do something incredibly stupid and out myself as the novice i am.

i think a lot of my friends would be shocked to discover my trepidation and shivery wierdness as i prepared to surmount this challenge of the grape. i also have never had raw oysters, sitting at the bar at sushi restaurants intimidates me and i am always prepared to fail at making a really good turkey whenever i cook one. whew! that feels better getting that off my chest, so let's move on. i had a blast. a sedate, well-bred, demure and pricey blast, but a blast nonetheless. i was alone, i didn't know anyone and i decided the best thing to do was to just sit, listen and learn. and, as i had played around with at home and learned, the whole "swirl, shove, sniff, sip, sense, swallow" thing was correct. i was blown away a bit by how many of these guys (i was one of two women in the room and the other one was a chick who had come with her boyfriend/guy and wasn't tasting, just finishing his when he handed it to her) finished their glasses. when i got in the room and saw these sheets of paper with the various wines on them and a pen to write notes with, i was instantly worried i was about to be graded. yeah, don't laugh, but i was. and, of course, i wasn't. by the end of the tasting, i was writing stuff down that felt real, right and very involving.

but, truly, i went through the most extraordinary gamut of emotions you could imagine. i couldn't figure out where to sit where i wouldn't be called out for any reason. i was worried they would go around the table and ask you to define exactly what it was about the wine that appealed or didn't appeal to you. i was worried i would spill the wine, knock over the water, fart loudly, burp wetly, snort laughter or talk when i should listen. i did what i thought would be best. i just let it wash over me and not worry about it... after the first 30 minutes in the wine shop, that is, because the tasting was really at 6:30, not 6:00 and the time was misquoted. well, i take that back. i was worried about it for the first 10 minutes as i wandered the place, gazing at labels of wines, liquors, high end beers until i looked up and saw two people i really, really like -- sergio and emily -- and we began chatting. and, ya know, talking to them mellowed me out. it made me feel good about being there. not just good that i was going to be tasting some yummy wines, but good about myself for overcoming my own personal hurdle. i was proud i showed up proud i didn't rush home and hide (like i thought about doing). i was glad i had done this for myself. it makes me look forward to what other leap i might make.

i bought a few bottles. which will, once again, go onto a bunch of towels and into my basement. one day, i'll buy a wine storage thing, since i appear to be really into this collecting shit. but, for now, i'll just prop them up, take a deep breath, and figure out what other gourmet magazine, conde nast lifestyle actions i can take to enhance my chi-chi, poo-poo lala image.

i'll send you an announcement when i know.

Feeding the Soul

2008-05-18T20:51:00.002-05:00

and so the weekend began and i had two boys who really needed more than just another "i'm on a mission and, therefore, thou shalt deal with it." ya know, being a kid is freakin' hard. i remember those days and wouldn't go back if you paid me. and i mean, serious dough. cuz, kid-dom is confusing and out of control and i don't think there are any tools on the planet that could make it all work out without copious amounts of tears and pimples (although, in the pimple area, i was really lucky -- no major vast breakouts, just the really juicy one bump in the middle of my forehead or right in the middle of my chin... nice). there was this football camp that i submitted my sons for without them knowing just in case they didn't get in. it is a free camp to the first 1000 applicants and headed by herm edwards, head coach of the KC chiefs football team. it's one of those chance of a lifetime kinda things and i figured if they didn't get in, if they didn't know about it in the first place it wouldn't be horrible. well, i got word that my older son got in, but not my younger. bummer. however, late on friday, right before the weekend began, i found out that, yep, brandon did get in and just to bring him with nicholas to the camp and all would be well. so i figured the right thing to do would be to make them a dinner that evening -- saturday, their first day of the camp which was full-on football on the chiefs' practice field with 998 other kids for 6 hours plus a break for lunch -- that would really give them strength, energy and be healthy. my choice? lean steaks, baked potatoes and salad. easy. oh, and a splurge on dessert at cold stone creamery (which is tres yum, but so rich, i can eat, maybe, two bites, and i'm completely done in -- and, no, it's not because i'm a rail and i'm really good about my food. it's because i'm a 45+ year old woman who has, for as long as i can remember, had this horrible stomach issue with really rich foods that i need to pay attention to). okay, enough about that shit and on to what i was really talking about -- a good steak, baked potatoes and salad. that was for saturday. for sunday, this evening, i splurged on good yellowtail steaks for the protein. the kids really like it and i wanted to offset the beef with something from the sea. here's what i did and ANY-ONE can do it. really. honest. i'm not just making that up.

LINDA'S STEAK
ingredients:
2-12 oz rib eyes -- nicely marbled, but not overly fatty
garlic powder
fresh ground pepper
ground cumin
ground coriander
season salt
1 tbs. olive oil (really good olive oil)

what to do:
1. if you've had the steaks in the fridge, take them out about 1 hour before you plan to cook them and have them come to room temp. then, sprinkle the seasonings liberally (but not scary liberal -- for example, think 1/4 tsp of garlic powder, fresh ground pepper, cumin and coriander and 1/2 tsp season salt per steak per side. if that freaks you out, then start even smaller and season it heavier, if you wish, next time). massage the seasonings into the steaks, each side, gently and thoroughly then set aside to rest in the dry rub for about 1/2 hour to 1 hour.
2. when you're at the end of your marinating time, take a 12" skillet/saute pan (NOT NON-STICK, if you can help it) and heat it on medium to medium high, depending on your stove, for 30 seconds. add the olive oil and swirl around the bottom of the pan to coat. do not let it come to smoking. if it does. turn it off, wipe it out and start again. let heat up for about 10 seconds or until a drop of water sizzles (or dances, i like to think) across the surface.
3. when the skillet/saute pan is hot enough, put in the steak and sear it for about 5 minutes on one side. a crust will form then turn it over and sear it on the other side, about five minutes (six or seven, if you're more the medium kinda person). at this point, you can take the steak out and deglaze the pan with either some really good red wine (a nice pinot or a malbec could be nice here -- but make sure it's really good wine, if you can) or some earthy beef broth -- organic would work or some homemade which would be WAAAY better, as you know. let the sauce reduce to a sort of glaze and take off the flame. what we did, though, was to brush each side quickly with barbecue sauce just as they were coming out of the pan and let them rest, searing hot, on a plate with the sauce caramelizing naturally in the residual heat. the boys went NUTS for it and didn't even need any extra sauce at all for the steak. gotta love that.
4. serve the steaks whole with the sauce in a little dish beside it and the baked potatoes and some salad. simple, easy and way yum, if you're into steaks.

as for the yellowtail, this is what we did:
IN THE PINK YELLOWTAIL
ingredients:
3 yellowtail filets
ground ginger
five spice powder
fresh ground pepper
kosher salt
ponzu sauce
black sesame seeds
toasted white sesame seeds
sesame oil
canola oil
1 garlic clove, pressed
sake
granualted sugar
brown sugar
ground cinnamon

what to do:
1. sprinkle the first four ingredients onto the filets, both sides, generously, but just about two hearty pinches of the salt on both sides. not too much. set them aside to rest for about 15 minutes.
2. heat a 12" skillet/saute pan over medium to medium high heat (depending on your stove) for about 30 seconds then add 1 tbs canola oil and 1/2 tbs sesame oil (preferably toasted). heat for about 10 seconds or until a drop of water sizzles and dances across the surface.
3. sprinkle the marinated tuna with some ponzu sauce on both side (about 2 tsp. worth) then sprinkle the sesame seeds until they cover each side GENEROUSLY, like a crust, and place the tuna in the hot pan, searing it for 3 to 4 minutes on each side, then taking them out and placing to the side.
4. let them rest for at least 5 minutes, then cut against the grain and place atop a bed of white or brown or (even yummier) black rice. now, as for the last four ingredients, here's whatcha do:
mix together about 1 tbs sugar, 1 tbs brown sugar, 1/4 tsp cinnamon in a small bowl. take some sake and deglaze your pan, get up all the yummy bits then sprinkle in the sugar mixture and stir. you can serve this on the side of the tuna in a dipping bowl. taste to see if it needs some acid -- a squeeze of lime or lemon, even some rice vinegar -- add it to taste and serve.

okay, so i'm writing this and thinking "these guys probably don't give a rat's ass about my own personal recipes", but it's fun to put them down. i do have some that are super top secret i will never share here, but you may not care, so that's cool. there may be no one out there even looking at any of this anyway, and that's cool, too. because, sometimes, it just helps to send stuff out into the black, into the great unknown, because you have to. because, sometimes, our hearts are so wanting that we need to write it out of us. i always sucked at journal writing, but this blog thing, well, i don't have to hold it for me to read ages from now and realize i haven't moved an inch. i can set it out, set it free, and not even think about it later. or, well, not have to feel alone in it.

whoa, deep for a food discussion, isn't it? but, i guess, the food we create, or, better yet, i create, which i put my soul into genuinely holds my heart and represents who i am, inside, on any given day. like a poem or a painting. my food is the artistic gift i give to the ones i love most. my people and, yes, my dog, because i make her dog treats, not buy them. and when they smile at me (even my dog) or say it's good, it makes me feel worthy of their love. so stupid, right?
but, perhaps, just the same desire we all have. to not only matter, but feel we have earned that consideration of self.
perhaps not.
whatever.

If Not For The Spirit Of The Gyoza...

2008-05-15T20:40:00.002-05:00

gyoza. little pockets of steamed and fried (or fried then steamed, to be completely technical about it) yum courtesy of the japanese. they really are nice, compact tidbits of morsels meant to tempt the tastebuds and just get you in the mood for hot sake and more good food. this is definitely a communal kind of food, dim sum in nature but with the delicacy of japanese food. which, quite frankly, can be something of a myth because i've made some of the heartiest shit out of my LET'S COOK JAPANESE! cookbook than i ever have out of my chinese ones. like (SOOOOOO good) SUMO WRESTLER'S STEW, which i will regale you with another time and deep fried, panko encrusted burgers. yes, i just wrote deep fried hamburgers and it's japanese street food. REALLY, REALLY GOOD! when you come over, we can have some...

but back to the gyoza. i have, as you know, been on this cooking jag. can't seem to stop. that's cool. so, tonight, while nicholas was out with adam (his tres cool big bro) and brandon was just hangin', watching this show called FUNNY PEOPLE AND PETS (or some shit like that -- it's a canned laughter, voiceovered version of AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS which, to me, never needed cheeseball host BOB SAGET or any human for that matter. they could have put a pig on a stool to host that show and it would've worked just fine... in my opinion) waiting for leftover chinese spareribs to finish heating up, i made some gyoza just to have around. i made enough to feed us for quite awhile and i even froze some of the uncooked ones for us to make at another time. i've gotten big on making something, freezing it for later so that when i get home i don't have to take so long to get dinner on the table and the kids can eat before a certain time. i mean, i was trying to be REALLY good about having them eat before 7pm and i did very well for awhile there, but, ya know, life got in the way, i got in the way, my inability to keep organized got in the way and, before you knew it, they were eating at 7:30ish,8, in there. we don't live in spain, there is no siesta, so i'm trying to keep us off of the overweight and flabby list as best i can (which, if you were to see my upper arms, you'd laugh at me and say, "yeah, good luck with that, she of the swinging triceps.") and, so, out came my book, the ingredients for this yummy dish that is, interestingly enough, really easy to make.

okay, now, i just said this is really easy to make and i need to qualify that, because i have friends who will say to me when i speak like that, "let's be clear here, is this recipe LINDA easy or EVERYBODY easy?" since i don't see myself as some sort of culinary genius and just as interested in a good, easily understood and easy to create recipe as my sons would be, when i say easy i figure that's the "general you" easy not the "chef me" easy. however, i have been told that when i say easy, i mean the "chef me" easy, so you'll have to judge for yourself and let me know what you think i mean when i say easy.
can you tell i'm a little edgy tonight?
i really need a vacation.
but, back to food:

GYOZA (panfried dumplings)
ingredients:
1/2 pound napa or green head cabbage, shredded then finely chopped and squeezed between paper towels to remove all moisture
3/4 pound ground pork
2 green onions, including tender green tops, minced
3 fresh shiitake mushrooms, stems discarded and caps minced
1/2 bunch fresh chives, minced
1 tsp peeled and grated fresh ginger
1 tsp. minced garlic
1 tbs sesame oil
1 tbs sake
1 tsp soy sauce
About 50 round gyoza or other Asian dumpling wrappers, each about 3" in diameter (thinnest you can find)
1 tbs canola or other neutral oil and 1 tbs sesame oil for cooking each batch
2 tbs water for cooking each batch

dipping sauce:
soy sauce
rice vinegar
hot chili oil

what to do:
1. make the filling -- put the cabbage, pork, green onions, mushrooms, chives, ginger, garlic, sesame oil, sake, and soy sauce into a big bowl. using your hands, mix it together thoroughly, until just combined, but don't handle the filling too much.
2. place the stack of wrappers on a work surface and keep them covered with a clean, damp kitchen towel or paper towel to prevent them from drying out. holding a wrapper on the palm of one hand, place about 1 tsp of filling in the center of the wrapper. with a fingertip, swipe one-half of the edge of the wrapper with a little water, then fold over the other edge to meet the dampened edge then enclose the filling and pinch the seal securely. with your finers, make 3 or 4 evenly spaced pleats along the sealed edge and place the dumpling, flat side down (the side opposite the pleats) on a sheet of waxed paper. Repeat until all the filling has been used. You can freeze the filled dumplings at this point, just place them on a rimmed baking sheet, put them in the freezer and once they're frozen you can put them into a zippered plastic bag and they'll last for 1 month. you can cook them directly from the reezer, allowing just a few minutes longer cooking time when the pan is covered.
3. to cook the dumplings, heat a frying pan over high heat and when the pan is hot, add the oils, swirl to coat the bottom of the pan and allow them to heat. when a drop of water flicked into the pan sizzles instantly, arrange about 12 dumplings in teh pan, lining them up neatly and placing them flat side down and pleated edge up. cook undisturbed until the bottoms are lightly browned, about 3 minutes. add the water, then immediately cover the pan, reduce the heat to medium-high, and cook for 5 minutes. uncover and cook for a few minutes longer until all the water has evaporated and the dumplings are dark brown and a little crusty on the bottom.
4. to serve, slide a spatula under the dumplings, being careful not to tear the wrappers, and flip them browned-side up onto a large plate or platter, still lined up.
5. for the dipping sauce, set out containers of the soy sauce, vinegar, and hot chili oil. provide each diner with a small dipping bowl to assemble a dip to taste.

what we did:
we didn't have the chives, so i used some great bean sprouts i picked up at an asian market near me. i cooked about 24 of the dumplings and froze the rest of them. besides the chives, we kept everything the same. nicholas got home, tasted one, wanted another then asked for them for tomorrow's lunch. brandon helped me fill them and wants to try them for dinner tomorrow, which blew my mind. this kid will broaden his food horizons yet.

and so these little bits of enjoyment were created for us. i tasted one and it had this crunchy tender savory taste to it that was subtle and wonderful. simple. i know the "what to do" looks complicated, but it's really not. and i do believe i'm saying that from the "general you" standpoint, not the "chef linda" view. but, ya know, maybe i'm completely deluded and a total bonehead. or, maybe just maybe, i believe there's a chef in all of us, if we just give it a chance.
am i really that polyanna?
fuck if i know.

Crab Bonanza

2008-05-14T20:25:00.003-05:00

okey, doke, so here's the deal -- i love saveur magazine. truly. it's yum, fun and very cool. i also love crabs TONS. crazy love them. so imagine my absolute total delight when i got my most recent copy of the mag and it had crabs on the cover. and not just any crab, but vietnamese based crab with really flavorful dipping sauces, soups, dishes of all kinds. whoa. i open the magazine and there, like a dream -- because of my total adoration of asian food -- is a killer recipe for these intense, seafood filled spring rolls that i can't wait to get my hands on. if i could cook all day right now, i so would.

anyway, i put together my shopping list for the crab spring rolls then stop, look at the recipe again... and again... and again... and, yep, i'm reading what i'm reading, but something inside tells me there's something up. take a look at the recipe and see for yourself and we'll chat it up about it afterwards.

here goes:
CHA GIO CUA (Crab Spring Rolls)
Ingredients:
4 lb. backfin crabmeat (small chunks from the rear fin area), picked through to remove any bits of shell
4 lb. medium shrimp, finely chopped
3 oz. ground pork
2 cloves garlic, finely chpped
2 tbsp. grated carrot (use the large-holed side of a box grater)
1/4 tsp. kosher salt
1/4 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
2 large shallots, finely chopped
12 8" square spring roll wrappers
1 oz. bun (vietnamese rice vermicelli), cooked in boiling water for 2-3 minutes then drained and rinsed thoroughly with cold water
1 egg white, beaten
corn oil for frying
12 bibb lettuce leaves, for garnish
12 sprigs Thai basil, for garnish
12 purple perilla leaves (called tia to) for garnish (optional)
Nuoc cham (recipe to follow)

what to do:
1. stir together crabmeat, shrimp, pork, garlic, carrots, salt, pepper and shallots; set filling aside.
2. make rolls: working with 1 wrapper at a time and keeping the remaining wrappers covered with a damp towel) arrange the wrapper so that a corner faces you. Place 2 tbs crap mixture and 1 tbs vermicelli on bottom third of wrapper, near corner facing you. brush toop corner with a little egg white. lift bottom corner of wrapper over filling; pull wrapper back against filling to tighten cylinder. fold in sides; roll cylinder forward, to form a 4"-long roll about 1" thick. transfer to a platter.
3. pour oil into a large pot to a depth of 2"; heat ove medium heat until a deep-fry thermometer inserted into oil reaches 350º. fry rolls until golden brown and cooked through, about 5 minutes. using tongs, transfer rolls to a paper towel-lined plate. to serve, wrap lettuce, basi, and perilla around rolls; serve with nuoc cham.

NUOC CHAM
Ingredients:
1 tbs sugar
2 cloves garlic
1 stemmed thai chile
3 tbs sugar
1 cup warm water
4 tbs fish sauce
2 tbs fresh lime juice
1 small stemmed thai chile, sliced into thin rings
1/8 cup julienned carrot

what to do:
1. place the 1 tbs sugar, the garlic and the 1 stemmed thai chile on a cutting board and roughly chop everything together. using the side of the knife, scrape the garlic-chile mixture into a rough paste.
2. transfer the paste to a medium bowl and whisk in the remaining 3 tbs sugar and the water until the sugar dissolves. this will take about 30 seconds.
3. whisk in the fish sauce, lime juice, thai chile rings and the carrot.
4. let the sauce sit at room temp for at least 30 minutes to allow the flavors to come together. stir well before serving. the sauce will keep for up to 2 weeks in the fridge.

what we did and what is wrong with this picture:
first of all, this was something i wanted to take to work today and one of my work mates doesn't eat pork or beef, so i switched out the ground pork for chicken. HOWEVER, did you read the ingredients for the spring rolls and did you notice that to make 12 spring rolls on 8"square wrappers using only 2 tbs of the crab and shrimp filling that i was told to prep 8 pounds, total, of seafood? let me repeat that, 8 FREAKIN' POUNDS OF SEAFOOD TOTAL. k'yeah, i was a little flummoxed, but saveur had never let me down before and i certainly trusted they wouldn't let me down now.
HA!
i think what they meant to put down was 1/4 pound of crab, 1/4 pound of shrimp. instead, i went out and got the 8 pounds it told me to and i now have over 7 pounds of egg roll filling in my fridge.

don't get me wrong, these suckers came out really well. however, i do have quite the leftover spread to deal with. hell, even brandon liked the things and that's a big deal.

i have all this filling in my fridge and all i can think of is some sort of amazing hot pot or instead of shrimp toasts it could be seafood toasts and... ARGH! i can't let this stuff go bad (i'm sure you have some idea of how expensive 8 pounds of shellfish is), so i'm gonna cook this and send my grocery bill to saveur...
just kidding...
or
am
i?

I'm BACK... Like you care... tee hee

2008-05-08T18:40:00.002-05:00

yeah, i've been gone for quite awhile. i know, but i'm back with a vengeance. i've been feeling a little under the weather -- mostly emotionally, but i won't bore you with all that bullshit -- but cooking up a storm still. it's funny when you get inundated with life in ways you'd forgotten. i suppose there are these moments when i look up and realize i live in the middle of the country, far away from my family and some of my best friends, missing a life that i thought i was leaving for the betterment of me and my chilly-bs only to discover that, perhaps, i need to do more soul searching than i would like to find out what it is i REALLY want out of my time on earth. i know what you're thinking "um, thanks, but what about food?" let me wax rhapsodic for a minute, if ya don't mind, and i'll get to the grub, because there's a point to all of this. really.

for me, as you've discovered, food has a sort of mystical, magical artistic pull that helps me lose myself for awhile in its wonder. i can go all over the world through my cooking and disappear for hours in my mind by just putting together an elaborate, well thought out meal that will transport others when they taste it. that's one of the beauties of cooking for me. the way it can create a whole environment, mood, totally sensual experience from one bite (good or bad, right?). i've traveled all through asia these last weeks, because i've been devoting myself to japanese home cooking and asian fare with a vengeance. my sons have been kind enough to roll with it and let me indulge that part of myself in the kitchen, but my writing is suffering because of my flibbertigibbetness and that just won't do. i must get myself back in front of my blank screen or blank piece of paper and write some of this stuff out of me -- it's funny, because it's just bubbling inside of me like a wild geyser of creativity and is bouncing off the walls of my mind, so you'd think i'd be writing all the time, wouldn't you? it's not writer's block that has me frozen, it's the distinct LACK of writer's block, the shear volume of shit in my mind that needs to get down on the page that has me intimidated and freaked. and, so, i cook. a lot. tons and as often as i can get myself into the kitchen. k'yeah. if i could sell some of this shit, i'd be making a nice little bit of side dough (no pun intended, people).

and, so, food, cooking, creating in the kitchen has been all consuming in a way i hadn't know i was capable of doing. oh, sure, i made a commitment to cook out of one cookbook a night and now i've even upped the stakes by choosing one cookbook to focus on exclusively for one month -- we're on that killer Japanese home-cooking book i told you guys about before, LET'S COOK JAPANESE! and it's been AWESOME! -- but there's something about this getting in the kitchen and making things happen that has taken me over in a way that sorta baffles me. NOT cooking makes me antsy. going to restaurants is SO not what i like to do anymore and i enjoy going out to eat, hang, just enjoy life beyond my four walls. so, am i becoming a weird recluse? a cat lady without the cats? are cats next? will i be found under a mound of cookbooks, holding a wooden spoon and mumbling "bouillabaisse? bouillabaisse?" i don't know. i only know that there's a comfort for me these days as i chop, season, marinate then cook. a kind of release that overtakes me and makes me feel everything might just be all right.

i don't have any recipes today. oh, i will, maybe even later, but for now this is just my return to the world of the blog and a sharing of what cooking has become for me -- a sense of self and self-preservation. who knew testing whether my oil is hot enough by watching oils float up from a submerged chopstick could calm me down enough to make me feel like i can face the day?

hmm...

Finding Silver Linings

2008-02-18T18:28:00.002-06:00

february is one of my favorite months for the simple fact that my older son, nicholas, was born in that month. he's adorable and loving, sweet and warm and starting to go through another round of testing for developmental purposes. he's such a squoosh that it breaks my heart in every possible way that this hurdle of autism or asperger's is part of his life. it's only a hurdle if i make it one, yeah, i know, but late at night, when i'm alone, i think about his life and how difficult it may be for him and i cry. yep. i do. sorry. but i do.

anywho, this month has been the most bittersweet i've had in a bit of awhile. we've had our bunny pass away -- late january, but leading us into february -- and a guinea pig i just bought for my beloved nicholas died in my arms on sunday. a lot of other stuff has come up as well that would bore you to tears, i'm sure, so i won't even go there, but suffice it to say (ooh, nice phrase) this month has been a challenge. and so, what to do? sunday, i was planning to have a friend come by to do a little cooking lesson with her. i was so excited, all i could to was think how cool it would be to be able to do this for people ALL THE TIME. cook for them, cook WITH them, and really indulge that culinary fiend inside of me. it was great prepping for all of it until i woke up, looked out of my window and saw it not just snowing, but SNOWING. my friend called me to let me know she was on the fence about coming by, which totally made sense, then later called to tell me, um, yeah, not gonna happen. we made plans for next weekend (or this coming weekend) and here i was with a bunch of food i would now make for my sons.

we used to do sunday cooking lesson every single weekend. we haven't done that in some time. so, i figured, hey, i'm prepped, why not?

omg...

if everyday was like this day of our cooking, i would give up everything i owned so i could be able to replicate it or pursue it or move into it. even if it sucked one day, i would still do it. nicholas and brandon hung in the kitchen with me for three hours, no joke. we made our marinade to marinate our beef, our dressing to dress our salad, baked our lemon cake, made our rice for fried rice, and cooked, and cooked, and talked, and chopped, and my sons made everything themselves. they were the executive chefs and i was their sous chef. and being their second in command (although i handed out the recipes and spoke direction, showing things here and there) was amazing.

i loved doing this with them. i loved watching them laugh and find joy in cooking with their hearts and souls. i loved spending my afternoon with them, completely in their presence, seeing them goof off and throw flour and eat too much batter and play swords with spatulas. i love seeing my delightful monet nuance his way through his food in nicholas and my passionate picasso chop and stir with abandon in brandon. and, most of all, when i stopped and sighed, saying, "i wish i could take us to europe so we could do a cooking tour through all the amazing countries we love -- france, italy, spain and on to asia", i loved it when they both said, "well, why can't we? that would be great." i love that they have adventure in their souls, not just for food, but for life. it's heartening.

i'm not the best mom. i know that. but my kids?
they're the best kids.
through all the bittersweet weirdness this february has brought us, through all the not listening and clothes left on the floor, the bottom line is, there's no one else i will ever love as much as these two people.
and that's al right with me.
that's completely fantabulous.

Homemade with Style

2008-02-05T09:14:00.001-06:00

sorry i've been gone so long. we've been having one crazy time over here, but, as always, we've been cooking out of control. and we've gotten very homemade with everything. ah, what fun it is to create, from scratch, stuff you used to just buy in a jar. that's right. i have bought many things in jars, even though i eschew pre-packaged food NOW. let's get real. when i was a starving college dropout, i lived on Top Ramen and Chef Boyardee. i remember when i was little and those rare occasions i would be allowed to eat the Chef and Franco American Spaghettios (the ones with the baby hot dogs were my faves -- go figure). i would lament my sorry state of denial of the food I LOVED (along with pouring entire mouthfuls of sawdust like parmesan onto my tongue from shiney green Kraft cans) to my father and he would stare at me from under his rather formidable eyebrows (which i have inherited) and intone, in this voice that i think god (if i believed in god, to be honest) would probably use, "someday, you're gonna have to live off of that stuff. i wonder how much you're gonna love it then."

i hate that shit now, cuz of that.
i hate that he was right.
god damn parents.
but i digress...

okay, so we cooked some bolognese sauce and tomato basil sauce from scratch so i could lower our grocery budget -- along with, as you know, a ton of bread. i'm out of yeast after only 3 months -- my last jar of yeast lasted me two years -- and i am biting my nails waiting to be able to buy some more on friday, after payday. oh, yes. my once-a-month payday is just around the corner... woo... hoo...

in order to create some lovely spaghetti sauce, i opened up THE SILVER SPOON cookbook to find just the right recipes to make our sauces. we were in the market for a meat sauce (bolognese is my choice) and a simple tomato sauce, which, thanks to the classic wonder of THE SILVER SPOON, were and are right at the beginning of the book, where all good sauces live. i do believe i have mentioned how THE SILVER SPOON is a serious cookbook and one i open with trembling, happy hands no matter how crappy my day is going. this is a book with no author credited for its wonder. it is1199 pages of marvel and wonder of the likes of my two french tomes, Larousse Gastronomique and Larousse French Traditional Cooking. THE SILVER SPOON is the italian equivalent of those books and just the first line in the cookbook "eating is serious matter in italy" gives you an idea of how incredible and intensely fabulous this is. our first sauce was BOLOGNESE MEAT SAUCE (ragu alla bolognese) and the next was, TOMATO SAUCE (salsa di pomodoro). first, meat sauce:

ingredients:
3 tbs butter
2 tbs olive oil
1 onion, chopped
1 celery stalk, chopped
1 carrot, chopped
9 oz ground steak
1 tbs concentrated tomato paste
salt and pepper

what to do:
heat the butter and olive oil in a small pan and add the onion, celery, carrot and ground steak. season with salt and pepper to taste. mix and cook over low heat for a few minutes until the vegetables have softened and the meat starts to brown. mix the tomato paste with a little water to dilute it and add to the pan. cover and cook over a very low heat for 1 1/2 hours, adding a little hot water if the sauce seems to be drying out. this ragu (meat sauce) can be made with mixed meats and flavored with mushrooms.

tomato sauce
ingredients:
9 oz canned tomatoes or fresh tomatoes, peeled
pinch of sugar
2 garlic cloves
2 tbs olive oil
10 fresh basil leaves, torn
salt

what to do:
put the tomatoes with their can juice, if using canned tomatoes, into a pan and add the sugar, garlic and a pinch of salt. cover and cook over very low heat for about 30 minutes without stirring. mash the tomatoes with a wooden spoon and, if using canned tomatoes, cook for a further 15 minutes. remove the pan from the heat and let cool. stir in the olive oil and basil.

what we did:

first of all, we made double the amount of ragu so we could have extra. all the rest of it we did the same, even the carrots which, you know, i despise cooked. however, i have made ragu before and i am a big believer in going by the book with all the veggies. it really adds flavor and is terrific.

with the tomato sauce, we used fresh tomatoes which we blanched in boiling water for just 30 seconds to get the skin off -- how to do this is to cut an "x" in the bottom of your tomato, place it in boiling water, let it set for 30seconds, then take them out and shock them in iced water. the skin comes right off. i also seeded the tomatoes. it's winter here in kansas so the tomatoes aren't the best, so our sauce is a light orangey red instead of a deep red, but it tastes great.

we've used the ragu for lasagna, which we made for nicholas' 13th birthday, and the tomato sauce for a base of other sauces. really yummy and, as you can see, easy. truly great sauce recipes are simply delicious bases for other sauces. tomato sauce, without the basil, is called a "mother" sauce, a base sauce for other sauces, and is really terrific to have in your arsenal.

to me, it's fun to cook fresh ingredients and see things come together in ways that make me feel as if i'm truly accomplishing something. these are the moments that have made this rather strange and difficult month a lot easier.

or, well, somewhat :o)

Adieu, Mon Beau Lapin

2008-01-27T12:24:00.000-06:00

when i first took cooking class, one of the things we made was braised rabbit. it's also one of the things i don't eat, although i tasted it for class. we're a rabbit kind of family, so it's not the rabbit that's a problem, it's the EATING of the rabbit that's the problem. we're rabbit owners, i've owned rabbits as pets for quite sometime and our bunny, Bugsy, has been a member of our family since we got him from a christmas tree farm back in 2002. he was just a baby, actually given to us before he should have been leaving his mother, and although we were told not to hold him too much, both brandon and nicholas took turns holding him the whole way home from the farm. it was a long 3 hour drive and by the time we got home, our Bugsy was a cuddly, wanna be held, personality full rabbit who would thump to get your attention, loved tummy rubs and had the run of the place.

so, no. i never cook rabbits. i never eat rabbits, because of Bugsy and before him, DJ and before her, Beanie and Cecil, her parents. these weren't just caged "oh, aren't they cute?" from afar pets. all four of these were litterbox trained, playful, actual walked on leash pets who, interestingly enough, came when you called.

when i woke up this morning, i looked over at the condo sized cage this master of cute calls home to find him lying on his side, silent and gone. Bugsy died this morning, 27 January, after almost 6 years of living with our craziness, being our sole and most beloved pet to having to share his space with (gasp!) two dogs. and we are heartbroken. deep down, sad to our souls heartbroken. we loved, we LOVE, that rabbit and as i write this, the tears are blurring every word. it may seem strange to put so much weight on the depth of meaning of a rabbit, but he was more than a bunny. he was our friend, he was our family and he will always stay that way in our hearts.

my hope in life, my dream, is to one day go to Paris and take cooking from the masters, as i've mentioned here before. i like to think i'm a good student who does what they're told and learns well. but i can't cook rabbit. i won't. i guess i'll get an "F" in lapin cooking. and i'm okay with that. Bugsy would be proud of me, i do believe. and in honor of Bugsy, the one, the only, the bunny love of life, i'll be baking a carrot cake today -- sweet, wonderful, full of good things. like our Bugsy. and i will be missing him, because he was special. even bunnies can steal your heart. this one sure did.

adieu, mon beau lapin, Bugsy.
bon voyage.

Cooking on a Budget Well and With Imagination

2008-01-20T21:36:00.000-06:00

ah, money. it makes the world go 'round, makes you feel safe and would get us to Paris so my sons and i could be like Ratatouille (the movie, not the dish) and indulge our foody sides. unfortunately, money is not our current strong suit, so we get through from month to month, hoping for the best, cutting corners, pinching pennies and eating on a budget.

i do not like eating on a budget. let me put it a better way, i'm a bit weary of eating on a budget, but respect that i must and, therefore, we do. like tonight. we are just a few days away from payday, but a few days away from payday when it's once a month, is like a lifetime. and, so, you get creative on a budget. or, well, we do. i know, i could do things like buy cheaper foods and the like and, yes, i have begun to scrimp there in some ways. however, we have also begun to do some things on a regular basis that, if my calculations are correct (and, well, sometimes they are and sometimes they... you know), will make this month to month not be so month to month, but more like life in the slow lane.

we make our own bread ALL THE TIME now. i haven't bought a loaf of bread in over a month. we make our own tortillas, we make our own jam, we cook dinner every single night, not just for the blog's sake -- which is how that started, although we always cooked quite a bit, i didn't cook every single night -- i don't drive more than i REALLY have to, i bring my lunch every day to work and blah, blah, blah. my sons are being pretty good about it, quite frankly, and i'm very proud of them for it.

and, so, sometimes, because we are nearing the end of the month, but are not yet to payday, i improvise. at least i improvised tonight.

with three really great red potatoes, a lovely half of a red onion, some leftover taco meat, garlic, herbs, spices, eggs, fresh baked bread, some fruit, and cookies for a treat, i created dinner for us all. sauteing the potatoes, chopped, with the onion and garlic in olive oil, with salt, freshly ground pepper, rosemary, and thyme, until golden, caramelized and crispy, then adding the meat to get all yummy, the eggs, scramble all of this up, toast some of the bread, slice some fruit, nicholas and brandon were ecstatic. they chowed that stuff right down and clamored for more. that, of course, does my heart very good, because if i have to grab from just whatever we have lying around, then i hope i do right by them as i create for them.

you know my feeling about dining -- i want my sons to feel it, experience the joys of it and take it to heart. not just eat to eat, but immerse themselves in it, enjoy it, fuel themselves with good stuff, even if we don't have the dough for the GOOD stuff all the time.

i love my kids and i wish for the best for us, all of us. you, too. times are tight all around. i know that and this isn't some sort of "woe, is me" call to the masses. this is truly a way to let you know that if you've got to tighten your food belt, you can still create something great, luscious and full of flavor for your fam or yourself. how much more could i sound like a commercial? i mean, c'mon, right? but i do mean it. cuz it's hard out here sometimes, isn't it? hard to keep it going when you feel a little off kilter, as we all do now and then. but life is SOOO very short and whatever you can do to enhance your time here, even when the shit is hitting the fan, do it. i mean, i try to do it. a lot. more these days than ever before. i used to suck at it, unless everything was perfect or i thought it was perfect. but it never is. it can't be. it just is as it is.

positive thinking is a really good start as is a strong emotional state. doing tangible things is excellent when it's teamed with all of that and more. cooking instead of going out to dinner is one of those tangible kinds of things. and i know it can be a total and complete DRAG, truly, but if you can find a way to enjoy it, have fun with it, turn it into fun, even if just inside your own heart. make up a story about your meal, create an environment that is unique and different from where you are, if that's what's got you hung up, to make you feel better.

that's one of the beauties of cooking and dining, to me. you can create an ambience around a meal, set a mood that takes you out of your environment and puts you some place like Rome or Paris, Tuscany or, even, two state over. set the table as if you're having company and it's just you or your family. pretend to be plating in a competition, like Iron Chef. light candles, serve yourself buffet style or wait upon yourself. you can lose yourself in the romance of dining, even if it's Top Ramen and a bottle of water. splurge on cheap wooden chopsticks and pretend you're in a noodle house in Tokyo or Singapore. that, i think, is one of the benefits of dining out -- getting away from your day-to-day, escaping for awhile, with a friend or friends, family, yourself, a lover, escape and pampering. so do it at home, if you can't get away. and if you can't cook or fear it, then go into a book store, go up to the customer service counter, tell them you don't, can't, won't cook and you need one cookbook to get you started. one that will get you on the road. they'll probably point you into the Joy of Cooking direction, which i highly recommend myself. it's durable, has ever recipe known to man in terms the American cook can definitely understand and it answers any question you could ever have about food and cooking. but take a cookbook, grab it, feel it, get it dirty and stained and begin to play and allow yourself to build your confidence in the kitchen.
it saves money.
it makes you feel good.
it opens all sorts of doors inside yourself we all need.
my thing is learning how to be more fashionable and dress better. i see The Devil Wears Prada and cry every time. not cuz it's so deep, but because i wish i took more time and loving care to look good and, by definition, feel good. i could get behind wearing seriously cool clothes, but i, alas, do not have the closet to allow for it nor the bank account to go for it.
but, i digress...
cook.
go out there and cook.
and i'll go into my closet and accessorize and coordinate better.
and we'll all be happy.
'night.

Te Quiero Arroz a la Mexicana

2008-01-19T14:46:00.000-06:00

diana kennedy is a mexican food queen. she's legendary, actually, and the one cookbook i own of hers, THE ART OF MEXICAN COOKING: TRADITIONAL MEXICAN COOKING FOR AFICIANADOS. i, myself, as you know, grew up eating mexican food in one of the greatest places on earth to eat mexican food (if you don't happen to be in mexico) -- los angeles. my friend, hilda, would make us mole (for which i will be eternally grateful), some of the best chicken enchiladas i've ever had in my life and... oh, man, unbelievably killer arroz con pollo. the chicken was terrific, yes, but it was her rice, her incomparable rice that made my life so fabulous. and, well, the fact that she was so cool and i could tell her anything and trust her with my children without a thought or moment's hesitation. and i hope she felt the same.

rice at mexican restaurants is always my fave -- so full of incredible flavor and yummy extras that i never mind mixed vegetables in it. i HATE mixed vegetables. okay, that sounds really third grade of me, i'm sure. and i don't mean i hate ALL mixed vegetables, but i have really ick memories of frozen Bird's Eye crapola that my beloved mother imparted upon us as our vegetable at meals -- we usually either had frozen, canned or salad, as memory serves (as well as boxed mashed potato flakes, a lot of boxed Noodle Roni, Rice-a-Roni, which i must admit i LOVED, Hamburger Helper and Minute Rice). so, mixed veggies meant a lot of cooked carrots (omg, AAAHHHH! -- those and brussel sprouts are my least favorite vegetables in the WORLD -- and i mean cooked carrots, not raw. i could eat an entire bunch of raw carrots, drink a gallon of their juice and still crave more). okay, i'm totally rambling. let me get back to the point.

mexican rice. very yummy indeed. and this evening, we decided to have some mexican rice, a mexican style meatloaf i created with our lovely ground chuck from our lovely cow that would entice my meatloaf hating son, brandon. it seemed to have the right kind of vibe going for it, so we opened our beloved, very well-worn THE ART OF MEXICAN COOKING cookbook by the extraordinary Diana Kennedy and made ARROZ A LA MEXICANA or Mexican Rice.

here's how it went:
ingredients:
1-1/2 cups unconverted long-grain rice
1 cup (1/2 pound) finely chopped unskinned tomatoes
2 tbs finely chopped white onion
1 garlic clove, peeled and roughly chopped
1/3 cup safflower oil, melted chix fat, or melted lard
3-1/2 cups light chix broth, approximately
1/2 cup carrot rounds (optional)
1/2 cup fresh peas or diced zucchini (optional)
1/2 cup chopped giblets (optional)
sea salt to taste

what to do:
1. put the rice in a bowl and cover with very hot water. stir and leave to soak for about 10 minutes. drain, rinse with cold water, and drain again.
2. put the tomatoes, onion and garlic in a blender jar and blend until smooth. set aside.
3. heat oil in a heavy pan. give the rice a final shake and stir into the fat. fry over fairly high heat until it begins to turn a light golden color. strain off any excess oil, stir in the tomato puree, and fry, scraping the bottom of the dish to prevent sticking, until the puree has been absorbed -- about 8 minutes. stir in the broth, veggies and giblets (if used), add salt to taste, and cook over fairly high heat, uncovered, until all the broth has been absorbed and air holes appear in the surface. cover the surface of the rice with a towel and lid and continue cooking over very low heat for about 5 minutes longer. remove from the heat and set aside in a warm place for the rice to absorb the rest of the moisture in the steam and swell -- about 15 minutes. dig gently to the bottom and test a grain of rice. if it is still damp, cook for a few minutes longer if the top grains are not quite soft, sprinkle with a little hot broth, cover, and cook for a few minutes longer.
4. before serving, turn the rice over carefully from the bottom so that the flavored juices will be distributed evenly.

here's what we did:
all of us really love this rice and really look forward to it every time we make it. we use vegetable oil, not lard or chicken fat, and we do not add veggies -- i've rambled on that long enough not to have to explain it. this is a no brainer kind of rice, very flavorful and terrific with everything from tacos to fish. our mexican meatloaf was a hit as well -- brandon really loved it. it's a conglomeration of a bunch of different things i made up on the fly. suffice it to say it includes mexican spices, mexican favorites and a lot of good meat.

what i really want to share with you is the cookbook, which i adore. i have cooked often and much out of this cookbook, some things that have saved me when i've had to cook for a gig. the flautas are extraordinary, my favorite one being the potato flautas, the chicken tacos and more. while the recipes are priceless, it is what diana kennedy writes, her tales, her stories, her insights into authentic traditional mexican recipes that make you want to not just cook them, but go to the country and try them right there. as in cook them, in mexico and the various cities in mexico about which diana writes (oh, yeah -- we're close) with the ingredients that are right there, in the ovens and kitchens that are seasoned with history and dishes we will never know. what i wouldn't give to go there with the boys and do that. whenever hilda would talk about her family's ranch in mexico, i could not only see it in my mind, but i could taste it, smell it, hear it. feel it. she was a good friend, one of the best, and one of the best things she brought into my family's life was a memory that will last forever of a life i have realized i wish to give to my children -- joy in a place of beauty and passion.
i miss hilda avila, because of that feeling
and because her heart was so huge, so real, completely without agenda or judgement.
i hope she is well.

Tenderly

2008-01-13T22:49:00.000-06:00

wonderful little treats come in some of the most unexpected ways. just little moments of tasty-ness that bring a smile to your face -- tasty in palate and general heartfelt yummyness, a warm feeling in your heart and a time to share with someone you love. the nights brandon and i spend together while nicholas is out with his big brother are always interesting and life affirming. my youngest guy has a lot of, well, inner turmoil that is finally coming out, not always in the best ways, but for the best in the long run. these two guys have not had the easiest of times and they've held it close to the vest for awhile, but now, as they reach puberty, they're really letting go, letting out. not to get too deep, just to give perspective. one on one time is not the easiest to grab with two guys so close together in age. i doubt nicholas even remembers what it was like to have me all to himself -- he was only 13 and a bit months old (okay, 1 year +, for all you george carlin die hards) when brandon was born, had just learned how to walk at age 13 months (never even crawled, just went from being a slug to cruising the furniture to walking -- unbelievable kid) and, boom, there was his brother. both of them have been sharing with me thoughts and emotions i always intuited but never heard from them and we're better for it -- even when i don't think we are at the time. ultimately, we are. any time my sons are able to set their hearts free so they can grow past it, i'm cool.

well, on to what i was mentioning about the treats that come in unique ways. friday night and nicholas went out with his big bro. i defrosted a chuck roast from my 1/8 of moo and made pot roast. brandon is not a pot roast fan or, at least, like nicholas and chicken breasts, he thinks so until he eats it. so i didn't tell him we were having POT roast. i told him we were having ROAST. yep, i'm not above manipulation when i just don't have time to deal with it. call me a weak mom or a wuss. i'm cool with that. all i'm looking for is calm at times when there is chaos. you bet.

in order to create this lovely pot roast and keep to my own personal pirate code, i looked in a trusty, dusty cookbook, THE COMPLETE MEAT COOKBOOK by Bruce Aidells and Denis Kelly. yeah, i know, i cooked out of this before not too long ago and i'm sorry if i'm breaking my own rule, but with so much beef in my house, cooking from a cookbook called THE COMPLETE MEAT COOKBOOK is not so out of the question. but i will try to do better. i promise.

the recipe is called Lisa's Lazy Pot Roast and i had me quite the large chunk o' chuck roast to cook up that night. there's something quite homey about pot roast, if done the right way. i found, as a child, that while i liked the meat, i never liked the veggies that went along with it. they were cooked into oblivion. i realized that i like vegetables that keep their bite, that aren't cooked into mush (even mashed potatoes with a little chunkyness make me hap, hap, happier than totally smooth -- although a good, well made puree of potato never hurt anybody. oh, no). and, so, when i first saw Lisa's Lazy Pot Roast, i smiled...
you'll see why. oh, this is not the first time i have made this particular dish. no, no. however, it is the first time i actually really THOUGHT about it. don't forget about the flavor step, that faboo absolute yum flavor step The Complete Meat Cookbook provides. what pals.

ingredients:
herb and paprika rub for beef
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tbs chopped fresh rosemary or 1 tsp dried
1 tbs paprika
1 tbs osher salt
1 tsp freshly ground black pepper

1 4-pound boneless beef chuck roast OR a beef brisket, trimmed of most fat
2 tbs veggie oil
1/2 cup water or beef or chicken stock, or more if needed
5 cups thinly sliced onions (about 3 large onions)
6 garlic cloves, chopped
salt and freshly ground black pepper

what to do:
1. flavor step (YAY!):
combine the herbs, paprika, salt and pepper in a small bowl. rub the meat thoroughly with the mixture. you can cook the roast immediately, but it will taste better if it sits for an hour or two at room temp or overnight in a zipper-lock bag or, well wrapped, in the fridge.
2. preheat the oven to 350ºF. in a large, heavy casserole or a dutch oven, heat the veggie oil over medium-high heat. brown the meat on all sides, about 7 minutes. remove and set aside. pour off any fat from the pan and deglaze the pan with the water or stock, scraping up any browned bits with a wooden spoon or spatula. put the roast back in the pan, cover it with the sliced onions and garlic, cover, and bake for 1 hour.
3. remove the cover, turn the roast over so that it is on top of the onions, and continue to cook, uncovered, for another hour, adding more liquid if needed. stir the onions around after about 30 minutes so they can brown more evenly.
4. replace the cover and continue to cook for 1 hour more or until the meat is fork-tender; brisket will take a little longer than chuck. remove the meat from the pot and let it rest, covered loosely with foil, while you prepare the sauce. (at this point, you may refrigerate the pot roast for later reheating. refrigerate the cooking liquid separately. to serve later, remove any congealed fat from the cooking liquid and strain it before using it to reheat the meat gently.)
5. to serve, strain and defat the sauce. taste for salt and pepper. cut the meat into thick slices or separate it into chunks. spoon some sauce and onions over each serving.

what we did:
we used dried rosemary and chuck roast. the marinade time was for 1 1/2 hours and we used 2 onions instead of three (because we only had two onions). we didn't use stock, but water, which i usually don't do when stock is an option in order to impart more flavor, but let's see how that turned out. everything else the recipe said to do we did. so was i able to convince brandon that pot roast, once again, is quite yum?

yes. using the water instead of the stock worked out great. this is EXCEEDINGLY flavorful, in every possible way. if you've ever experienced pot roast that is either overdone, underdone, flavorless or covered in mushy, icky veggies, this is the one that will change your mind forever. like the horseradish encrusted pot roast we made a bit ago, this is a winner. brandon was in love with it and when i reheated it a few days later for leftovers while hanging out with nicholas, nicholas went nuts for it. this was terrific and i recommend it highly.

this experience is really wonderful. while i haven't been keeping up with the blog as much as i would like (and i am SOOOO sorry for that -- i promise to work harder. really, really, really), the cooking every night has been as great as it has been challenging. but what it's brought out for us more than the challenge or the great feeling is this sense of doing for ourselves in a way that allows us to control our food so we are aware of the quality of the ingredients, know what's really going in to what we are eating. i like that. i like knowing that the things i am feeding are from a place we can trust and are made with thought and care. and ease, quite often.

i know, i'm doing my "isn't cooking wonderful?" thing again, which you may not agree with and, um, really hate me for doing all the time. i'm cool with that. honest. but i do love it, obviously, and i believe, if you give me a chance, you'll come to love it, too. because, everybody deserves to cook for themselves and experience an ease in cooking should, heaven forbid, you find yourself low on funds and going out to eat is way too much to deal with all the time. even really simple stuff, which i hope you discover in this blog, will make your life a lot easier.

okay, i'm off my soapbox now.
thanks for playing :o)

In Praise of, Well, Eating, um, Well...

2008-01-11T16:31:00.000-06:00

i often think that the secret to wonderful food is feeling wonderful about what you are eating. aren't i brilliant? yeah, whatever. but, i have found, in my time cooking, that, truthfully, enjoying your meal totally and completely comes from being able to feel good about what you're eating. i don't mean just happy with the health factor of it, what wonderful something you're putting into your body, should healthy fare be your choice. it's more than that. it's the taste, the feel of it inside, the way it warms your soul as it fills you up, just enough, so your sated but not stuffed. the freshest ingredients, the tastiest herbs and spices. trying combos out that work for you and your tastebuds, trusting in your skill, regardless of level, by trusting in your own senses. after all, we walk into restaurants everyday, trusting our palate to people we do not and probably will never meet, to kitchens into which we will never enter with utensils we have never seen. we not only trust these places of mystery, we worship some of them to the point of creating celebrity chefs of the like of movie stars.
is that wrong?
no. that's not what i'm saying.
is it a shame we don't trust ourselves with ourselves as much?
yes. that's what i'm saying.
the wonder of food, cooking, is that we become something of a real magician, even if it's just heating up chicken fingers from the grocery. we're these master providers of tangible sustenance and in our hands, it can become anything, nothing or everything. wow, what power?
i know, i'm waxing rhapsodic ABOUT FOOD. i get it. but it's something i strongly believe and it's what made tonight's dinner so, well, gratifying. it was fresh, lovely, delicious and simple. it wasn't rocket science, L'Escoffier technique and presentation. it was more. it was appreciation.
my stomach still sorta bugs me. i'm a little iffy on it and i've been SUPER tired, so i stayed home from work yesterday in an attempt to shake this... whatever it is. i was like a huge slug all day, lying in bed, attempting to disappear into dream land, hoping not to have to move at all. i knew nicholas and brandon would be back from school soon enough and was DEEPLY happy i had bought some fish a couple of days before. fish, as a general rule, cooks up quick, easily and, in our house, is much revered. tonight we made a few quite lovely things to sooth the stomach and tempt our palates:
the book tonight was THE ITALIAN COUNTRY TABLE by Lynne Rossetto Kasper. the cover of this book always brings a smile to my face of hope and possibility -- it's this beautiful, rustic wooden bowl filled with fresh, simple ingredients -- some good canellini beans, chunks of excellent parmeggiano-reggiano, peppers, radicchio and the like. really gorgeous bowl and it makes me think of picking olives, hunks of rustic bread dipped in their oil, a ripe tomato eaten like an apple and the best salami and cheeses known to man -- i'm a real charcuterie hag. you know, cured meats, pates, cheeses and such. oh, man. the two dishes i chose from this cookbook that night were CLASSIC POACHED FISH and SEARED BROCCOLI WITH LEMON. report card at the end of both of them.

ingredients for Poached Fish:
4 cloves garlic, crushed
8 branches fresh Italian parsley, plus additional for garnish
1 tsp salt, plus more for taste
freshly ground black pepper
water
1 to 1-1/2 pounds firm fleshed fish fillets or thick-cut steaks (sea bass, cod, sea trout, salmon, trout, char, haddock, halibut or bluefish) or 2 - 3 pounds whole fish
2 medium lemons, cut into wedges
extra-virgin olive oil

what to do:
1. in a 12-inch skillet or saute pan, combine the garlic, parsley, 1 tsp salt and pepper to taste in water about 2-1/2 inches deep. bring to a simmer, cover, and cook 5 minutes. Measure the fish for thickness (cooking time depends on thickness).
2. slip the fish into the water, adjusting the heat so the water shudders but doesn't bubble. cook 8 to 10 minutes to the inch, or until all but the very center of each piece is opaque. Check by making a small slit in the chickest part of the fish. as each piece is done, use a slotted spatula to lift it onto a heated plate.
3. garnish the fish with the lemon wedges and parsley branches, and serve immediately. at the table, invite everyone to season the fish with salt, drizzles of olive oil, and freshly squeezed lemon.

SEARED BROCCOLI WITH LEMON
ingredients:
1 large bunch broccoli or baby broccoli (about 1-1/4 pounds)
water
2 tbs extra-virgin olive oil
shredded zest of 1 large lemon
salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste
lemon wedges

what to do:

1. trim off 1 inch of the broccoli stalks. peel the remaining stalks. split thicker stalks lengthwise into thirds, slender ones in half.
2. place a collapsible steamer in a 6-quart pot containing about 2 inches of water. bring to a boil. crisscross the broccoli stalks in the steamer. cover the pot and cook 1 to 3 minutes; a stalk should still show some resistance when pierced with a knife. immediately rinse the broccoli under cold water to stop its cooking. (at this point, you can set the broccoli aside a few hours at room temperature.)
3. heat the oil in a 12-inch saute pan (not nonstick) over medium-high heat. saute the broccoli until speckled with brown on one side. adjust the heat to prevent it from burning, and watch the pan bottom for scorching. sprinkle the broccoli with the lemon zest and salt and pepper, turn the stalks over, and saute to brown on the second side. try to keep the stalks whole by turning them with wo spatulas. taste for seasoning. serve hot or warm, with lemon wedges. the broccoli is even good at room temperature, but do not refrigerate.

what we did:
first of all, we added some steamed potatoes with a little olive oil, rosemary, salt, pepper and lemon tossed in with them. they were small red potatoes, so we ate them whole. and i mean, tiny. the other thing that came out of this is brandon, who does NOT like broccoli, loved it seared. he especially like the browned parts of it, because of how flavorful it was, so it is my goal to make it for him again seared all over and crunchy (as he says), but not fried.

the fish was perfect -- moist, non-acidulated -- meaning, it had no citrus or acid to toughen or put flavor to another level. it was subtle and we tasted the fish. we used tilapia filets, which nicholas and brandon adore, and it was DEEE-LIH-SHUS! they were happy guys.

we used cilantro instead of parsley -- i had just chopped my last -- and it was a delight. my sons were happy, my tummy was happy and, so, all was well with the world. a treat with this cookbook is how the entrees have all these wonderful wine recommendations and terrific suggestions. it's simple and glorious in its simplicity.

eating well, adoring, feeling the gift of what you have brought to the table is exquisite. the smiles on my sons faces made me feel better about what i am capable of doing. i don't cook for a living, i live through my cooking. and they feel my love... because i take the time... or so they think.

this took me, total, 1/2 hour. no joke.
and that was from start to finish, plating and the like.
so delightful, delicious, yummy, and feel good.
that's one of the wonderful things about cooking, that joyous accomplishment of simplicity.
you don't have to make a souffle or cassoulet (both of which i enjoy making, by the by) to impress or delight. just give of yourself. truly. all of yourself with all of your heart.
yeah, blah, blah syrup and treacle...
but truth.
trust you.
your tongue won't lie.
i promise :o)

The Box, Packet and Beef

2008-01-09T20:21:00.000-06:00

pre-packaged, quicky meals are not necessarily horrific if you find yourself needing a magic wand at a time of night when you could make a misstep that could lead to late night eating which, in our house, just won't do. oh, no. i made a commitment to myself on new year's eve that i would not, no matter what, have my sons eat past 7:30 in the evening. of course, if we're in europe enjoying a siesta, well, i could make a concession to that. i mean, i'm not COMPLETELY heartless. hell, if we were in europe, i would let them eat in their sleep, for godsakes. but, at the moment, we are in kansas and it is my goal in life to teach my children good eating habits -- along with excellent DINING habits. you would think that by the ages of 11 and 12, i would have done my job, right? don't count on it. i'm not the "faboo mom" poster mother on any level, but i get by and my children seem to love and even like me, so i must be doing something right. whether it's the right kind of right, who knows? but i'm doing, well, something. and one of my somethings is this...
tonight was one of those rush home, pick up some groceries, cook up some pre-packaged taco whatever adding beef, tortillas of my own and whatever condiments will work. as i cringed inside and dished this out to smiling boy faces, let me explain:

i
do
not
like
pre-
packaged
any
thing.

and i do mean anything.
i don't like pre-made pasta sauce, but i use it.
i don't like pre-made pasta in cute, fridge case packages -- so i NEVER use them.
i don't like pre-packaged pizza dough, because it's SOOOOO easy to make, freeze and hold onto (really).
i don't like pre-packaged pie crust, although i have discovered rather yummy and serviceable pie dough from the freezer that i would use in a pinch.
i don't like, as you know, pre-made fondant (and to all of my friends who rescued me that day, one dinner at McCormick and Schmick's is NO WAY the big enough thank you all of you deserve... don't think i've forgotten you).
i like getting my hands in it, being all about it, creating from scratch anything. bread to baked goods to entrees and beyond. there's a certain sort of comfort in knowing all of the yums that went into the big picture were by your hand, at least for me. it warms my heart and brings a smile to my soul.
but, tonight?
i succumbed.
whatever.
i'll forgive myself.
i already have.
my kids didn't care.
oh, i know.
you think since they eat these home cooked meals of substance that a hot dog and cheeseburger would be, well, just below them.
this is what my son, brandon, told me on the phone tonight as he was out with his "big brother":
"hey, guess what, mom. guess what cool thing i had that you guys didn't."
(we had leftovers tonight, nicholas and i)
i said to him, "what?"
and with a huge, salacious smile in his voice, a delight that was beyond compare and a smugness that only he (and my brother, who shares the same ability to completely epitomize joy like no other human being i know just in their essence -- so cool), he said, "a CHEEEEEESE-burger... yep."
he's eleven. he's an actual eleven year-old who, yes, also loves ratatouille, indian food, couscous with currants, a good spinach salad, homemade bread and handcrafted desserts piped with handmade roses. he's still eleven and nicholas is still twelve and they're american and we live just 4 minutes from a McDonald's.
yeah, don't think that isn't quite the discussion on weekends (although, when i pull into Panera to get them their Chicken Pomodoro sandwiches with Iced Green tea instead of a Quarter Pounder with Cheese or a Big Mac they smile bigger).
the box
packet
and beef...
it's amazing the magic they create.
julia would forgive me, i think.
i hope.
whatever.

Madhur Jaffrey, Indian Goddess of Food

2008-01-07T23:15:00.000-06:00

indian food, as you well know, is something we enjoy because, well, it's yummy. madhur jaffrey, you may or may not know, is an indian goddess of delicious wonder. at least, i think so.
my blog.
my opinion.
live with it.
'kay, so, ms. jaffrey has A LOT of cookbooks that focus on this delectable way of eating, cooking, dining spectacularly with flavors and experiences that, truly, tingle your sense all over and make you wish you had ALWAYS been given this incredible gift of food.
in my opinion.
like i says up top there.
all day, i had been baking, cooking, creating. i couldn't stop myself. i made two loaves of bread (yes, TWO), homemade berry jam, made ricotta pancakes for breakfast that morning, offered up leftovers for lunch (i mean, really -- how much can one gal do, ya know?), then, realizing brandon had a basketball game early that evening, wanted to get dinner together to eat before we left. i was a cooking, chopping, stirring, baking fool all day and it felt, well, quite wonderful. i felt alive and productive, energized and completely in my element. which was a really nice way to spend my day, because the night before i had stayed up until about 3:00 in the morning (maybe later) writing on a screenplay i'm working on (ssh! don't tell the wga -- i mean, i don't plan to try and SELL the thing until the strike is over, but i can't just sit around and NOT write, ya know?). it was like i was immersing myself in the two worlds that fulfill me artistically so well, the contentment i felt is indescribable, so i'm not gonna try. the boys could sense it, i could tell, because they were wonderfully happy and willing to do the little things i needed them to do around the house -- grateful is too light a word to describe that part.
what to make for dinner that would continue that feeling of blissful renaissance tripping? i grabbed up a cookbook by madhur jaffrey simply called INDIAN COOKING, a gift i had received ten years ago from some very special friends of mine -- friends i miss dearly (Robin and Mia, if you can read me, you're on my mind). i use this little beauty quite a bit, but we'd never made this particular dish before and i was excited to try it. BOMBAY-STYLE CHICKEN WITH RED SPLIT LENTIS or Murgh aur masoor dal.

take a look:
ingredients:
1-1/4 cups masoor dal (red split lentils) picked over, washed, and drained
1 medium onion, peeled and chopped
1/2-1 fresh, hot green chilli, finely sliced
2 tsps ground cumin seeds
1 tsp ground turmeric
1 tsp very finely minced, peeled fresh ginger
6-1/3 cups water
about 3 pounds of chicken parts, skinned
2 1/4 tsp salt
2 tbs veggie oil
1 tsp whole cumin seeds
2-4 cloves garlic, peeled and finely chopped
1/4-3/4 tsp cayenne pepper
2 tbs lemon juice
1/2 tsp sugar
1 tsp garam masala
optional garnish: 3 tbs chopped fresh coriander (cilantro)

what to do:
1. combine the lentils, onion, green chilli, ground cumin, turmeric, half of the chopped ginger and 6-1/3 cups water in a big, heavy pot. bring to a simmer, cover, leaving the lid very slightly ajar, and cook on low heat for 45 minutes. add the chix and the salt. mix and bring to a boil. cover, turn the heat to low and simmer gently for 25-30 minutes or until chix is tender.
2. heat the oil in a small frying pan over medium flame (heat). when hot, put in the whole cumin seeds. as soon as the seeds begin to sizzle -- this just takes a few seconds -- put in the remaining 1/2 tsp chopped ginger and garlic. fry until the garlic turns slightly brown. now put in the cayenne pepper. lift up the frying pan immediately and pour its entire contents -- oil and spices -- into the pot with the chicken and lentils. also add the lemon juice, sugar, and garam masala. stir to mix and cook on medium-low flame for another 5 minutes.
3. sprinkle the fresh coriander over the top, if using, just before you serve.

here's what we did:
i ALWAYS think i have whole cumin seeds and whenever i look, i'm always surprised i don't. i've got whole coriander seeds and i've got cardamom pods, whole nutmeg, allspice, fennel and blah, blah, blah, but not CUMIN SEEDS, which is SOOOO stupid, cuz i cook this shit alot. again, it's like my mustard problem. i either always think i've got several jars only to discover i have none, or always think i need it and discover i have, yep, several jars. so, instead of the seeds i used ground cumin. don't ask me how much, i just guessed, but i figure i used about 1/2 tsp, put it in the hot oil and let it sizzle, then added the rest of that stuff. my lentils were regular red lentils, so the stew like quality of the dish came out a bit soupy, but, yo, still YUMMY-NUMMERS (yep, got right into the report card for ya... couldn't wait). we also didn't have any green chillies (tee, hee), so i used a nice pinch of red pepper flakes. although i have a ton of fresh cilantro -- literally, a ton, honest -- i didn't use it for this.

i served this over some nice basmati rice and with a refreshing salad of romaine and homemade salad dressing. this was dee-vine. delicious, tender, just lovely. nicholas and brandon loved it, chowed it seriously down, and they were in heaven. oh, yeah, wait, i also added about 1/4 cup plain yogurt to the stew which imparted quite the yum. i used boneless, skinless chicken thighs which i cut into about 1-1/2 inch pieces. terrific dish. simple, warming and good. i would recommend salting and peppering it to taste after its cooked, if you feel the need.

something about madhur jaffrey's cookbooks -- they are not for the faint of heart. she assumes, like bobby flay (but NOT like bobby flay, if you know what i mean -- cuz they are in no way like each other in demeanor and such, but in belief, yes), that you already know how to cook and she is merely a vessel to offer up recipes from a region you may not have ever explored in a culinary sense rather than giving you instructions on learning how to cook WHILE making her recipes. there are wonderful pages of history regarding an ingredient, a dish, something. she gives great background as well as props to you in her instructions. they are very straightforward and kind of conversationally "this is what you do, but you already know this stuff, so why don't i just lay down the basics without bogging you down in the tutorial." she's just so incredibly open and it's like she's in the kitchen with you while you're making these dishes. you're a team, peers when you cook with madhur jaffrey's cookbooks. equals.
how cool is that?

brandon played one hell of a game, even though the team lost. he rocked it and felt great after the game. this was a light, lovely meal. i probably already said that, but i'll say it again.
oh, and again, just for good measure.
this was a light, lovely meal.
so there.
yum.

The Princess Chicken

2008-01-07T22:46:00.000-06:00

i know what i'm missing -- romance in my life.
it's true.
i have no romance and so i have begun to create it.
how, you may ask? well, since this is a COOKING blog and not a RELATIONSHIP blog, it is through -- you guessed it -- cooking. not eating, per se, but cooking. really immersing myself in the joys of creating meals for us to dine upon, not just eat. delicious, succulent morsels of marvelous culinary wonders that go beyond the day-to-day and transcend necessity. i throw myself into the kitchen with a passion that defies all reason, sometimes, because, as i just mentioned, i have no ROMANCE in my life.
so i am creating it and discovering it in something other than relationships with a hot guy who thinks i'm cute.
i am discovering it within myself.
yes, how incredibly "self-help, i'm okay, you're okay, let's do the tango" of me.
shut up.
it's my blog.
i can philosophize if i want to.
anywho, back to the romance creating of it all, moving beyond what must be to what we merely dream come to life. a meal, cooked this evening from necessity that turned into something so much more, cuz i had just come from a conversation with a friend which served to remind me that i HAVE NO ROMANCE IN MY LIFE.
oh, wait, i said that already.
moving on...
chicken.
yep, i know.
it can be boring, basic, typical, necessary. it's a meat that you can either destroy by not treating it with the delicate kindness it deserves -- cuz ya got about 20 minutes to get everything on the table or you're gonna look up and realize it's getting SOOOO late and your kids haven't finished their homework and they still need to take their baths and, wait, what about their chores and did you remember to sign the thing about the stuff that has to be to the teacher by the ya know? -- or you can turn into something rather luscious and memorable, elegant even, with just the right love, care and, yep, passion. after all, the elegant side of the spectrum would be coq au vin, which is just an old stewing chicken lovingly braised in good wine forever while the lower end is chicken fingers (cuz, as we all know, chickens have hands) which are breaded pieces of breast meat pounded into submission, fried and dipped in sauce so you really don't pay attention to the taste anyway (or even know it really is chicken). the same chicken covers a lot of faboo and serviceable positions. the more time you have to devote to one, the better your results.
tonight, i did not have time.
i was, however, craving romance.
what to do?
i called ahead and had nicholas take out some chix breast -- boneless, skinless -- from the freezer and defrost it. now, this led to quite the "but i don't LIKE chicken breasts, mom!" back and forth (he loves them, just for the record, but he didn't FEEL like them tonight, therefore he HATED them FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!), but that's really neither here nor there, because we were having chicken breasts, goddammit, and he DAMN WELL BETTER JUST DEAL WITH IT! okay, not like that, actually. i was quite "yes, well, just put the little suckers in the microwave to defrost and we'll talk about it when i get home, 'kay? great." i promise. by the time i got home, brandon was home from his monday night basketball practice, the chicken was defrosted, it was WELL after six o'clock (i really like to get home no later than five-ish if i can help it, but whatever) and i don't like us eating after 7:30, cuz that ees no good for dee chillies or the 45+ body i am whipping into hot girl shape. no'm.
i stood at my chopping block, looking at the rather naked skinless, boneless 1-1/2 pounds worth of chix breast and thought -- for about 2 seconds and it came to me. a chicken pasta dish. but not just "chicken pasta". no, it was more like CHICKEN PASTA sung by marilyn horn and accompanied by yoyo ma.
romance on a plate created out of necessity.
check it:

ingredients:
1 lb pasta -- spaghetti, linguine, penne
1-1/2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts (organic, preferably)
seasoned salt
freshly ground pepper
thyme
oregano
italian seasoning
4 tbs. olive oil, separated (2 and 2)
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 scallions, chopped (whites and greens)
1 cup chopped broccoli
1/4 cup plain yogurt
1 cup GOOD tomato sauce
1/4 cup grated parmagiano reggiano
1/2 cup cubed fresh mozzarella

what to do:
1. prepare your pasta per instructions on the package. drain, reserving about 1/2 cup pasta water. DO NOT RINSE PASTA (trust me). set aside.
2. while the pasta is cooking, cut the chicken breasts into 1 inch cubes. toss with the salt, pepper, thyme, oregano and italian seasoning. heat 2 tbs olive oil over medium high heat and add the garlic cloves. let them just perfume the oil, cook for about 30 seconds (do not let brown) then add the seasoned chicken and brown, lightly, on all sides.
3. make a well in the center of the chicken and add the other 2 tbs of the olive oil. drop in the scallions and broccoli and sautee along with the chicken until bright green and glistening -- still firm.
4. pour in 1/4 cup of the pasta water and let simmer for just 30 seconds. in a bowl, combine the rest of the pasta water, yogurt, tomato sauce, parmegiano reggiano and the mozzarella then add to the pan and stir, coating the chicken and veggies.
5. to the pan, add 1/2 of the pasta and toss with the sauce, heating through and making sure the chicken and veggies combine well with the pasta.
6. serve on separate plates, top with a sprinkling of parmegiano and some cubed mozzarella.
serves 4

yeah, i know, i didn't get specific with the spices. that's because i was tossing in off the top of my head, not measuring. i'll do it again and make sure of proportions for ya, if you REALLY want me to. honest. but here's the report card:

this looked pretty, tasted delicious and expanded horizons. nicholas has already placed the leftovers in a container to take to school tomorrow for lunch. i used high protein pasta, which gave this an even more hearty flavor. it was just the right amount of chicken, veggies and such for a quicky tonight, but the next time i make it, i'll add even more veggies and, perhaps, make it with a meaty white fish. could be on to something. what was also so much fun was the fact that nicholas, who HATES CHICKEN BREASTS FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!, is the one who now MUST HAVE IT FOR LUNCH TOMORROW!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!
i love my kids. they're so, well, kid-like. imagine that.

the romance? well, what started as NECESSITY transcended it. creating something that became more than i had dreamed within the little amount of time i had allotted myself did have the essence of fairytale to it, surely. i was cinderella, but instead of wearing my glass slipper i was holding up a wooden spoon, and instead of princes for wooing were two young princes for nurturing who sat down to the table, smelled the food, took a bite and proclaimed, "what is this magnificent thing?"
chicken with pasta, your majesties.
chicken with pasta.

Sir Nicholas, The Gentle Epicurean

2008-01-05T19:33:00.000-06:00

parenting is an interesting life. you HOPE that whatever you are ATTEMPTING to teach your children gets through to them and become lifetime tools they can mold to accommodate their world. you do things and say things you never thought you'd say or do, you love harder than you ever thought you'd love and, without fail, you are always surprised to discover that, in the immortal words of debra winger in Terms of Endearment "as hard as you think it's gonna be, you wish it was that easy." today was one of those days.

due to circumstances way too boring to go into here, nicholas and brandon found themselves grounded for the day and needing to do certain things to get out of that grounding. how do we find ourselves in these situations? anyway, before Nicholas went to begin his chores, he made himself some breakfast. now, let me explain about nicholas and cooking, as i have said before -- he is a lyrical chef, an artist in the kitchen who layers, gently, flavors, paints with his herbs and spices, attempts difficult dishes without even having any concept that they are difficult. there's an incredible beauty in that, a fearlessness that is the mark of a great cook, artist, creator on any level. he dives in, not like a bull in a china shop, but like a fawn, prancing through a cool brook, not afraid of what's in the water, just wanting to be in the water.

nicholas made an omelet for himself today. not just any omelet, but a cheese omelet with rosemary. yep. and it was perfect. i mean, folded beautifully, just enough cheese, not too much (which, considering he ADORES cheese, says a lot for him) and some wonderfully sauteed rosemary. when he brought it to the table, he asked me to try it and i did, just a little piece, and the flavors didn't POP, they ROLLED, flowed, filled me slowly with a unique and gentle build that made me want more. i was blown away.

just like his tea. when he makes me tea, it's an event. it's full of spices, steeped wonderfully and presented with a delicate flourish. how he found that inside of himself is beyond me, but he has. he is as much a romantic as he is a tweenage boy whose only desire is to watch his favorite show, play swords, run around and get dirty and jumping on the bed.

when he went off to do his chores, nicholas did so with kind of a satisfied saunter after his omelet. he had made himself this wonderful meal, sat down to eat it, savor it, then went off to do what needed to be done... which he's still doing, but that's a whole other story.

i guess my point in all of this is my sons have discovered something i was fortunate to discover when i was a kid -- eating for one is not so awful. it is actually be quite wonderful to treat yourself to the time, the effort and the consideration of a real meal, a dining experience just for you. pamper yourself at the table with candles, a glass of wine, some good food and your company, excellent company. when they cook for themselves, nicholas and brandon go all out, really playing in the kitchen to make something remarkable. it's an event, a true gift.

no recipe this time, just a memory, a mention, a comment on this wonder of life called the kitchen.
don't be afraid of it.
embrace it.
like a child at play.
like nicholas.

Touchdown for The Great Brandini

2008-01-05T10:59:00.000-06:00

brandon smith. the youngest of the "morris" based children. fiery, giggly, sweet, a huge mischief maker with the heart of a negotiator. omg. this kid could talk his way out of ANY situation, even if by merely wearing you down.

needless to say, as his mother, i have become immune to his needling charms (while still being quite enamored by his natural charm), which drives him absolutely bonkers, but what do i care? i mean, really? as my mom used to say about my brother, who was also an incredibly charming needler back in his kid days, "he should be a lawyer." interesting that my brother's birthday is a day after my son's birthday (thirty-something years apart, but you get my drift). and so, why have i focused upon the great brandini, as my forever pal elizabeth calls him (which is SOOOO apropos considering his disappearing skills and tries at sleight of hand)? our meal, this evening, is one this young man put together to sooth his mum's icky stomach or, at least, my peace of mind.

new year's eve. lovely day. brandon was sick a couple of days leading up to that, a flu that just took hold of him quite badly that had been coming for quite some time. i had made him some matzo ball soup a few days before, which i would share with you, but it's one of those secret recipes i have perfected over time and, well, i've gotten strict orders from my two sons to pass it down to them, not the world. they've both become quite adamant about certain recipes of ours and who am i to deny their desire to begin a family cookbook? our menu was one picked out by both kids and we looked forward to it with true anticipation:

sauteed crab cakes
pasta w/shrimp scampi (and just simple marinara sauce for brandon)
caesar salad with homemade croutons
hot bread
japanese fried chicken

earlier in the day, my friend, stacey, had called me up to come on by and hang for a bit. love her and her hubby, gill. really do. such great friends -- i told you about that, right? the cool folk i've met? yeah. i miss my crew in l.a. like nobody's business, trust me, but if i could transplant my pals here to there, i would be in heaven.

okay, wait, back to the point. we had a lovely time over there, taking sunflower (our doggie) over to play with her pals, ginger and pumpkin, gill and stacey's dogs, as well as stacey's sister's dog, abraham, and a good time was had by all. then we came back home, i began cooking, the boys were rockin' and rolling, playing guitar hero III on their playstation (omg, so much FUN! you MUST try this) and it was a chill night. lowkey and absolutely FREEZING!

we sit, we begin to eat, i take about two bites and, before i know it, my stomach is just saying "not happening" and i was in the bathroom the rest of the night, tossing EVERYTHING up with no relief in sight. now, just for the record, there is nothing i hate more than throwing up. NOTHING. i could be coughing, hacking, full of whatever unimaginable and needing a humidifier, oxygen tent and rubber tubing and i promise you i wouldn't be half as miserable as i would be throwing up. even so, usually, after you've done so, you feel better, right?

wrong.

this night, i was so sick, i felt like it was never going to end and it terrified my sons. because it's just us here, folks, and they didn't know what to do. who do we call? for all my talk about my great friends, no way was i gonna put this on someone i have only known for a couple of years in the middle of the night. i don't even like to do that to my family, and they're my freakin' family. i had visions of dragging myself to the car, pulling over every few minutes, and taking myself to the emergency room if need be. nothing was working. i couldn't function, it was so bad, and as i dragged myself to my bed, hoping it would somehow work out, in so much pain i couldn't believe it, brandon and nicholas flanked me on both sides, held my hand and talked me through. brandon was crying, worried, telling nicholas we needed to call 911, call someone, anyone while nicholas, staying completely calm, told him, no. she'll be okay. and i remember these words, soothing, calm, incredibly in control:

"deep breaths, mom, take deep breaths. it's okay. it's gonna be okay. throw up again if you have to, mom, but keep taking deep breaths."

i did throw up again. quite a bit, by the way, but his advice about deep breaths was completely right and something he has been hearing from me all his life.

new year's eve was kind of ick, to say the least.

new year's day, the plan was for me to make a ham, have some lovely greens, mac and cheese and cornbread. down home stuff. no way was that gonna happen, because i was still so sick, i could hardly get out of bed. i drank ginger ale, water, hot tea, and nicholas cut me an apple. my stomach was still in so much pain and wanting to throw up so badly, but by now i was able to keep it together, cuz no way did i want to throw up again. oh man. i told the boys i was gonna have to leave them to their own leftover devices while pointing out there was some defrosted chicken in the fridge. brandon's eyes lit up. he had an idea. could he please make something for me? would that be okay? a salad, something simple. please? i agreed, floated back off to neverland in my sleep and just hoped.

this is what brandon made. see? it takes me awhile to get there, but i get there eventually :o).

BRANDON'S SAUTEED CHICKEN
ingredients:

1 pound of boneless, skinless chicken thighs (could use breasts)
2 tsp. curry powder
1 tsp. chili powder
1 tsp. season salt
pinch kosher salt
fresh ground pepper, to taste
2tbs. olive oil
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 cup chicken broth (preferably low sodium/organic)
romaine lettuce
worchester sauce

what to do:
1. cut the chicken into 2 inch pieces. set aside.
2. place the spices including the garlic into a ziploc bag. add the chicken, shake them together and set aside.
3. heat the olive oil in a large skillet or pan (not non-stick) over medium heat and add the chicken with the spices, sauteing three - four minutes on each side, until brown.
4. add the chicken broth and stir, bringing up those yummy brown bits, then cover, the heat and simmering for about 5 more minutes (just until not pink in the middle).
5. place a few romaine leaves on a plate, dash some worchester sauce over the leaves, place chicken pieces on the leaves and serve, family style.

as an aside, you can degrease the chicken sauce, reduce and ladle it over the chicken, if you so choose.

let me tell you, this was a refreshing, delightful bite to have on this cold night from my son. it was really good (and if it seems a bit too salty, lower the salt to your liking). this is something you can really play with and you could use some radicchio instead of romaine, if you wanted, wild lettuces, you could grill radicchio and put this over it, it's a lovely little salad and it made my night.

my stomach, quite frankly, is still iffy. i don't know what it was, whether i got something from brandon (he had just been throwing up the day before, so maybe), something i ate didn't work for me (although the boys both ate the exact same thing and neither of them felt sick) or if i drank too much (i had a couple of glasses of wine at stacey's and was about to have a glass of proseco for new year's when i got sick. i didn't even get a sip off when my stomach went hogwild). whatever it was, is (cuz it's still staying there, in my belly, i hear my stomach rolling over even as i write this and know that my eating has changed so drastically because of it -- i ate only apples, pears and rice last night), it sure began the new year with a bang.

and put brandon in the kitchen, creating relief for his mom and this delicious recipe. i'm not so surprised anymore when nicholas and brandon get behind the stove and make magic. i am, however, always warmed by the caring they show with their desire to "make something for you, mom", don an apron (yes, they actually put on one of my many aprons) and create in the kitchen.
like my mom let me.
so wonderful.

as chef gousteau says in ratatouille (one of our all time favorite movies and, because of that film, one of the boys' fave dishes for which i will always thank pixar, cuz anyone who can get my kids to beg for a dish made with squash, onions, peppers and eggplant is my hero) "anyone can cook."
i know i've said it before and i'll say it again...
love is one powerful ingredient.
love and tenderness.
yum.

BEEF... IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER FOR EVER!

2008-01-03T22:19:00.000-06:00

i did something i have never done in my entire life.
i bought 1/8th of a cow.

you read right.

i bought 1/8th of an actual cow to put into my deep freeze and keep us in burgers for, well, a long ass time.

why, you may ask, did i buy such a thing and what exactly would an 1/8th of a cow look like in a deep freeze?

well, it's been butchered, so it's not like i've got hooves sticking up or something and i need to name it then not be able to cook it cuz i named it. and it's not as if it was walking around the pasture with my name stamped on it's ass reserving my space.

see, there's this lady who works where i work and who, during the spring time and summer warmth, has eggs for sale. so i buy her eggs, because they're natural and damn near organic and i'm all about that shit. really...

and fighting against greenhouse gasses and global warming; pursuing the art of baking my own bread and making my own jams; wishing i had the land to grow my own food and hoping someday i will be so lucky while still believing that by eating right and exercising, i could actually be in good enough shape that i will, one day, wear a bikini without fear... at age 45+ (yeah, i know, you may say i'm a dreamer, but, just for the record? i'm not the only one.)

but i, once again, digress...

she also sells an entire butchered cow from her farm once a year as well and this year i got in on it. now, the prospect of buying even 1/4 of a butchered cow had me kinda freaked for my first time, so i started small, sharing my 1/4 with my friend, lisa (who's also all about holistic, natural shit -- she's learning to be an herbalist, which i think is cooler than words can say). i gathered up brandon to go with me to the butcher to pick up this load o' meat and stared at it in slight awe when i got it back to the car. we both did. it was quite amusing.

oh, you get a lot of ground beef, to be sure, but there are KC strip steaks in there, a brisket, some top sirloin, some roast and on. it's plenty and just right. i do, after all, have two bordering on teen sons who are active in sports, massive humans (11 and 12, five foot six and five foot seven last time i checked and growing) and since i'm on this big "i will cook EVERY SINGLE NIGHT" kick, it certainly helps to have, well, something to cook besides pasta, rice, beans and toast.

brandon does not like meat loaf, no matter how many ways i make it. ah, hell, i hated meat loaf as a kid, too, so whatever. he also does not really like meatballs, lasagna (too much stuff inside), casseroles (again, too much stuff) or meat sauce. upon receiving the large order of meat, as we gazed upon its splendor, these words came out of my mouth --

"brandon, we're gonna have to find a recipe for all that ground beef that works for you, man, beyond burgers, chili, tacos and sloppy joes. you're gonna have to learn to like some meat loaf, dude."

to which he responded with a glassy eyed nod, "i know, mom. whoa, do i know."

watch out, moussaka.
here we come, shepherd's pie.
glad to meetcha, samosas.
couldn't be happier to see ya, jamaican meat pie.
you're goin' down, meat loaf.

In Honour of MY Jordan

2007-12-22T12:26:00.000-06:00

So sorry to have been gone so long -- the holidays came, dontcha know, and computer problems and, well, while i definitely cooked out of my cookbooks, i didn't have the chance to write them down for you all. however, i am making up for lost time by wanting to share with you some of the lovely recipes we created.

Jordan Michael Morris. cool name, huh? the jord-man, as i call him, is my nephew, a tres cool dude of amazing heart and soul who always brings a smile to my face. always. what has that got to do with anything? just watch, my young friends.

this particular day, i opened up one of my fave cookbooks (yes, i know, i have a LOT of favorite cookbooks, but, what can i say?). it is called FEAST FROM THE MIDEAST by Faye Levy. this cookbook also goes on to claim it contains "250 sun-drenched dishes from the Lands of the Bible". oh, yeah. i do believe i have mentioned my incredible penchant for middle eastern cooking (shawarmas are my dream food -- if i had my way, i would have a whole shawarma spit set up in my house). we are lamb lovers and i think that's why i love middle eastern cooking so much. middle eastern/mediterranean cooking has methods that show that meat off to its best advantage. my mom also cooked lamb well, so i was never one of those people who didn't like it. i always loved it. i know a lot of people who don't, but, i promise, if someone gave me just a little bit of time, i could change their mind about lamb. for sure.

but i digress...

Feast from the Mideast. i found a wonderful recipe in which i could use some lamb i had thawed out the night before and was kind of quick. it was LAMB AND RICE PILAF WITH YOGURT SAUCE and it is a little Bedouin dish that has become, per the book, the national dish of Jordan. i saw that and just KNEW i had to make it. i had to. jordan... Jordan... walk with me, talk with me:

ingredients:
3-6 tbs. samnah, ghee or butter, or equal pars butter and margerine or butter and vegetable oil
1 large onion, chopped
1 1/2 to 2 pounds lamb shoulder, trimmed of excess fat and cut in 1-inch cubes
salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
6 cups water
2 tbs Seven Spices blend or 1 tsp ground allspice, 1/2 teapoon ground cinnamon, and a pinch gound cardamom
1 1/2 cups long-grain white rice
3 cups hot chicken, beef or veggie broth or water
1/2 cup slivered almonds or pine nuts, or 1/4 up of each
Creamy Hot Yogurt Sauce (trust me)
4 to 6 pieces fine, fresh lavash or 4 to 6 fresh pita breads

what to do:
1. heat 1 to 2 tbs samnah (or butter, or mixture...) in heavy stew pan. add onion and cook over medium heat for 5 minutes or until beginning to turn golden. Add lamb and saute until meat browns lightly, stirring often. Add salt, pepper, water and spices and bring to a boil, stirring often. Cover and simer over low heat for 1 hour or until lamb is tender, stirring occasionally.
2. Remove meat with a slotted spoon and measure broth. Return the lamb to the pan, add 1 cup broth, cover, and keep it hot. Reserve 1 1/2 cups of the broth to make the yogurt sauce. Measure remaining broth and add enough water to make 3 cups.
3. to prepare the pilaf, heat the 3 cups liquid in saucepan or in the microwave until hot, and reserve. heat 2 or 3 tbs samnah or butter in large saucepan. add rice and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes or util the grains turn milky white. add hot broth, salt, and pepper. bring to a boil. cover and cook over low heat, without stirring, for 18 minutes, or until rice is tender and liquid is absorbed. remove from heat. let rice stand, covered, for 10 to 15 minutes.
4. to toast the almonds, place on a sheet pan in 350ºF oven for about 4 or 5 minutes. you can also saute them in a hot pan with 2 to 3 tsps oil or butter until lightly browned. don't let them burn.
5. reheat the lamb if necessary. to serve, fluff the rice gently with a fork. taste and adjust the seasonings accordingly. spread a layer of lavash (or pita) onto a large platter or onto the plates (if using pita, split each into 2 rounds, putting them on a platter or plate with the crust side down). spoon a little of the yogurt sauce over the bread to moisten. mound half the rice on top and moisten the rice with a few spoonfuls of the sauce. top with half of the lamb chunks then sprinkle with some of the almonds or pine nuts. spoon the remaining rice into a separate bowl, sprinkle with the remaining nuts. serve the lamb and sauce separately.

CREAMY HOT YOGURT SAUCE (so yum)
ingredients:
1 1/2 cups plain yogurt, at room temp.
1 tbs plus 1 1/2 tsps cornstarch
1 1/2 cups chicken, meat or veggie broth or your stew's cooking liquid (for this use some of the lamb broth)
1 tbs butter or veggie oil
3 garlic cloves, minced
salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

what to do:
1. mix yogurt with cornstarch until blended. slowly stir in the broth.
2. heat butter in heavy saucepan. add garlic and cook over medium-low heat for about 1/2 minute or until aromatic. remove from heat. stir in yogurt mixture and mix very well. return to medium-low heat and cook until sauce is hot, but not boiling, stirring constantly. cook over low heat for 3 to 5 minutes, stirring, until sauce is smooth and thickened to your taste. season to taste with salt and pepper. serve hot.

here's what we did: first of all, i didn't have any samnah or ghee (clarified butter used most often in indian/middle eastern cooking), so we just used butter. yes, i could have clarified some butter, but i din't feel like it so there :o). otherwise, everything else was the same. i made the yogurt sauce, we cooked up our lamb, put together our rice (no lavash, however -- didn't have any and didn't have the time to make any pita that night). in honor of OUR Jordan, it was wonderful, warming and very satisfying. a perfect cold night dish. the boys ate two servings and i took it to lunch with me the next day. so yummy.

a little story about MY Jordan, if i may:

about 5ish years ago, when Jordan was 17, i was hired to cater a Christmas wrap party for a sitcom. 100 people, me alone, buffet style and all out of my tiny kitchen. i was going to need to set up on set, transport the food to the studio and serve everyone. i needed a second, an idealistic, but practical sancho to my don quixote and i asked Jordan if he was free, could he help -- my teenage nephew who had a girlfriend on a Friday night right before Christmas break... (fingers crossed, oh, please, oh, please...)

he said yes.

o..m...g... HE SAID YES!

so there we are, me, Jordan, a huge empty space, a couple of buffet tables, on set, just beyond the view of the studio audience, setting up as they are shooting the last few scenes. i was swamped, i needed someone with vision to decorate my tables for me while i put together the trays and the food and, well, everything. i turned to my nephew, doe eyed and begging, and without a word, without a thought, Jordan created this really wonderful, subtle, holiday look on the tables (i will not say tablescape, i will not say tablescape... that's up there with "yummo!" for me... deliver us!) that just made everything pull together. it was lovely. and my 17 year-old nephew so rocked the hell out of the night as my second -- plating, serving, refilling, cleaning -- i would have given him my entire take for the evening if i hadn't been so freakin' broke. no lie.

i knew he would. Jordan's just that way. he's this amazingly wonderful spirit with such, i dunno, beauty and brightness all wrapped in this way cool package, i couldn't have been prouder than to call him my nephew that night or, hell, any night, day, infinite eternity. he certainly is someone i respect and admire as a human being. i really like him.

he saved my life that night. honestly. i was exhausted from cooking and i had to cook some of the menu right there onsite, to order, and he jumped right in to take over the job when i needed him. point and click and there he was, smiling, laughing, polite, charming. i got such an amazing compliment that evening when i kept getting asked, "are you guys brother and sister?" no, not because of the fact they overlooked i was quite possibly 23 years older than the guy they thought was my brother (although after the days i had leading up to that evening, don't think i didn't LOVE THAT). it's because the relationship they saw wasn't one of me dominating him or him subservient to me. it was equals, level, a give and take of like-minded compadres. that made my night. hell, that made my whole year and there we were at the end of it.

i don't know if he ever fully realized just how much that evening meant and still means to me. how much it touched me to be able to share that moment with him, that struggle that became so easy because of him. he made it worth it. and i am forever grateful.

love you, jord-man.
truth.

The Ultimate of the Ultimate in Ultimatism

2007-12-15T14:02:00.000-06:00

it's the holidays. i like the holidays. i don't LOVE them, but i do warm to them quite a bit. i enjoy the cooking, the baking, the doing for others through food and love, but it can be stressful. here in kansas you can see the seasons change, feel the christmas-y vibe because of the snow, ice, etc. but there's just as much christmas-y/holiday joy in los angeles even if it's warm enough to sit on the beach right before dinner. it's in your heart. it's true. corny, perhaps, but true. i feel no closer to the christmas spirit as i did on the west coast and i don't jump into the cooking and baking of the season more here than there. however, because there's just the three of us and christmas usually means, well, a spread for a smaller crew than i'm used to, i am more creative than i was before. and that's made it even more fun. that diving into something with my eyes closed and a different kind of confidence.

we have friends coming over for dinner soon who were supposed to come by last weekend. we got an ice storm -- SOOOO new for me and incredibly creepy (and beautiful, actually. the trees glazed in ice, kinda blows your mind with how amazing it looks) -- and decided to hold off on it for another week or so. i had bought the food for our dinner, however, and i wanted to test it out on my kids before i had it for our friends and found this great recipe called HORSERADISH-BRAISED BRISKET WITH ROOT VEGETABLES from a cookbook called THE ULTIMATE COOKBOOK by Bruce Weinstein & Mark Scarbrough. The Ultimate Cookbook. what does that mean exactly? is it going to show me things i've never known in ways i've never known? is it the best that i've ever seen? will i become a MAGICIAN in the kitchen? (i'm such an ass, i know.) i'll tell you after i share what i made, how i made it with you. honest. is it ultimate? we'll see...

ingredients:
2 tbs canola oil
1 4-pound first-cut brisket, trimmed of most visible surface fat
2 medium onions, halved and thinly sliced
2 medium carrots, peeled nd cut into 1-inch pieces
2 medium parsnips, peeled and cut into 1-inch pieces
1 medium turnip, peeled and cut into 1-inch pieces
1 cup red wine
3 cups beef broth
2 tsps dijon mustard
2 tsps stemmed thyme or 1 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp salt, or more to taste
1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
2 bay leaves
3 tbs bottled white horseradish
1 tbs potato starch whisked into 1 tbs water in a small bowl, optional

what to do:

1. heat a large pot or Dutch oven over medium heat. swirl in the canola oil, then add the brisket. brown on both sides, turning once, about 8 minutes. transfer to a large cutting board; set aside.
2. add the onions, carrots, parsnips and turnip to the pot; cook, stirring often, until lightly browned, about 5 minutes.
3. pour in the wine and bring to a simmer, scrapping up any browned bits on the pot's bottom.
4. pour in the broth; swirl in the mustard until smooth. add the thyme, salt, pepper, and bay leaves. bring to a full simmer. nestle the brisket into the sauce. spread the horseradish on any exposed portion of the meat.
5. cover and place in the oven. bake until the meat is fork-tender, 3 to 3 1/2 hours (or even 4 hours, depending).
6. remove the meat an veggies from the pot. the brisket is quite tender by this point, so hold it up with a large spatula to keep it from breaking apart. place on a large cutting board. place the veggies on a serving platter.
7. if you want to thicken the sauce, set the pot over medium heat and bring the sauce to a simmer. whisk in the potato starch mixture; cook, whisking constantly, until slightly thickened, about 1 minute.
8. slice the brisket against the grain. place it on the serving platter. discard the bay leaves, check the sauce to see if it needs salt, and pour the sauce over the meat and veggies.

here's what we did:
we didn't use parsnips and turnips -- i'm not really a fan of either of those, which, ya know, means i don't have to use them if i don't wanna. we used potatoes instead -- which is something the book suggests as a substitution to the turnip at least. everything else we did was exactly the same as the book says with a little variations, i suppose. it's just how we do it here.

the report? well, the ultimate brisket is my sister-in-law's mom's brisket. no lie. omg. mimi's brisket is excellently yummy to the point that i fear even asking for the recipe. HOWEVER, this was great for a savory, yummy brisket. mim's is sweeter (i do believe it is glazed in brown sugar, thought i can't swear to it). it's terrific. the Ultimate Cookbook's brisket has the heat and tang from the horseradish and dijon, really tender from the cooking, wine and broth and, well, just a great flavor. i added some roasted garlic mashed potatoes to it, some great sauteed greens with bacon, garlic and balsamic vinegar -- really good stuff. nicholas and brandon loved it. they even devoured it in sandwiches when i sent it with them to school for lunch.

it was our first big deal dinner of the holiday season. and it was amazing.

was it the ultimate?
well, it was damn close.

Chicken, Malaysian Style

2007-12-10T21:37:00.000-06:00

i know i've told you about CRADLE OF FLAVOR, this cookbook that "ahs" me to no end. last time, all i made out of it was coconut rice and it was heavenly. honest. since i haven't been as faithful to my trusty blog, i knew you would forgive me (okay, HOPED) for jumping a little more heavily into a cookbook that takes my breath away. this time, i made something that had intrigued me since first reading through this amazing tome. it was NYONYA-STYLE SPICED FRIED CHICKEN, a 6 hour event at the very least, if done properly, and really something that should take a couple of days.

this is a long, drawn out recipe that is rather intensive, so i won't go into all the details. suffice it to say you need to marinate chicken in a wonderful paste/sauce made with shallots and cinnamon stick, beautiful spices like cumin, coriander, turmeric and fennel. lovely flavors like coconut milk with a kick from dried red chiles. you can use already cut chicken, but i like cutting down a whole chicken for this, because it seems to lend itself for more flavor to seep into the meat. and seep it did over the course of 4 hours of marinating (you can marinate overnight if you've got the time -- i actually had the time, just didn't organize myself well enough to get it done the night before), then you take the chicken out of this paste-like marinade, dry it off for better frying, then fry it in hot oil, about 1-inch worth. and, i'll tell you, this was juicy, flavorful and amazing over simple white rice with some glorious sauteed greens with garlic. oh, so good. brandon and i ate it together that night, because nicholas was out with his big bro. he had helped me put it all together and was so proud at the finished product. it took some time, but it was worth it.

funny. i've talked about this book before (by James Oseland) and can't stop wishing i could go there again, be in the midst of all of this amazing passion for flavorful, exciting cooking. looking through the book, touching it even, you know something unique is going on. i so highly recommend it, if for no other reason than to lose yourself for awhile. all of us want to travel somewhere exotic once in our life. this lets you do it every night in little ways, if you want. this sense of island beauty and wonder.

our meal was succulent, delicious and enticed all of our senses. life is good. so good.

Sarah Moulton Gets Me

2007-12-04T20:35:00.001-06:00

sara moulton is the food editor of gourmet magazine. sara moulton gets me. she is accessible, a working mom and she loves what she does. you can tell. i don't know if i learn from her as much as i go with her. there's nothing she does that makes me wonder "why the hell am i bothering with you when i could do that myself?" absolutely nothing. even if she's talking about things i know, i do, i have attempted, i still am intrigued by her. that's how i feel about nigella lawson, also. there's really nothing she does that gives me an "ah, ha!" moment, but everything she does is of interest to me. there's a committed passion that comes through them in everything they do -- in different ways, of course. i mean, nigella lawson is this lusty, richly life eating diva of british italian sensuality. she's a bit like the two fat ladies rolled into one with a little sophia loren thrown in. sara moulton is more of the nice home ec teacher who lets you get away with things, is married to the track coach and wears white keds with little white socks when she's being casual. whether any of that is true or not is really unimportant. it's more an observation than a truth, of course. but all of that is to say, sara moulton gets me and, so, i love cooking from her cookbook, SARA'S SECRETS FOR WEEKNIGHT MEALS. the dish we made this particular night is KOREAN STYLE BEEF WITH SPICY CABBAGE. let me just say that this is quick, easy and totally yum. oh, man. i'm not even gonna have you wait for the report card from us, cuz it was too good to hold back. really.

ingredients:
3 tbs soy sauce
2 scallions (white and green parts), thinly sliced (about 1/4 cup)
2 tbs rice vinegar
1 tbs dark brown sugar
2 tsps finely grated ginger
1 1/2 tsps toasted sesame oil
1 garlic clove, minced (about 1 tsp)
1 pound skirt steak
kosher salt and freshly milled black pepper
4 tbs vegetable oil
4 cups thinly shredded napa cabbage (about 1 pound)
1/4 pound snow peas, halved diagonally
1 tsp red pepper flakes

what to do:
1. whisk together the soy sauce, scallions, vinegar, brown sugar, ginger, sesame oil and garlic and set aside. season the steak with salt and pepper on both sides. cut into pieces, if necessary, in order to fit it all into the skillet
2. heat 2 tbs of the oil in a large skillet over high heat until hot; add the meat. sear the steak on both sides, 4 to 6 minutes total for medium-rare (which i, personally, prefer).
3. transfer the meat to a platter, cover loosely with foil, then let rest while you cook the cabbage. discard the fat in the skillet; heat the remaining 2 tbs oil in the same skillet over high heat until hot. reduce the heat to medium and add the cabbage and snow peas. saute for 3 minutes or until the cabbage is crisp-tender. add the snow peas, red pepper flakes and salt to taste; saute just until peas are hot, about 30 seconds.
4. to serve, slice the steak thin, against the grain, at an angle. add any juices from the platter to the soy sauce mixture and toss the meat with the sauce in the bowl. arrange a mound of cabbage on four plates; top with the meat and the sauce.

what we did:

first off, let me just tell you that this is a night when we got really into a show called DINNER: IMPOSSIBLE, for which i have a deep, nostalgic appreciation whenever i see it. brandon decided he was going to give me a test and it was this: he gave me three hours to put together an entree and an appetizer using two different meats. go. now, three hours SOUNDS like a lot of time, but when you don't have the meat thawed, it lowers your time considerably. so what i did was make this with some boneless short ribs (took 30 minutes to thaw) and for our appetizer i worked up a quick little dealy-bob with some leftover croutons i bad made for thanksgiving and really thinly sliced lamb. what i did was THAW THE FREAKIN' LAMB (i love my deep freezer, but geez) and, as it was still firm, thinly sliced it easily. and i mean REALLY thinly sliced it. i then seasoned it with some good kosher salt, some turns from the pepper mill, a little crushed, dried rosemary and garlic. i minced the garlic and sauteed it lightly in a pan of about 1 tbs olive oil then added the lamb and sauteed that for about 1 minute on each side (told you it was thin). then i rubbed the croutons with garlic, spread a very thin dollop of tomato paste on top, placed a leaf of basil on it, then the lamb (one slice, curled prettily), then a thin slice of fresh mozzarella and another dollop of the tomato paste. i put together about twelve of these little suckers, placed them in the oven for about 2 minutes (just until the cheese was melting) then took it out and served it. nicholas and brandon just about had a hissy fit of delight over this, so we have added it to our repertoire (and it will be repeated for christmas).

as for what we did with the Korean-Style Beef, well, we made it as it suggested, but without the snow peas (didn't have 'em) and, oh man, was it delectable. such amazing flavors and so quick and easy. really. honest. so quick. i've made this three times since that night and each time the boys devour it. they even like the cabbage enough to eat it all off their plate. no small feat, i'll tell you that.

i know my love of cooking helps in jumping into all of these, so the margin for error is pretty small. but it doesn't matter. even if we come across a recipe that LOOKS good, but TASTES yikes, i'll always adore this kind of dance in the kitchen. it's amazing. i had a great time doing my challenge (i won with 10 minutes to spare, by the way). we have fun with it and, ya know, that's the part of cooking i really appreciate. the delight of it all and the way my sons get completely into it, because of that.

excellent.

Why I love to cook...

2007-12-02T23:00:00.001-06:00

it's simple, really. it helps me face the day. my life. the world. sometimes, when it feels so, i don't know, out of control and open for way too much consideration, cooking something amazing -- even if it's just the best spiced olives you've ever had -- makes me slow my mind and just be. nothing does that for me like cooking and baking does. writing, which is my other escape, is now also my career. actual, making a living career. and although the writing i do to just fly away in my brain is far different than that i do in my day-to-day, it takes a lot of my emotional energy, in a good way, but still.

cooking takes just as much of me emotionally, but because of its tactile, specific hand-eye coordination basis, i can forget myself a bit more.

i've been cooking up a storm. i'm sorry i haven't been more forthcoming of late. i've been really stressed and crying a bunch. oh, no worries. i'm probably just pre-menopausal or something. or not. who cares? but i've been lost in a cloud of self-doubt and all that kind of fun stuff, so while i've been cooking, i haven't been sharing as much with you guys. and, because of that, i feel as if i need to go back through the cookbooks from which i've been cooking and get back on the ball of sharing with you. recook some of the things i've done or find new and exciting dishes in the cookbooks i haven't shared with you and dive in with a vengeance.

my heart always lightens when i'm in the kitchen, immersed in my pots and pans, my breadmaker and covered in flour. that's why i decided to become so proficient at cooking. because it brings out the peace in me. and to have it satisfy, to convey my emotions as succinctly as it does in such a visceral way, i wanted to be sure that whatever i created had the heart and the quality that would bring joy to others.

yes, i know. how incredibly polyanna and corny, but it's true. i love to cook, because it allows me to show, in a more tangible way, what i'm about inside. sometimes, late at night like this, after a rough moment when i'm lost and alone, i think about chucking it all, selling everything, packing up my kiddles and moving to france to truly experience food and cooking in the way my heart tells me -- with every fiber of my being. then travel the world -- morocco, turkey, egypt, spain, argentina, norway, germany -- and learn more, experience more, see more. to cook with such amazing skill, now that would be something. to learn so much more about what cooking is about, to give in to its siren song -- i think about it a lot. more and more, actually. and, yet, writing calls me with the same vengeance, the same jealous want. but, to do both? to be both and immerse myself in the possibilities of all that this passionate need inside of me begs me to do? is it ever too late to live life to its fullest and dream so large that it fills your soul to bursting?

i don't think so.
i don't think so.

Why I Didn't Cook Tonight...

2007-11-19T21:33:00.000-06:00

i didn't cook tuesday evening. well, not for the family and not dinner. i'll get to that in a moment, but for now, let me tell you about what i DID cook monday night.

this was, once again, one of those fairly labor intensive endeavors that felt like a really good idea.
at the time.
but was it really?
we'll see.

brandon had his football party that morning and i was feeling the need to do something inventive, compact and not too much stress. i grabbed one of my SAVEUR COOKS cookbooks and just so happened to pull AUTHENTIC AMERICAN: Celebrating the Recipes and Diverse Traditions of Our Rich Heritage. mmm... sounded good. it is put together by the editors of Saveur Magazine, my FAVE cooking magazine -- like you care, i know, but there ya go -- and i looked through it. it's got everything from Poke (pronounced "poky") which is a marinated, raw tuna dish from Hawaii, to Shrimp and Crab Etouffe (i'm a big fan of both). what i settled on, knowing my kids and how really fun this looked to make, was BIEROCKS (pronounced BEER-ocks). it's a Mennonite dish they brought from Russia and, well, it takes a little time.

did i have the time, you ask. do i ever really? i mean, i've read back through this blog and wondered who the hell is writing this and how the hell did she find the time to do this shit. sometimes, i look at the dishes we've just made and have no concept of what made me do this, how i've been doing this and where my brain has disappeared to. cooking every single night takes a lot of preparation and patience. although i'd love to say i'm a really patient person, i don't know if that's true or not. i just know that if it's gotta be done, i'm gonna gotta be doin' it. but i'm also a procrastinator and a flibbertigibbet, so that i've come this far at all has amazed me more than anyone. oh, and i've got obsessive compulsive tendencies with a touch of mania and delusions of grandeur.

i'm a well-rounded individual.

where was i? oh, yes, Bierocks. let me explain why i shall not be laying down how to do all of this. it's rather long and laborious, but that's nothing, really. this is, again, one of those things i recommend you go out and grab off the shelf and cook from. williams-sonoma is a lovely place, truly, and i wish i had the dough to shop there often. but, alas, i do not. however, i can tell you this about the Bierocks -- they are these great slightly sweet buns full of seasoned meat, cabbage and a touch of cheese. they rise, rest, rise again with the beef inside then you bake them off and they puff, get fluffy like a good fun should and you open them up and there it is... mmm...

so yummy.

why didn't i cook that next night?
well, as i read this, i realize that might need to be something for another day.
another day.

Tyler... Mm...

2007-11-18T18:08:00.000-06:00

tyler florence. ah... what can i say that i haven't already said? love the man, love the way he cooks, love his cookbooks... i'm a fan. i admit it. this evening, we decided to make something easy, yummy and reminiscent of grab and go mexican food at home... los angeles... whatever. i have two tyler florence books and i use them both regularly. this particular recipe is one i've never dried before although it's a dish i get with frequency at one of my favorite places called El Tarasco. this one is from EAT THIS BOOK by Tyler Florence (named this because he wanted to have this be a book you use so frequently and with such passion, it would be oil stained, pages falling apart and the book itself all around weathered with vast use). the recipe is MEXICAN STREET TACOS and when my sons heard what we were having for dinner last night, they couldn't wait. they're both mexican food afficianados. ah, yes.

ingredients:
2 ponds flank or skirt steak, trimmed of excess fat
Mojo (recipe follows)
olive oil, for coating the grill
kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
8 (7-inch) corn totillas
shredded romaine or iceberg lettice
chopped onion
crumbled queso fresco or grated monterey jack cheese
1 recipe pico de gallo
2 limes, cut into wedges

mojo ingredients:
4 garlic cloves, minced
2 jalapenos, minced
1 large handful fresh cilantro, finely chopped
kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
juice of 2 limes
juice of 2 oranges
2 tbs white vinegar
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil

what to do for mojo: cuz you're gonna need the mojo first
with a mortar and pestle, mash together the garlic, jalapenos, cilantro, salt and pepper to make a paste. put it in a glass jar. add the lime and orange juices, the vinegar and the oil, shake it up to combine.

what to do for everything:
1. lay the flank steak in a large baking dish and pour the mojo over it. wrap tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 1 hour for up to 8 hours, so the flavors can sink into the meat. (don't marinate the steak for more than 8 hours or the fibers will break down too much and the meat will get mushy.)
2. preheat an outdoor grill or a ridged grill pan over a medium-high flame (can also use a broiler). take a few paper towels and fold them several times to make a thick square. blot a small amount of oil on the towels, then carefully and quickly wipe the hot grates to make a nonstick grilling surface. pul the steak out of the mojo and season both sides with salt and pepper. grill (or broil) the steak for 7 to 10 minutes per side, turning once, until medium-rare. remove to a cutting board and let it rest for 5 minutes to allow the juices to settle. slice thin on an angle, across the grain.
3. while the steak is resting, warm the tortillas for 30 sconds on each side in a dry skillet or on the grill, until toasty and pliable. to serve, put two of the warm tortillas on your work surface. lay about an eighth of the beef down on the center of each, sprinkle with the condiments and garnish with the lime wedges. repeat to make 6 more tacos.

here's what we did:
once more, we did not have the jalapenos, so we used red pepper flakes. i've got to buy some jalapenos next market trip. we cook way too much of this stuff for it not to be here. okay, and, yes, i had a flank steak and oranges limes, garlic, cilantro, and so forth. so it was the jalapenos that we didn't have, otherwise we were fine. we let the steak marinate for just over an hour then grilled it on -- yep -- my george foreman grill. tyler florence, a george foreman grill -- who could ask for anything more?

so we had this, some grapes and sat back in heaven. this was a terrific meal, simple, flavorful and good. we felt, for just a moment, that we were walking down Olvera Street in Los Angeles, listening to the music and just hanging.

sometimes it's just nice to disappear for a minute.
with good food and family.
yep.
that'll work.

Warming Yums

2007-11-17T20:24:00.000-06:00

soup is a friend of mine. i know i've said this before, but i adore soup. it doesn't matter what time of year it is, soup is a wonderful, marvelous thing. my affection for soup reminds me of that stevie nicks song where she sings, "she wears boots all summer long." i have dedicated that song to my friend, elizabeth, every year in my mind, because she definitely wears boots through the summer -- she's a horsewoman -- but my adoration of soup is timeless like the boots of the song. tonight, i decided that soup was a god deal considering how chilly willy it was. and not just any soup, but soup with character. soup with bite. soup to kick cold's ass. this usually means, to me, asian soups, because of the flavors they employ to warm your soul. cilantro and ginger and coconut milk and lemongrass... ah, delightful bits of freshness. i was also missing my mom a bit this evening -- i have a confession to make, i miss my mom a lot daily and often through the day and, especially, while i'm cooking. i wouldn't be cooking if not for my mom, at least not with the passion i feel for it, and i'll explain that at the end. because i was missing her so much, i went for a book that once belonged to her, one of those dated wonders i love to use from time to time and see how i can update it -- remember the seafood torte? yep, that's not one of hers, but you get the picture. anyway, this book is by the famed novelist PEARL S. BUCK (i HAD to read The Good Earth in elementary school, i CHOSE to be swept away by it), it has her white-haired photo on the cover, smiling serenely , wearing a rather beautiful silk Chinese jacket, black beads and holding laquered chopsticks in her hand, poised and ready to eat. the book is titled: PEARL S. BUCK'S ORIENTAL COOKBOOK: A RICH AND VARIED COLLECTION OF THE BEST DISHES FROM ALL OF ASIA BY AMERICA'S BEST-LOVED NOBEL PRIZE WINNER. wow. that's quite a claim not just about the oriental food -- oriental, could you just die? -- you are about to attempt, but the author herself. i had no idea she was the best-loved nobel prize winner in 1972 (the year this book was published). not to dis ol' pearl, but a bunch of folks had won the nobel prize by then. i wonder if creating a cookbook ups your approval rating or something.

but, i digress...

this book is old enough to employ and offer as one of its ingredients msg. i have a couple of such ancient chinese/asian cookbooks given me by my mother that list this as an ingredient. it brings a huge smile to my face. the recipe i chose is from the Korean section of her cookbook -- the book is split into regional sections -- Indonesia, Thailand, Burma, India-Pakistan (can't we all just get along?), China, The Philippines, Indochina, Korea, Malaysia and Japan. the recipe is simply called CHICKEN SOUP and this is how it went:

ingredients:
1 medium-sized chicken
2 green onions, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
dash pepper
6 tbs soy sauce
1 tsp salt

what to do:
1. remove the chicken from the bones, cut into small cubes and place in a bowl. put the bones in a pot with 5 cups water and simmer for an hour.
2. while the broth is cooking, add the onions, including the tops, garlic, pepper and soy sauce to the chicken and mix well. cook in a frying pan to brown the chicken completely.
3. remove the chicken bones from the broth, measure the broth and add enough water to make 2 quarts. return the liquid to the pan, add the chicken and salt then cook over medium heat until tender. serve hot.

simple, easy, pretty fast for a soup, right?
here's what we did:
i had some chicken pieces already thawed, so we used those, pulled the meat off the bones and cut it just like pearl says. i did a 2 cups of chix broth to 3 cups of water ratio for the bone simmering liquid. i didn't have any green onions -- which kind of blew my mind, since i buy green onions like i buy mustard, always figuring i don't have it so i buy it only to discover i have 4 jars -- so i used a shallot, which i minced. i also chopped up some fresh ginger -- about 1 tsp. of it -- a handful of cilantro and a half a head of spinach. i added the cilantro and spinach to the broth with the chicken, and also put in half pound of al dente spaghetti noodles for heartiness. pure soup for dinner freaks out brandon, who does not consider soup a meal, unless it's super hearty and served in bread bowls. i do believe this is a trait he inherited from my father, who felt the same way even though he had a crappy appetite and just getting him to eat anything was a triumph.

the response? nicholas loved it. he ate two bowls. brandon ate some, slathered it with hot sauce, ate some more than left it. he liked it, but it was still too brothy not to make it out of the distinction of soup for dinner and he kept looking at me waiting for the entree.

i reminded him he already had one.

i, personally, loved it. but, then again, i love soup, so there.

cooking and my mother, ah, yes... my mother could cook like nobody's business. she had a way with food that was so full of love, you could taste it in every bite. not everything she made was a success. oh, no. or at least appealled to my taste. i've mentioned the salmon croquettes and meatloaf (yikes), the cabbage rolls. i haven't mentioned the oxtails and noodles -- couldn't stand oxtails -- the Bird's Eye Frozen vegetable extravaganza that made me hate brussels sprouts and vegetable medleys forever and ever, amen. but, she put her heart into everything she made -- her fried chicken is legend, her baked ham a true legacy, her baked Ob's Chicken (a dish created in homage to my father), stuffed pork chops (sigh) and her barbecue... oh, man. she cooked for us every night. EVERY STINKIN' NIGHT. and it wasn't like my mom didn't have a life. my mom got very into songwriting, so she took a couple of night courses in songwriting at UCLA -- although, this was a time when i was put in charge of cooking (i was 12ish) and Hamburger Helper became a pretty good friend of mine. she got involved in the community, so she was on the board of Neighbors of Watts, a group of women of substance and means that banded together on behalf of the beleagured city after the Watts riots (she became president of NOW when i was a senior in high school) and she was always on the entertainment/event planning committee for their yearly, very lavish benefit which included her enlisting us all to help her MAKE the centerpieces for the table. yes, i said MAKE. my mother made all of the centerpieces. she became president of the BHSD chapter of the PTA when i was in 8th grade, and she played tennis just about everyday. as well as accompanying my dad to any work events and was a volunteer at the Maple Center, a place for teens to go and deal with their substance abuse and other issues in Beverly Hills. my mom once told me she was in awe of all of the experiences i had been through in my life and how i continued to keep going, juggle everything and so forth. i looked at her as if she was crazy. my life, to me, was nothing compared to all that she was about. funny, how it's so hard to see our gifts through what we view as our failings, isnt it?

but back to mom and cooking. watching her and having her welcome me into her kitchen brought this immense love of all things culinary into my life. she was the one who sat with me and laughed in delight over Graham Kerr and Julia Childs (and she would clap when i would do my Julia Childs impersonation). we would bake together, cook together and she allowed all of us full reign of the kitchen to make our own masterpieces on the weekends. when saturday came, we were the masters of our own breakfasts and lunches, and a lot of really doughy pancakes came out of those weekends as well as some excellent dishes i still play with to this day. and that is because my mother encouraged our creativity in everything we did. love her or not with other things in our lives, that was something i have never forgotten.

a little story that brings us back to the soup thing: when my mom was first married, she was very young and still learning about cooking and things like that. one night, my mom made this excellent vegetable beef soup. she was really proud of herself. she added a salad and some crusty bread, beaming with pride when she served it all up to her brand new, larger than life husband. he ate it down with gusto, complimented her on it then asked, "now, what's for dinner?" kind of how brandon looks at soup. like grandfather, like grandson :o)

when i was about 27, i was sitting in my parents' kitchen in their home in Las Vegas, hanging with my mom who was heating up something we'd brought back from dinner out the night before. we did a lot of dinner out when my parents moved to Las Vegas. actually, we mostly did dinner out once my parents moved there. we were just chillin', ya know, and i don't remember how we got onto the subject of her cooking when she sighed and looked at me, seriously, and said, "baby, i hate cooking. i sincerely do." i just stared at her in amazement, remembering the incredible meals my mother made us, the love she poured into it and the all nighters she would pull just before parties we'd have that led to MAJOR screaming fights with my dad. the spread would be incredible and there was always plenty -- my mom was a brilliant hostess married to a "i'm happy to have you in my house as long as i'm happy to have you in my house and when i'm no longer happy to have you in my house, i will let you know" man.

"but..." i began, completely floored, "you're so good at it, mom. i don't mean just, ya know, technically, but the food tastes of you, of your heart."

my mother smiled at me and said, "cooking for you all made it easy to deal with for a time, but cooking for just the two of us? and you know your father's appetite..." she just shook her head, wrinkling her nose.

my father, since i could remember, had a really horrible appetite. he'd sit with us at dinner, take a couple of bites, but always had his plate of leftovers sitting on the counter, covered in foil or plastic wrap and ready for him during his midnight snacking vigils. and even then, he might just take a few bites more. one plate of food could last my dad for days.

"i hate cooking, honey. always have."

she shrugged, at a loss, and i sat there, stunned. my mother hated cooking. who knew?
but her love for me, her desire to encourage that creativity inside of us in whatever form it was taking instilled this immense love of cooking. she allowed me to discover myself in the kitchen, she opened doors for me and supported whatever doors i walked through when it came to food.

now, my mom lives in an assisted living facility near malibu, gives into the diva she always really was and enjoys being pampered by the staff. she doted on us while we were growing up, so i figure she deserves that. she cooked when she hated it and never once tipped her hand by letting us taste that. because she loved us and that's what we tasted -- her love for us beyond her dislike of the means by which to show us. my mother loved us enough to face the dreaded stove and oven daily to give us not just sustenance, but inspiration -- to push herself into excellence so we walked away feeling special because of her gift.

how many of us can say that?

Muy Bien, Y Tu?

2007-11-15T19:02:00.000-06:00

i love mexican food. i'm a native los angeleno, so i suppose that would go without saying, except not really. we didn't go out to dinner a lot when i was a kid, because my dad's schedule was pretty crazy and when he had a free night, he wanted to just chill at home. it was cool, because my mom was a really good cook and she'd let us help in the kitchen. but on those rare occasions when we would go out, half of the time it was to a restaurant my father (who was a member of The Gourmet Society with my mom) had checked out from his chi-chi gourmet friends which meant dressing up, reservations and trying new things like escargot with garlic butter (swoon worthy even at age 9) and seafood linguine in a tomato vodka sauce (also worth the nap i had to take to be allowed to stay up late enough to eat it). the other have were our regulars -- Twin Dragon, a Chinese place to which i still flock whenever i'm back in l.a.; Hamburger Hamlet -- the one off sunset not the one on Beverly Drive; Don the Beachcomber, a rather delightful Polynesian restaurant in Marina del Rey (long gone now); Farrells Soda Fountain (my brother was always determined to eat the Trough, a fairly sizable ice cream monstrosity that got you the actual trough you ate it from if you succeeded -- skinny guy that he was, he always succeeded -- the jerk) and La Fonda, a Mexican restaurant in downtown Los Angeles well known for their mariachi. without fail, whenever my father would ask if we were in the mood for Mexican food, i would always say, "NO!!!", which was always outvoted by my family (as you probably have guessed, i was more interested in going to Twin Dragon for Chinese or a restaurant long gone from Los Angeles and usurped by Benihana, Pear Garden for Japanese). and we'd go to La Fonda, me dragging my feet and my "lip on the ground" (my father's favorite saying for when i would pout) then order Arroz con Pollo and be in heaven while the mariachi serenaded us. once there, i didn't want to be anywhere else, but getting me there as a kid took a LOT of doing.

now, however, i adore mexican food. i admit it, give into it, and cook it often. i miss that about Los Angeles, because my sons and i had our favorites -- still have our favorites -- and spent our fair share of time hanging at Olvera Street downing mexican food. tonight, we decided to try a cookbook i've had for a fair amount of time, but have yet to cook from. i have Diana Kennedy's mexican cookbook and i use it a ton, so i had never cracked open this one. it is also by a well-known and accomplished mexican food cook, RICK BAYLESS and is called MEXICAN EVERYDAY. as i read through it, it reminded me of my Let's Eat Japanese cookbook with its great stories and accessibility with the recipes. i chose CHICKEN IN TANGY ESCABECHE OF CARAMELIZED ONIONS, CARROTS AND JALAPENOS, or Pollo en Escabeche de Cebollas Caramelizadas, Zanahorias y Jalapenos. whatever you like.

ingredients:
1 tsp ground black pepper
1/2 tsp ground allspice
2 tsps dried oregano, preferably Mexican
salt
4 (2 pounds total) chicken breast halves, bones and skin intact
2 tbs vegetable or olive oil
1 large white onion, cut into 1/4-inch slices
2 large carrots, peeled if you wish and sliced 1/4 inch thick on a diagonal
4 garlic cloves, peeled and halved
1/4 cup vinegar (apple cider vinegar is traditional)
2 to 4 pickled jalapenos, stemmed, seeded and thinly sliced
1 cup chicken broth

what to do:
1. combine the spices, including 1 tsp salt, in a small bowl. sprinkle half the mixture over the chicken.
2. heat the oil in a very large (12") skillet over medium. lay in the chicken, skin side down, and cook, turning once, until richly browned (about 3-4 minutes per side). remove the chicken to a plate, leaving behind as much oil as possible.
3. add the onions and carrots and stir frequently, cooking until the onions are browned, about 7 minutes. add the garlic and stir for about 1 minute, then add the remaining seasoning mixture, the vinegar, jalapenos and broth. nestle the chix pieces, skin side up, in the onion mixture, cover the skillet (a cookie sheet or pizza pan work well here) and simmer gently over medium low until the chix is cooked just through, about 15 minutes.
4. taste the broth and salt as necessary. transfer a piece of chix to a dinner plate, spoon over the juicy veggies, then serve.

here's what we did:
first off, we used skinless and boneless chix thighs and chicken legs, skin on. we didn't use carrots, because, as i've said before, I HATE COOKED CARROTS. SO, since carrots are root vegetables, i used potatoes, yukon gold, which are also root vegetables (i'm SO agriculturally proficient). i also didn't have jalapenos -- oddly enough, i had a HUGE jar of these guys from one of my old catering jobs way back when and i just got rid of it before we moved here. go figure. i added a couple of pinches of red pepper flakes to add heat and was REALLY excited about the brown bits that came up with this adding of the broth and vinegar. when i saw those guys get all saucey, floaty in the broth, i was in heaven and the smell was DELICIOUS. but would it be as good as it smelled?

yes. simple yes. the flavors were simple and good, the semi-soupyness just right for the chilly night and nicholas and brandon completely chowed down. i added some nice, cooling celery sticks to the whole thing as a side -- just fresh, raw and chilled -- and it topped off the heat really well. even the broth had the boys happy.

i think i love rick bayless as much as i love tyler florence.

what's a girl to do?

The Perfect Burger?

2007-11-15T18:39:00.001-06:00

perhaps there are things in life to which we will never attain. a washboard stomach after two kids and a c-section (although it doesn't stop me from trying), perfectly straight hair during a fog filled evening (the frizzing of my curls MUST NOT BE DENIED) and the perfect hamburger. what is that, anyway? i mean, what is perfect to me may not be perfect to you, right? i might like a cheese that you don't like, condiments that make you gag, sides that can either make or break the entire meal in either of our opinion. however, this book i decided to use on monday night claimed i would be making, if not the PERFECT burger, the BEST BURGER, courtesy of the Williams-Sonoma family of cookbooks called ESSENTIALS OF GRILLING: Recipes and Techniques for Successful Outdoor Grilling by, yes, the staff at Williams-Sonoma. i have several such odes to perfect cuisine courtesy of this retail fabulosity, however, i chose this one for that evening because, well, just because, i guess. we were bound and determined to have a burger and while i have a personal recipe i always use from memory, since i'm on this quest to use up my cookbooks (dammit!), i decided to use a recipe. uh, huh.

shut up.

and, so, here is what The Best Burger consisted of or, certainly, TOLD me it consisted of:

ingredients:
2 1/4 pounds freshly ground (minced) beef chuck
salt and freshly ground pepper
6 crusty rolls
sliced cheese, such as mild cheddar or monterey jack
sliced mild onion
sliced tomato
sliced dill pickle
cooked bacon slices
tender leaf lettuce
good-quality tomato ketchup
dijon or whole-grain mustard

what to do:
1. prepare a charcoal or gas grll for direct grilling over high heat off the grill rack.
2. divide the meat into 6 equal portionas. dampen our hands, then pat each portion into a patty 4-4 1/4 inches in diameter and about 3/4 inch thick. take care not to handle the meat more than necessary or to compact the patties too much. salt and pepper all sides.
3. for charcoal: grill the burgers over the hottest part of the fire, turning once, until nicely charred and cooked to your liking, 4 1/2 to 6 minutes per side for medium. about 1 minute before the burgers are done, place the buns, cut sides down, at the edge of the grill where the heat is less intense and grill until lightly toasted.
for gas: grill burgers directly over the heat elements, turning once, until nicely charred and cooked to your liking, again that 4 1/2 to 6 minute rule per side. do the same things with the buns.
4. assemble the burgers in the buns with the embellishments of choice. serve at once.

here's what we did:
FIRST of all, i need to tell you this about the burger universe -- do not, i repeat, DO NOT press down on your burgers as they cook. all the yummy juice will just squeeze out and you will have what is similar to a hockey puck on your hands. i know you see people do this at grills all the time, burger places and the whole deal. do not do this. PLEASE. also, i need to tell you this -- when i saw the list of condiments for THE BEST BURGER, my first thought was "who are you to tell me which TWO cheeses i can use here?" as well as "what if i don't WANT crusty buns?" then i got off my high horse and realized this is merely a GUIDELINE for the best burger. dress for your own success.

but, there's more. i am one of those people who has discovered quite a happy peppy little formula for my burgers that makes my sons rather happy. i did not do that at all here. i chose to make the burger, for the most part, just like it said to make it in the cook book -- salt and pepper ONLY in the seasoning. HOWEVER, i did not just season the outsides. i mooshed up the whole thing with some kosher salt and freshly ground pepper, formed the patties then seasoned them again. the REASON they tell you not to put salt INSIDE the burgers is that belief the juices will run out in horror at the sodium monster. just for the record, it's been my experience that if you don't overly handle your meat, your juices will not fear your salt. they will embrace the salt and become very good traveling companions. but that's my experience after a lot of years of doing this shit. if yours is different, then, please, do what works for you.

to this burger i added sharp white cheddar cheese slices, a yummy sesame bun that we toasted and a lovely slice of fresh lettuce. i topped it all with whole-grain mustard and some ketchup. i baked some french fries drizzled lightly with olive oil and tossed with a little salt, freshly ground pepper, and dried herbs and garlic (375ºF for about 15-20 minutes, i guess). to this we added some wonderful pears and the evening was complete.

The Best Burger? hmm... i don't know if that's really the case. it was quite a good burger. my sons were happy little campers as they devoured it, so that says a lot.

happy campers make life a lot easier.

I... Am... Crazy...

2007-11-11T18:11:00.001-06:00

sometimes i realize just what a dork i am. it doesn't take much for me to recognize my dorkyness. it's pretty on the surface in my day-to-day life. however, when i do see this aspect of my personality, i have to decide -- do i fall apart in my dork discovery or do i go with it and make it work for me?

i don't always make the right decision either way, but i certainly make a decision.

this time, i decided to go with it. this was the last weekend of football -- a weekend long tournament. both boys played HARD and deserved a pretty great dinner that night for all that work. they love homemade pizza, so i decided i would do that, and we had been talking about my making homemade cinnamon rolls for awhile. that was their extra special something for the night. and as i began putting everything together, i started laughing. because both of these little beauties of dishes requires rising, kneading, serious prep before cooking. ha... ha... oy...

and here, for the first time, i won't be leaving behind a recipe for you. and here's why --

there are a lot of things put together over the course of these three cookbooks:

THE ITALIAN COOKING ENCYCLOPEDIA: The definitive professional guide to Italian ingredients and cooking techniques, including 300 step-by-step recipes all compiled by CArla Capalbo, Kate Whiteman, Jeni Wright & Angela Boggiano;
TODAY'S COUNTRY COOKING from The Cooking Club of America and authored by John Schumacher; and, last,
BREAD BAKERY, the bread machine book of instructions and recipes

ITALIAN COOKING ENCYCLOPEDIA is a staple of my kitchen. it is a monolithic, 500 page tome of Italian food expertise and each and every recipe is enhanced with step-by-step photos that go along with the step-by-step directions. it... is... amazing and so incredibly cool. it was out of here that we made our pizza dough, which we make quite frequently, and out of which we have made a lot of stuff. and i mean a lot of stuff. this is a GREAT cookbook and if you were to never buy another Italian cookbook as long as you lived, having this would be fine.

TODAY'S COUNTRY COOKING is a new one for me. i used it for some of the elements of my cinnamon rolls and you can only get it, unfortunately, by being a member of the Cooking Club of America which, as you can tell, i am.

and then, really stupid, yes, i know, but surprisingly helpful and good, is BREAD BAKERY which only comes with, yep, my bread machine. the actual dough for the cinnamon rolls were in here.

this was a day of mixing and matching elements, truly using the recipes as bases. the pizza was light and wonderful -- i even ate a slice and i do not eat pizza... ever. and it's not because i made it. it's because the recipe for this dough is, i think, excellent and very simple. our base for the pizza was also simple -- excellent mozzarella, very basic tomato basil sauce liberally brushed on the dough, hand forming the dough, oive oil, herbs and baking until bubbly and golden. the chinnamon rolls were buttery, cinnamony and just the right kind of sweet. this was a simple, homey dish also glazed with a creamy vanilla glaze.

it was a huge late afternoon undertaking, because of the rising, second rising and proofing that goes into this stuff. we were all exhausted -- them more than i, for sure -- and then taking the time for this meant a lot to them, so it meant a lot to me.

hey, i like my boys. they drive me absolutely bonkers sometimes and irritate the hell out of each other more often than i'd like (or they'd like, i would imagine), but i enjoy them as people. they're unique, interesting and very loving. to be able to put my heart into this crazy couple of dishes meant a lot to them, brought them joy.

i made two time consuming dishes for my kids without ONCE thinking how ridiculously overworked i would be if i did this. i could have easily just made something else, ya know. gone to the store, bought a flat bread and used it as a base for pizza toppings, gotten some refrigerated dough and done a take on a cinnamon roll. as i realized the magnitude of what i was doing and how i was being a total dork of obliviousness again, it was that time i decided to just go with it and be ridiculously overworked for all the right reasons.
nicholas and brandon.
and, no, i'm no saint of a mother, trust me. it's just that doing these little things for them is worth any amount of time or effort it takes me beyond what i would normally do.
tonight may be a grilled cheese night.
actually, i'm sure of it.
but really good grilled cheese on some homemade bread.
that'll work.

Lusty Flavors

2007-11-09T21:04:00.001-06:00

i have a cookbook that brings a chill down my spine every single time i look at it. hard to believe that out of 220 of these suckers -- and countless cooking mags, articles, old newspaper recipes and things i've found on the net -- that i have this one book that makes me shiver with antici...pation. it's not the ONLY one that brings a tear of joy to my eye, but it's the latest one. it's pages hold some of the most extraordinarily elaborate and passionate dishes i have ever seen. i dream of one day going to al of the countries it embodies and it wasn't until last night, as i was reading through it, that i realized i had been to two of the three upon which it focuses and recalled how much i enjoyed eating in each of them. from roadside food stands to elaborate feasts, these were some of the most memorable culinary experiences i had gone through.

the book is CRADLE OF FLAVOR -- pretty cool title, i think -- Home Cooking form the Spice Islands of Indonesia, Malaysia and Singapore. it is by James Oseland and he, like Tyler Florence, is my hero. the book itself is wonderful, yes. the recipes a delight, the pictures gorgeous. but it is the stories that captivate me even more. the way he sets up his recipes and talks about his experiences in putting together this book. i have had the opportunity to be in indonesia and singapore. i was to go to malyasia, but that part of my journey was cancelled at the last minute and i went back to singapore. there's a part of me looking for that experience over and over and this book gives it.

the recipes are also very elaborate, because of the layering of flavors. that makes me want to use it more and buy things like plantains and dried shrimp paste; lemongrass and glass noodles when i'm at the store for milk and toilet paper. they have a whole section just for tempeh, tofu and eggs. k'yeah. this whole aroma comes to mind when i read the recipes and i read them like they're magical fairytales. such passion and attention to the entire experience of each dish makes me warm to this book and type of cuisine even more. it's so full of life and communal enjoyment. this is also the very first time i've used this cookbook since i got it and since i had already made the roasted chicken the night before, i decided to make a side for it using Cradle of Flavor. i made LEMONGRASS-SCENTED COCONUT RICE, which, considering how our chicken was made, seemed like a good idea.

check it out:

ingredients:
2 cups jasme rice
3 thick stalks fresh lemongrass, tied into a knot
1 1/2 cups water
1 cup unsweetened coconut milk
1 tsp kosher salt
10 whole daun salam leaves (large, grass like leaves that impart a vanilla flavor -- if you can't find them, omit them -- they're optional in this and are available at Chinese or Asian markets)
2 tbs crisp fried shallots (optional)

what to do:
1. place the rice in a 1 1/2 or 2 quart saucepan. fill the pot halfway with cold water. if any rice hulls or small twigs float to the surface, scoop them out and toss. gently swirl your fingers through the rice until the water becomes cloudy, about 20 seconds. don't work the rice too hard, because you don't want it to crack. let hte rice settle for a few seconds then tilt the pot over a sink and drain out all the water, cupping the rice with your hand to prevent it from spilling from the pot. repeat the whole process 3 more changes of water. by the last rinse, the water will be much less cloudy. it doesn't need to be completely clear. drain after the last water change and leave the rinsed rice in the pot.
2. add the lemongrass, cooking water, coconut milk, salt and daun salam leaves (if using). stir well to combine, making sure the lemon grass and leaves are as fully submerged as possible.
3. place the pot over high heat and bring the liquid to a boil, sitrring with a large spoon to prevent the rice at the bottom of the pot from scorching or burning. it may thicken a lot, but that will be from the coconut milk. boil for 15 seconds, continuing to stir to prevent the rice at the bottom from scorching or burning. immediately reduce the heat to the lowest setting and cover the pot tightly with the lid. continue cooking for 15 minutes. don't lift the lid.
4. remove the pot from the heat and allow the rice to continue to steam, covered, off heat, for 10 more minutes.
5. remove the lemongrass and daun salam leaves. fold the rice over with a spoon, evenly distributing the aromatic flavors that may be concentrated in pockets in the rice. transfer the rice to a deep serving bowl and fluff it well with a fork.

what we did:
we did an optional ginger scented cocnut rice, because we didn't have daun salam leaves. we took a 2 inch piece of ginger, peeled it and bruised it until it was juicy and used it in place of the daun salam. we also didn't have lemongrass, which is a severe drag, because i like cooking with it -- i have a great recipe that uses lemongrass for a tea -- so we went with lime -- not at all the same, but whatchagonnado? it had a citrus vibe that was gonna have to be close enough. i also didn't have jasmine rice -- which was weird, because i could have SWORN i had it (love that stuff) and then as i looked, i realized i had used it a couple of weeks ago with every intention of replenishing it.
bummer.
or was it?

the kids liked it well enough. oh, it didn't bowl them over, but it was a nice little addition to our chicken and salad. i loved it, but i'm a rice whore, so there ya go. i am making this again and often. but i will tell you how this worked out so well. leftover rice for fried rice.
oh, yeah.

i made myself a little lunch yesterday of a handful of chopped leftover chicken, chopped ham, both sauteed until a little crisp and browned, some cilantro, mushrooms, and chopped omelet and a handful of chopped shrimp -- sauteed with curry powder, ponzu sauce and garlic chili paste. i sauteed up some chopped garlic and ginger, tossed everything together then topped it with some leftoever rice, cooked that up until it was heated through and full of the goodies, topped this with some hoisin sauce -- about 1/4 tsp. -- ponzu sauce and black sesame seeds. it was GREAT! oh, man. the yummiest lunch i've had in a long time.

a little bit about rice: rice is serious business, once you get into it. i've probably said this before, maybe i haven't. i dunno. the massaging of rice, washing it, handling it as a general rule is very methodical. you need to put your hands in it, feel it as you prep it for cooking. and the ratio of water to rice is always an issue -- do i do a 2 to 1 sort of deal or do i do 1 - 1 1/2? and does it REALLY matter if i wash my rice, i mean, who cares?

there are different types of rice -- long grain, short grain, black, white, brown, wild (which isn't a rice at all, but a plant), medium grain, sweet and on and on. my recommendation -- and what has helped me in my rice cooking life -- is to really take a look at the asian rice cooking recommendations and follow those. there is a high respect for the grain and they have discovered the best ways to work with all forms of it.

another night, another meal, another walk down a culinary road with my kiddles.
pretty cool.

Difficult Simplicity

2007-11-09T18:41:00.000-06:00

roasting chickens are an art. ask any french cooking teacher or chef or anyone. roasted chicken takes a finessing that is more in the knowing than in the doing. or so i've learned.

tonight or, better yet, last night, we didn't use a recipe. sorry. i got home, things were crazed, i prepped a chicken for roasting, then had to leave for a basketball game with brandon. so, i brought out our meatball toasts, heated those while the chicken finished cooking and put some fruit with it, there ya go, eat up, let's go.

however, the chicken i make is based upon a recipe i created/learned a LONG time ago and i will try to recreate this for you, but here's the truth about roasting chicken --

often, you will discover, your roast chicken is overcooked or undercooked. it happens to ALL of us. i must say that it has been my experience that things like roasted chicken, a perfect turkey -- also very difficult -- great pork chops, lamb that doesn't taste gamey and ick, duck that isn't too fatty, good bread, well-baked goods and hollandaise sauce (oh, and poached eggs) are, well, a feeling. a feeling, yes. and pie crust. you FEEL when it's good. it takes practice and a willingness to fail in order to become proficient at any of these. practice. i adore cooking and the way it makes me feel inside to create things for my family that make them smile and feel loved, so i'm willing to fail in order to succeed. i trust my palate to my own hand instead of constantly fearing my own hand with my tastebuds then trusting my tongue to a stranger who doesn't know me at all. it's not because i'm super confident. it's because i'm completely ignorant of my failings in the kitchen. really. it's that simple and stupid.

i swear.

and so, here is the roast chicken i put in the oven last night that we are eating in the next little bit with something terrific you will see in the next post. or, at least, i hope is terrific.

linda's roast chicken
ingredients:
1-3 to 4 pound whole chicken
good quality olive oil
rosemary (fresh or dried)
thyme (fresh or dried)
kosher salt
freshly ground pepper
1 whole head of garlic, the tip cut
1 whole lime or lemon, cut in half

what to do:
1. preheat the oven to 375ºF. rub the chicken with olive oil all over, even under the skin. be careful when you go under the skin, because you don't want to break it, because it protects the meat and keeps in the moisture.
2. if using fresh herbs, you'll be stuffing them inside of the cavity of the chicken, so we'll get there in a minute. but if you want to use dried herbs, sprinkle them over the chicken and into the cavity. if you've got the time and a mortar and pestle, then crush the herbs first to release the oils that really bring out the flavor and sprinkle them over and inside the chix. liberally salt and pepper the chicken all over, even the underside (same with the dried herbs) and inside the cavity. rub, rub, rub -- feel free to massage the chix. if using fresh herbs, salt and pepper the inside the cavity before you put in a few sprigs of herbs inside.
3. after that is all done, put in the garlic head, that has been sliced to reveal the top of the cloves thereby releasing the flavor, and the lime or lemon, sliced in half lengthwise, then put into the cavity. if you want to squeeze it lightly around the whole chicken, go ahead. i do and it adds a really nice tang.
4. roast the chicken for about 1-1 1/2 hours at 375º WITHOUT BASTING. i think i may have said that the purpose of the skin of a chicken is to keep things out, not let things in, so to baste it really makes no sense. so, don't baste it. if you're totally married to basting, then who am i to dissuade you? but, i NEVER, EVER DO and the chicken comes out moist and faboo.

like i said, i go by feeling with chicken rather than temperature. but, if memory serves, when a chicken is 165 or something with a meat thermometer, take it out of the oven, tent it and let it rest for 15 minutes. it'll continue to cook. check temp. in the meaty part of the thigh, do not touch the bone. your reading will be off.

a really good roast chicken is SPECTACULAR, as i'm sure you know. a well-stocked pantry to enhance that chicken is even better. let me tell you about mine:

i keep my pantry as well-stocked as i can, because we enjoy and cook a ton of different types of foods, however, i also like unique types of food that require unique types of pantry items. to me, my pantry is ALWAYS lacking, because for all we cook, you would assume i would have more or i would like to have more. i realize in stating what i actually do keep in my pantry, others may stare at me in disbelief and say, "you don't think you're well-stocked enough? puh-LEASE!" but, hey, i still believe what i believe.

these days, i keep the basics in my pantry -- real vanilla (don't EVER use imitation vanilla, unless you're doing a baking job that requires pure white fondant or frosting with a vanilla flavor, then use imitation, but it better be a really good paying job), dried herbs like rosemary, oregano, thyme, savory, sage, parsley, mint, dill, basil, bay leaves and vanilla beans. i use a lot of vanilla beans. i also keep ground cumin, nutmeg, cardamom, turmeric, garam masala, curry, chili powder, red pepper flakes, cayenne, season salt, whole peppercorns -- multi-colored, white and black (couldn't find pink here, but if i could, i'd have those as well -- i use a coffee grinder to grind my whole spices when i need them) -- five spice powder, cardamom pods, coriander seeds, whole cloves, allspice seeds, fennel seeds, black and white sesame seeds, lavender, saffron (yep, it's worth it to me), chicken boullion cubes and paprika (hungarian, preferably). i also have dried mustard, good raw honey, real maple syrup, almond extract (some of the stuff i bake calls for it), real lemon extract (again, the baking thing), olive oil, sesame oil, vegetable oil, balsamic vinegar, red wine vinegar, sherry wine vinegar, rice vinegar (seasoned and unseasoned), worcestershire sauce, soy sauce (regular and low sodium), organic chicken broth, beef broth, beef consomme, stick cinnamon, ground ginger (i always keep tons of real ginger in my fridge, because i use it A LOT), garlic powder, garlic salt, cream of tartar, corn starch, fresh baking powder and soda (i go through these pretty quickly, so they never go bad), various nuts including pecan and peanuts and walnuts and almonds, kosher salt, sea salt, all-purpose flour, cake flour, bread flour, whole wheat flour (although i keep that in my fridge), blue cornmeal (which i also keep in my fridge), rye flour (yep, fridge), white onions, brown onions, maui onions, shallots, garlic bulbs, potatoes -- russet, red and yukon gold -- all sorts of rice -- we'll get to that in the next blog -- um... hmm... let me see... and a bunch more like sun dried tomatoes, tomato paste, superfine sugar and on and on.

i also keep on top of my pantry enough to know that when i find a recipe i plan to use, read it, i know what on there i don't have and what i do. i am in touch with my pantry, feeling it, aware of what's in there without needing a list, and agument it accordingly for the most part. but i also trust enough in what i'm doing to know that if i'm missing something i either move on and find something else or i will rework it to accommodate what i DO have. that is not easy for everyone and i understand that. so, keeping the basics in your pantry is all you need to do in order to succeed. but what are the basics? well, i'm no expert, but i can tell you that whatever your heart gravitates toward with this stuff is what you need in there. it has to be based upon your own tastes, not what some book tells you. you may love indonesian cooking in theory, but keeping coconut milk and jasmine rice on a regular basis for personal cooking may not suit you. do what you FEEL. cooking is very tactile and sensual, as you know.

there was a time when i kept my pantry so well-stocked, it freaked even me out. i had stuff like herbes de provence, fleur de sel and kaffir lime leaves. really. nowadays, if i need that, i go look for it. it's not so hard to find something you want when you're committed.

a pantry is a funny thing. we often tend to have just the minimum and when we find a recipe we like, we have to go out and buy EVERYTIHNG, thereby making us feel pretty lacking. that's not to say to have things that you will use only once and, therefore, will lose their flavor within six months -- for example, if you find a great recipe for paella that calls for saffron and you really won't be using it that much, then don't spend the kazillion dollars it will cost for one micromilligram. but if you know you'll be using it frequently, then buy it. don't scrimp and cheat yourself, budget it into your grocery bill and be prepared for anything, including whims of your own in the kitchen. splurge on yourself once in awhile if you're interested in cooking. buy a specialty herb -- real curry powder instead of basic, real maple syrup instead of corn syrup masquerading as maple.

as i mentioned before, i am adamant about having fresh mozzarella and the best parmgiano reggiano in my home. we cook too much with it not to have it at our disposal. i use my saffron, so it is economical for me to buy it and have it on hand. i cook with a great deal of exotic spices and herbs, so buying them makes sense, because i use them. and that's what a pantry is for. to be stocked with the staples you use and will use. not to hold stuff that you won't use for 20 years, unless there is some sort of significance with all of this, because food does create a sense memory within us all. the smell of campbell's chicken noodle soup on the stove reminds me of lunches as a kid in these cool mug and plate sets with chix noodle soup and a pb&j or tuna sandwich on white bread. omg. i remember those things all the time, so significance of pantry items comes into play also. and i'll give you an example of this:

when i was a kid, we had one of those pantries you could basically walk in. in this pantry were a myriad of things we used and some i had never heard of nor tasted. there were the typical cans of tuna, soups, boxes of dried goods and baskets of onions and potatoes (we didn't use fresh garlic back then -- when i discovered it, i couldn't believe i had been fed dried all these years -- i was 8 when i discovered fresh garlic whereas my sons have never known differently). we also had cans of sardines, salmon and underwood deviled whatever my father's taste was at that moment -- ham, beef or anything. and something i had never tasted in my life -- spam. we had this can of spam in our pantry since, i think, the day we moved into our house in 1970. maybe it had even moved there with us. i remember going into that pantry and seeing that spam and wondering what the hell it was every single time, but i never opened it to taste it and no one ever moved it. it stayed in its same place on the shelf of our pantry until we moved out in 1979.

my father had put that there. no, he didn't like spam. he had once lived on it when he was younger and he never forgot it. that can was NEVER OPENED. let me repeat this, that can of spam was NEVER OPENED. i have yet to taste it. i mean, i have lived on top ramen and tap water in my day. crackers and air. nothing but water and canned pasta dishes and i've lived on leftover campbell's chicken noodle soup. but i have yet to eat spam and i think it's because my father kept that can of spam on our shelf for 10 years as a reminder of what he hoped would never happen to any of us again -- a need to eat only that. he never mentioned whether he liked it or didn't, so don't go off thinking we eschewed spam because of the taste. i have no idea what it tastes like and since i adore hawaiian culture and respect it as well as loving monty python and their little viking friends, i can not comment on the quality of spam on any level. i can only say that can sitting on our pantry shelf for all those years was enough to make me seek anything else in my food keepsake world other than that.

a pantry is your friend. it is your savior. your guide. that's why reading through a recipe before you attempt to make it is a good thing. then you can decide if you're going to fill your pantry with what you need or just wing it.

me? i keep my pantry as stocked as i can given the times
or i just wing it.
because i'm a big believer in making the simplest of things as hard as possible.
you think i'm lying, but i'm not.
i told you i'm a flibbertigibbet.
such is life.

Turkey Basing

2007-11-07T20:16:00.001-06:00

i often think of recipes as bases for creativity. it makes my life easier if i don't try to extend my minuscule pantry beyond its capabilities on any given day. i have a pretty extensive one considering, mainly because it's important to me to be as well stocked as possible so i never have to leave in the middle of a recipe to go get, oh, i don't know, cumin or saffron or cardamom pods (all of which i have). and, anyway, i read through my recipes before i go whole hog with anything so i can be sure i've got the goods to make something work.

that was before i began this journey through my cookbooks that has made it not always easy to be totally prepared. i already have a TON going on in my life to which i have added this and countless other journeys into the unknown, just so i always know i'm alive on the planet. don't get me wrong. i'm enjoying this. i love this walk through my cookbooks and actually using them. they are my friends and wonderful teachers. but because of the schedules of my sons, their sports and my own schedule, when we're not on the weekend -- and i'm often not savvy enough to have the foresight to prepare the night before which, to be quite frank, would kind of take the fun out of the spontaneity of it all, so i tend not to -- i look for recipes in the books that will let me get in, out and on the table unscathed and in little time.

tonight was no exception and this is why i revere many of my cookbooks. inside all of them are happy, peppy, quick fix meals even if it's one of my serious classics. always. or at least a side dish i can whip together for a really yum roast chicken -- i did think of that for tomorrow night, just so's ya know, cuz me and my bambinos have NO RESPONSIBILITIES TOMORROW NIGHT so i've got time to make fabulous side somethings if i want... and maybe a cake... hmm... -- and to say i was jazzed when i saw this dish would be an understatement.

it was this really great set of ingredients to which i could add, subtract and/or manipulate to be exactly what we needed based upon what we had on hand. i grabbed my A TASTE OF TURKISH CUISINE cookbook written by Nur Ilkin and Sheilah Kaufman, a cookbook i've grown to love and cherish in the short time i've had it. just for the record, all of the cookbooks i have in my repertoire are ones i have chosen after a great deal of thought and consideration. well, except for the dated ones. you know the ones i mean. the "so obvious this is from the sixties, seventies, eighties, nineties" ones i have mentioned before. those are ones my mother sloughed off on me, because she discovered, after my brother, sister and i moved out of the house, she hated cooking. deeply. and with a passion. but every cookbook, even the ones i have gotten as gifts, have been kept and held onto with a great deal of loving thought. if i didn't think i'd ever use it or gain any insight from it, i sold it. honest. and since i have over 220 of these suckers, you must realize that i never think i'll know enough about cooking to ever truly be considered accomplished. kinda cool, in a way. because there's something about this art that is ever changing, like all arts, that makes my inability to become an expert pretty terrific and a continuous journey.

but, forgive me, i have digressed once more and i shall get back to the point. tonight's dinner was SHEPHERD'S SAUTE or Coban Kafurmasi. it is quick, it is easy, it is... you'll see.

ingredients:
3 tbs butter
3 tbs veggie oil
1 pound lamb (leg), cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1 onion, cut into chunks
4 cloves garlic, cut in half
salt
3 long green hot chili peppers, seeded and cut into 1/2-inch pcs
2 medium tomatoes, peeled and cut into chunks
1 tsp fresh thyme

what to do:
1. heat 1 tbs of butter with all of the oil over high heat in a large skillet. add the meat and cook, shaking the pan instead of stirring, until the color of the meat changes. add the onion and garlic and continue cooking and shaking the pan for another 2 minutes. add salt to taste.
2. add the remaining 2 tbs of butter. let it melt, add the green peppers and continue cooking by shaking the pan. cook for 1 minute and add the tomatoes and thyme. coontinue cooking and shaking the pan for another minute. remove from heat and serve with a warm country bread.

here's what we did:
we did not have chili peppers, tomatoes or fresh thyme -- although i have dried thyme, FRESHLY BOUGHT dried thyme (remember, no more than six months, folks). HOWEVER, i did have a lovely roasted red pepper -- home roasted -- fresh tomato sauce, chunky, and red pepper flakes. i did all that it asked and added this -- red pepper, tomato sauce, one russet potato, washed, and skin on and cut into 1/2 inch chunks, a half of a zucchini, washed and cut into 1/2 inch chunks, dried thyme and red pepper flakes. the shaking caused everything to brown rather than the juices to STEAM everything. a nice caramelization of the onion and crispiness of the potato took place in the lamb juices, which were abundant. in this short period of time, the potatoes were done, the lamb, the zucchini, all of it was tender, cooked through and filled with flavor.

our report card is EXCELLENT. this was NUMMER! oh, man. so simple yet full of flavor like you can not believe. brandon was, once again, my victim for the night, because nicholas had football practice (last night, he was out with his big bro, adam) and brandon's basketball didn't start until 8:00. i put this together and spooned some on a plate for brandon to which he added, for my enjoyment, the spicy relish he had created back when and which enhanced the dish tremendously -- this kid has got the gene for passionate cooking DOWN. both my sons do. nicholas has a more methodical flare to him, but he also takes chances in foods his brother never would, like vegetables and pairings that seem not to make sense until he does them and you try them. nicholas is monet, consumed with the lovely lilies, delicately creating an ambience befitting his masterpiece as well as the masterpiece itself. brandon is picasso, emoting the paint onto the canvas, roaring his gifts to the world and secure in the fact that he is right and his passion is exactly what the world needs. this is how they cook and live, both of them. extraordinary.

and so it went. we went kind of far afield tonight, or at least added a flair that turned this into a bit of a different dish. so i wonder if we can consider we have actually cooked out of here? hmm...

well, recipes are created to be played with, right? and, if not, then i think we can survive another night of turkish cooking.

most definitely.

Timely, Yummy and Easy

2007-11-06T18:53:00.000-06:00

i didn't want to get too deep tonight with food. i was running a little behind, wanted something easy and fast and something that would satisfy my one dinner companion tonight -- brandon. he can be kinda picky, not that it stops me, mind you. yeah, i know -- great mothering skills -- but, ya know, i always figure i can finesse something to get him to be happy. and tonight ended up being one of those challenges for me, because the book i chose was THE BEST AMERICAN RECIPES 1999 put together by Fran McCullough and Suzanne Hamlin. now, i know that doesn't sound like it should cause any issues with the all american burger eater, but i needed something fast, remember, and all the recipes i was flipping past weren't fast -- at least not the entrees -- ... until i came to MANLY MEATBALLS. these were under appetizers, but said they could be used as a main course, and i stared at them for a good five minutes before i decided to go for it because...

brandon does not
like
meatballs.
nope.

he likes them on pizzas, in meatball sandwiches with lots of sauce and cheese, but he does not like them i soup, on spaghetti or by themselves AS APPETIZERS. so, yes, i stared at this recipe long and hard, gauging my success rate and then thought "fuck it" and went with it. it was fast.
it was easy.
i could make this work.
oh, please.

ingredients:
2 long, slim loaves crusty bread (baguettes), about 2 1/2 inches in diameter
1 pound ground chuck (not leaner beef)
1/4 cup dark soy sauce, tamari or low-sodium soy sauce
1 tsp firmly packed dark brown sugar
5-6 scallions, white and light green parts only

what to do:
1. preheat the oven to 450ºF and set rack on the middle level or the racks on the top and bottom levels if you plan to use two baking sheets.
2. slice off and discard the heels of the baguettes and cut them into 36 slices about 1/2 inch thick. lay slices side by side on a baking sheet, or two if necessary.
3. mix together the meat, soy sauce, or tamari, brown sugar and scallions in a large bowl with your hands. knead thoroughly until you have a fine paste. make 36 small meatballs about the size of walnuts. put one in the middle of each bread slice, pressing down slightly. bake for 7 to 9 minutes, until the meatballs and bread have become one.

the report card: well, as these were cooking, brandon commented on how good "something" smelled. promising. as they were cooking, i came up with an idea and asked if he would like a boiled egg or poached egg with dinner. "no," he said, "i'd like an egg white scramble, though." yeah, well, i got caught up, scrambled whole eggs, put them on a plate, surrounded them with four slices of the bread with meatball, handed off a banana and gave the plate to him, waiting for the obvious -- "are these meatballs?" with curled lip disgust. yes, that happened. then he took a bite -- after i gave him the "just try them" urging in desperation (although i didn't show it, oh, no) -- and he took a bite of the morsel and walked off to sit down. "how's it taste?" i asked, fingers crossed.

"good," he said quickly, then ate all four without thought.

meatballs. brandon ate meatballs tonight and liked them.
he ate greens last night and liked them as well.
we may make it through puberty after all.

Dreamy Greece

2007-11-05T21:35:00.000-06:00

i've never been to Greece, except in my dreams. i remember being deeply enamored with my father's Greek classics -- Antigone, Oedipus, Medea -- the myths of Greece completely entranced me and then there was THE OTHER SIDE OF MIDNIGHT. i remember seeing that movie in the movie theatre -- long before i became a ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW groupie -- and thinking Susan Sarandon was pretty okay (now i think she's brilliant, but i don't think anyone would dispute that this is not her best film or anyone's, for that matter). but more than that was Greece. this extraordinarily beautiful country with such passion and life. it leapt off the screen and i knew i someday wanted to be a part of it. had to be.

then, of course, there was SUMMER LOVERS. totally sealed it for me. i remember a few months before i began dating my ex-husband that i was preparing to take a vacation in Greece. i had found a villa i wanted to rent along with a couple of girlfriends, our own staff, a private beach and we were ready to go when i fell in love. all bets were off. and i never made it to Greece.

but i haven't given up.

however, until i do, i indulge in Greek cuisine every chance i get. i love the flavors of the Mediterranean, the sense of true culinary leisure and sensual delight in the art of dining that comes through in everything created along those waters. there is a lustiness to it all, very Irene Papas and Telly Savalas. and the mezes that are part of the Greek celebration of food always give me more satisfaction than even tapas.

so this evening, we opened up our trusty dusty cookbook THE FOODS OF THE GREEK ISLANDS by the amazing Aglaia Kremezi and made not one but two of our favorite dishes to go along with a simple steak kinda deal -- a bit of salt, freshly ground pepper, dry crumbled oregano, some thyme and garlic with good olive oil, seared and let to rest for 15 minutes. yummy.

to that we added these two LAHANIDES ME PASPALA or Collard Greens with Pancetta, and PATATES RIGANATES or Roasted Potatoes with Garlic, Lemon and Oregano. check it out:

collard greens
ingredients:
salt
2 pounds collard greens or kale
1/4 cup olive oil
6 ounces pancetta, diced
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tsp aleppo pepper or pinch of crushed red pepper flakes
2-3 tbs Greek sweet vinegar or balsamic vinegar

what to do:
1. in a large pot of boiling salted water, blanch the greens for 5 to 8 minutes or until just tender. drain, rine under cold running water to stop the cooking and drain well. coarsely chop the greens.
2. in a large skillet, heat the oil and saute the pancetta over medium heat until crisp. add the garlic and pepper or pepper flakes and saute for 30 seconds. add the greens and saute, stirring, for 3 minutes, or until coated with oil and hot. add the vinegar, toss and taste to adjust the seasonings. serve warm.

here's what we did:

instead of blanching the greens, i washed them and chopped them raw. i used swiss red chard and instead of pancetta, i used turkey bacon and less olive oil -- because we were low.

i'll tell you the report card after i give you the lowdown on the potatoes

roasted potatoes
ingredients:
3 pounds baking potatoes, peeled and cut into 1-1/2 inch cubes
1/2 cup olive oil
4 garlic cloves, minced
1-1/2 tsps dried oregano, crumbled
1 tsp salt
freshly ground black pepper
1/2 cup beef stock or chicken stock
1/3 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
2-3 tbs chopped fresh oregano

what to do:
1. preheat oven to 400ºF.
2. pleace the potatoes in a single laye in a 13x9-inch baking dish and pour the oil over them. add the garlic, dried oregano, salt and pepper to taste and toss well to coat with the oil.
3. bake the potatoes for 15 minutes. add the stock, toss and bake for 10 minutes more. add the lemon juice, toss and bake for 10 to 15 minutes more, or until the potatoes are cooked through. you can also preheat the broiler and broil the potatoes for 2 to 3 minutes, or until golden brown.
4. sprinkle with fresh oregano and serve at once.

here's what we did:
i used yukon gold potatoes, which imparted a really creamy texture to the potatoes, used beef stock and left off the fresh oregano, because i didn't get a chance to go to the store.

the report card... ah, before i tell you that, let me share with you this:

brandon saw what we were having for dinner and told me he had an idea on how to plate it. i told him to go for it. so, he mounded some potatoes in the center of the plate, topped them with a dollop of the barbecue sauce we have leftover from our bobby flay night, topped that with slices of steak, mounded some greens to the side then served it all together. he said we had to eat it outside in -- a morsel of steak with a couple of pieces of potatoes topped with the sauce then followed by the greens. how he came up with this, i have no idea, but it was sublime. just amazing. he even ate all of his greens, which is one of his LEAST favorite veggies, although i keep trying new ways of getting him interested. he ate them all and even wanted more. whoa.

nicholas, who adores greens, ate two helpings of the greens then asked for them to take to school for lunch the next day. he liked the whole meal, but was a little full after it all -- he had a heavy duty football practice and was wiped out -- then ended up taking the whole thing -- potatoes and all -- with him to school this morning for lunch.

i marvel at my sons and their enjoyment of this part of my personal quest. so far, we've had successes with our meals and i hope we continue. but, more than anything, what i'm most excited about is nicholas and brandon's involvement. brandon's plating was yummy, beautiful and distinctly him.

even nicholas congratulated him on it.

i think we'll all go to Greece together.
they would like that.

Fragrant Evening Delight

2007-11-04T20:26:00.000-06:00

you've heard about brandon's love of curry. it's true. he is a fan of the spice and when he hears i'm going to put it in anything, his eyes light up and food he would have never tried, he is willing to eat.

tonight, in honor of this love and because my young son has been struggling with his fair share of stuff in his pre-pubescent life, i decided to MAKE curry. i grabbed our THE NEW BASICS COOKBOOK by Julee Rosso and Sheila Lukins, the SILVER PALATE ladies, and discovered LAMB CURRY WITH CONDIMENTS. now, as a little history with this cookbook, i shall regale you with the tale of howf this cookbook made my first platinum, full on sit down, all the way live, show off what i'd learned in cooking class dinner party such a success. here goes:

i took a serious cooking class from a school located on a corner that faces both MORTON'S in l.a. and what was once TRUMP'S -- this lovely teahouse my mother frequented with "the ladies who lunch" crowd who were (and still are) her friends -- but, at the time, was a pan pacific restaurant whose name escapes me (very yum -- i ALWAYS got their THAI FRIED WHOLE FISH when i went, because, as i have said, i was once almost a full on vegetarian save the fish and chix and because it was freakin' AWESOME). my teacher was fantastic and i learned a TON from the class. mostly how much i truly loved cooking in a serious way. it consumed me and i have kept all of the recipes i learned in class and all of the notes. i remember i had this really great cooking partner to whom i just gravitated. we always picked the same dishes to work on together and it just seemed natural that we would always look across the class to each other when our teacher would announce the various dishes we would prepare and ask us to sign up for them. i don't remember his name. that really bugs me, because i'm actually really good with names and faces. but i don't remember ANYONE'S name from that class, not even my teacher's. i'm sure it's because it happened during a rather icky time of my marriage and i put a lot of things out of my mind from then. even stuff that was life saving, although i've held on to the teachings or have begun to, i don't fully remember the specifics of the events from which i learned during that time. yep. amnesia can be your friend.

anyway, this guy was from korea and his goal was to return one day and open a REALLY GOOD hamburger stand. along the lines of a Johnny Rockets, In 'n Out or Sonic. i loved that. and he took photos of everything we made and gave me copies. what a good guy, right? yeah. we did a lot of great food, my teacher was exceptionally supportive of me and believed in my ability. and i wanted to show that off to my friends. i'd like to say i was purely altruistic and wanted to SHARE it with them, but let's be honest. i wanted to show off like a prize peacock. shoot me.

i created a multi-course meal to end all meals. i set a long table, like in the film BIG NIGHT, for 16 people and fed them soup, salad, sorbet for palate cleansing, a fish course, a meat course, a cheese course, an antipasti, wines with every course and desserts. i made EACH AND EVERY BIT OF THIS MEAL. honestly. and when the meal was over, everyone was happy. even me. amazing, isnt it?

so where does THE NEW BASICS COOKBOOK come into play with all of this? i made three of these courses from it and have considered this cookbook one of my best friends. i use it frequently, rework things from it, add, change, use as my base for many of my best dishes, but i always know where it comes from . that's something about cookbooks that i love. that you can GROW the recipes, once you get your confidence with the cooking. you can take what you read and tweak them. and that's what they're there for as much as they are there to show you how great the cookbook writer is with the dishes they have put in there.

back to our meal tonight. LAMB CURRY WITH CONDIMENTS. and here we go.

ingredients:
2 tbs olive oil
3 pounds lamb shoulder, cut into 2-inch chunks
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbs minced fresh ginger
2 tsps best-quality curry powder
1/2 tsp freshly grated nutmeg
1/2 tsp ground cumin
/2 tsp ground cardamom
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
2 cups homemade beef stock or canned broth
1 cup New Basic Tomato Sauce
1/4 cup orange marmalade
1/4 cup mango chutney
1/4 cup cream of coconut
2 tbs fresh lemon juice
1 tsp salt
1/2 cup golden raisins
toasted unsweetened coconut, for garnish
3 to 4 cups cooked white rice

what to do:

1. heat 1 tbs of olive oil in flameproof casserole or dutch oven. brown the lamb, in batches, over medium-high heat and set aside.
2. add the remaining oil and saute the onion, garlic, and ginger over medium heat, 5 minutes. then stir in all the spices.
3. stir in the stock, tomato sauce, marmalade, chutney, cream of coconut, lemon juice, and salt. return the lamb to the casserole.
4. sprinkle the mixture with the raisins and bring to a boil. lower the heat, cover and simmer for 1 1/2 hours.
5. sprinkle the curry with toasted coconut, and serve over rice.

4 to 6 servings

here's what we did:

we used canned beef broth and pre-made tomato sauce -- no time. we also didn't have any mango chutney in the house -- which was pretty funny, since i had just been at the market before looking at the recipe and thinking "ya know, i could sure go for some mango chutney" then didn't buy it (follow your instinct, that's what i say). we also used dried currants instead of raisins (we're not a big raisin family, as i believe i've said before) and i didn't top it with coconut (it's packed away in a box somewhere still). but, i upped the amount of marmalade and lemon by a tad and simmered away, serving it atop the leftover rice from the night before with fresh apples and pears with it as a cooling, refreshing accompaniment.

the report card was yum. brandon was very calmly delighted to have curry as the main, focused meal. nicholas liked it, except the currants, which he doesn't like in anything but baked goods (i make couscous with them in it, but always leave them out in his portion).

nicholas wants to take it with him to school for lunch tomorrow as long as i pull out the currants. i'm cool with that.

it was a nice night. leisurely, loving, low key. it's rare we have no drama in our evenings and this was well worth the simmer, sit down and just be time that came out of it.

now you can see why, even more than a multi-course show-off meal, i am so deeply devoted to my NEW BASICS cookbook.

Recipe Diary of a Bad Housewife

2007-11-04T18:48:00.000-06:00

we had friends over for dinner last night. i had been so crazed with life, i hadn't truly prepared, but i had a great standby treat that would work and knew we could pull it off... if only i could get my house clean.

i suck as a housekeeper. boy, do i ever. if you were to ask my ex-husband, he would most likely agree deeply with that statement and i wouldn't have anything to bring up as ammo to protect myself. i just do. maybe it's because i'm such a freakin' flibbertigibbet that i don't think about it. however, it drives me absolutely bonkers to be so scattered in my home. i feel like i still live like i did when i was in college... for the brief time i was there. it always seems i'm just a kid in adult clothing and i'm waiting for some magic moment that will sparkle into my life and i'll say "ah, yes... that chair goes there, those shelves need to be put up there, and here is a fabulous window treatment that will bring the room together." that, to me, is an adult. someone who totally gets how to organize and DECORATE their life. me? i know what i like. i know what i gravitate towards and then come home from work, see the mess my kids have made and just sigh, make dinner and try to chill about it. but, the truth is, i suck as a housekeeping role model, because i will pick up my computer and write before i'll clean. really. cuz i'm a flibbertigibbet. oh, and i'll do things like begin to mop the floor then see the candles sitting on the table, so stop and put those in the place i want them to be only to notice, hey, that book on knitting looks really good and i was planning to start knitting scarves to sell so i better stop what it is i'm doing and read that and whoa, is that ginger i smell? why, i should make some ginger tea and hey, you know what? isn't that novel writing thing happening this month? well, i need to write about 2000 words tonight so i better open my laptop and, yep, write a novel until... yippee, let's play some computer games!... and on and on and on with my scattered, crazy mind.

but i digress...

so we had friends coming over. i said that already. sorrry. anyway, i decided to make something that always goes over well and a couple of desserts to go along. i made this japanese fried chicken from my "LET'S COOK JAPANESE" cookbook which you will just have to go out and buy the cookbook, cuz it's got WAY too many great things in it to list and this is one of them. we had that, simple steamed white rice with some soy sauce and ponzu sauce with it, the Lemon Yogurt Cake and some PUMPKIN BREAD WITH DATES AND WALNUTS from THE BAKER'S DOZEN COOKBOOK by a dozen BRILLIANT bakers, edited by Rick Rodgers. The recipes in this are priceless and worth every bit of getting it into your repertoire. some of my best yums come out of this, are based in this and i adore it. nicholas doesn't like pumpkin at all. doesn't like pumpkin pie, only likes them to carve for halloween. but, this recipe? he asks for over and over. so i made it to have throughout the week. check it out and i think you'll come to love it as well:

ingredients:
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 1/2 tsps baking soda
2 tsps ground cinnamon
1 tsp freshly grated nutmeg
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground allspice
1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
1 cup packed light brown sugar
3 large eggs, room temp
2/3 cup corn oil
2 1/2 cups cooked, pureed pumpkin or canned solid-pack pumpkin
1 1/2 cups chopped walnuts
1 1/2 cups coarsely chopped walnuts

what to do:
1. position a rack in the center of the oven and preheat to 350ºF. lightly butter and flour two 8 1/2 x4 1/2-inch loaf pans.
2. sift flour, baking soda, cinnamon nutmeg, salt, and allspice together into a large bowl.
3. in another large bowl, whis the granulated sugar, brown sugar, eggs, and oil until they are completely mixed. add the pumpkin and whisk until blended. using rubber spatula or wooden , stir in the walnuts and dates.
4. add the pumpkin mixture to the dry mixture to the dry ingredients and stir just until the batter is blended and there are no streaks of flour visible.
5. spread the batter evenly in the prepared pans. bake until a wooden skewer inserted into the loaves comes out clean, about 65 yo 70 minutes.
6. transfer to a wire rack to cool. cool in pans for 15 minutes. give each pan a sharp downward jerk to loosen the bread then invert the loaves onto a rack. turn right side up and cool completely. bread can be baked up to 3 days ahead, wrapped in plastic wrap or a plastic bag, and stored at room temperature. it can also be frozen, double-wrapped in aluminum foil, for up to 3 months.

what we did:

we didn't add the nuts or dates. brandon and nicholas aren't big with nuts in their baked goods, although they do like nuts (tons of yum recipes for spiced and sweetened nuts) as a general rule. we used canola oil instead of corn oil and we baked it for less time with lots of attention because, yes, my oven SUCKS.

both loaves came out quite well. our guests last night seemed to really enjoy the meal and we loved the company (great folks). the pumpkin bread, however, was really a treat for my sons more than anything, so that was left untouched until the morning. not for lack of desire to share it with our friends, but because the lemon cake really took center stage with the meal and that was fine.

brandon had his pumpkin bread toasted this morning with cream cheese on it along with a couple of boiled eggs and some sausage. nicholas had his just lightly toasted and the boiled eggs. and tea. spiced, creamed and steeped green tea.

morning simplicity.
such a sweet pleasure.

Simple Pleasures

2007-11-03T08:57:00.000-05:00

the weekends are hectic for us, usually. football has dominated every week since it began in august -- the practices have ended up being every evening with games on saturday AND sunday, at times (remember, two different boys, two different teams, two different practices, two different games) -- and brandon has begun basketball, which is overlapping with the end of football a bit. his first game was yesterday afternoon. a two day pre-season tournament -- saturday and sunday. the simple pleasures of a leisurely breakfast have gone by the wayside of grab and run and all of us miss it. the languid mixing of the perfect pancake batter -- with or without berries -- fluffy ricotta pancakes or corn pancakes (which we love). some tangy, crispy waffles from our ancient waffle maker/sandwich press (it's a serious old school love with removable irons that are waffled on one side and flat on the other). and egg white scrambles with sauteed potatoes and onions, or sausage and cheese, eggs over medium and yummy toast. homemade stuffed french toast, a cup of perfect tea and just watching the morning float by for awhile... okay, i'll stop.

my point is, i love the simple pleasures of breakfast treats and morning moments. they're these little instances of exceptional "ahhh" or at least i think so. the beginning of the day, the sun rising and glowing across your life as it begins. again. can you imagine? every day, our lives start over, from the beginning and whatever you put in your mouth, into your stomach, is part of that second of rebirth. yeah, i know, how deep is she? but, i actually believe that shit. now, if only i lived it better. i suck at the breakfast thing for myself. oh, i can get as elaborate as you want with breakfast -- not to toot my own horn, but i ACED my hollandaise sauce final in cooking class and, therefore, make an AWESOME eggs benedict. i adore eggs, so i can cook really yum omelets and scrambled eggs, as well as poached, fried and, yes, boiled. let me explain why this is such a big deal. breakfast is one of the most difficult meals to prepare. so i've experienced. making perfect eggs is really difficult. perfecting the doughy-less pancake takes practice as does making the airy waffle that will hold up to all that stuff that goes on it -- berries, bananas, nuts, syrup.

i love it. i love breakfast. oh, i'm terrible about eating it at the right time, but i'm getting better. i'm happy with plain yogurt with honey drizzled on top with fruit and granola and a hot cup of perfect tea -- green with a little ginger powder, honey, a squeeze of lime. my son, nicholas, is amazingly wonderful with tea. he makes me this perfect cup of yum with nutmeg, ginger, lime, honey -- mmm. but, anyway, back to the breakfast.

this next recipe is one we've made since the kids were babies. since nicholas and brandon first got their teeth. while we didn't make it the day of brandon's first basketball game, it's one i wanted to share with you, because it's just good, fun, easy and loveable. it's a bit of a mix of french toast and eggs. it's been around FOR-EH-VER. completely. it's a comfort food and can be eaten however you want. nicholas likes to put jam on it. strawberry preserves. brandon likes to eat it folded like a sandwich. it's called many things -- TOAD IN THE HOLE, EGGY IN THE BASKET -- but, basically, it's love on a plate. everytime i make it for them, they smile a the thought. it's the perfect way to start the day and here it is:

EGGY-IN-THE-BASKET by whomever

ingredients:

4 pcs. very good sliced bread (whatever kind you like, but we use multi-grain and brioche)
softened butter or margerine (we tend to use not margerine, but this yogurt spread AND butter)
4 lrg eggs (we use organic eggs, but whatever trips your trigger and i'll tell you more later)

what to do:
1. cut a circular hole in the middle of your 4 slices of bread. butter both sides of the slices AND the circles with the softened butter or margerine.
2. place the buttered bread -- slices and circles -- into a large vegetable oil sprayed pan that has been heated for 30 seconds on medium-high heat. you'll probably have to do these in batches based upon the size of your pan.
3. when the bread sizzles, crack one egg in the hole of each of the pieces of bread. let it cook until the white has gone opaque and turn the bread over with a spatula, gently. it will be time to turn the circle of buttered bread over as well. it wil be golden brown.
4. cook the egg in the bread until it is the way you like it. touch it gently with the spatula and if the give is the way you prefer your eggs -- soft, medium soft, or hard -- then take the egg and bread out of the pan, place it on a plate, top with the toasted circle per bread and serve.

this makes two egg-breads per person.

this can be garnished with bacon strips, sausage, potatoes, any breakfast sides you like. it's a wonderful portable snack as well as a yummy sit down breakfast.

we love this. one of the reasons my sons like this so much is that one of their favorite movies is "V FOR VENDETTA" and it is served to EVIE twice. they didn't remember this was one of their favorite dishes from earliest childhood until they saw that. yeah, we're pretty leftist over here.

i serve this, usually, with some sausage, fruit and cottage cheese. this is a seriously hearty breakfast. and a cup o' tea. must have a cup o' tea.

then we sit, enjoy the morning, and let it wash over us in slow, easy waves as we start our lives again.

rebirth and renew.
lovely, guv'ner.

How I Learned to Hate the Buffet

2007-11-01T23:16:00.000-05:00

wednesday night was halloween. i did not cook. oh, i inTENDED to, but, alas, did not. why? because of the buffet. the evil, starchy, way too much weirdass food to be believed buffet. it's not ONE buffet in particular, so don't go looking for me to out some poor establishment whose only job is to make dough off of the cravings of others. i've done that. made dough off of the cravings of the masses. without resorting to ick foods, true, but i've done it. no, the buffet, in general, taken in this particular form, is, well, vile. there's a place in l.a. -- yeah, yeah, i know "shut the eff up about this shtuff in l.a.," but, please, indulge me -- called todai which is a seafood/sushi buffet that is killer. honest. total yum. however, that was not this and there are many just like this one in my coastal city of LA, so it's not a regional thing. it's a buffet thing. really.

we went to this outdoor mall -- strip mall, i suppose -- where they had safe trick or treating and activities with the different shops. it was fun and Brandon and Nicholas had a total blast. great. and this particular evening, every kid got in free to this particular buffet and, being a frugal sorta mom these days, i was ALL about it. oh, man. i think the last time i really went to a buffet like this was when i was a kid, so my memory of this was from watching FARGO. the boys were even intimidated, i could see, and they got their plates -- one plate -- and that was it. but they were severely full and i thought, "i'm the worst mother for doing this with them. yikes."

by the time we got home, they were not even interested in the candy they had gotten. no special dinners that night. just a lot of "oh, mom... my stomach..." oy vey.

but thursday night? i really had to make this up to them. or me, quite frankly. i felt like i had been way too lax with the food and needed to make it right for me in my heart by being good to them. nicholas wasn't feeling well. he had a cold that was getting a serious hold on him, so i ended up making TWO things -- two soups to help him with his cold and that would be seriously yummy. these were from a REALLY terrific asian cookbook that covers all of asia with these terrific color photos and step by step instructions. it's called A TASTE OF THE EAST by Deh-Ta Hsiung, Rafi Fernandez and Steven Wheeler. the two recipes were NOODLES IN SOUP (Tang Mein) from China and WONTON SOUP (WonTon Tang) also from China.

NOODLES IN SOUP
ingredients:
8 oz boneless chicken breast, port tenderloin or pre-cooked meat
3-4 chinese dried mushrooms (shiitake), soaked
4 oz sliced bamboo shoots, drained
4 oz spinach leaves, lettuce hearts or napa cabbage
2 scallions
12 oz dried egg noodles
2 1/2 cups basic stock
2 tbs veggie oil
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp light brown sugar
1 tbs light soy sauce

what to do:
1. thinly shred the meat. squeeze dry the mushrooms and discard any hard stalks. thinly shred the mushrooms, bamboo shoots, greens and scallions.
2. cook the noodles in boiling water according to package instructions, drain, and rinse under cold water. place in serving bowl.
3. bring the stock to a boil and pour over noodles. keep warm.
4. heat oil in preheated wok, add about half of the scallions and the meat, and stir-fry for about 1 minute.
5. add the mushrooms, bamboo shoots, and greens, and stir-fry for 1 minute. add all the seasonings and blend well.
6. pour the "dresing" over the noodles, garnish with remaining scallions and serve immediately.

here's what we did:
we ended up using pork and spinach. we didn't have any shiitakes so we used white button mushrooms. dark brown sugar instead of light as well as regular soy sauce instead of light. i end up using dark brown sugar instead of the light brown sugar in pretty much every recipe. there's a depth of flavor that just comes through with the dark. no bamboo shoots, but the rest remained pretty much the same. i added some ponzu sauce to it, which added a yummy citrus tang to it. this warmed nicholas up, he loved it and felt better. the broth we used was a low sodium chicken broth. this doesn't have a ton of liquid to it, but it still has a soup feeling to it, very warming and good.

nex: WONTON SOUP
ingredients:
6 oz pork, not too lean, coarsely chopped
2 oz peeled shrimp, finely chopped
1 tsp light brown sugar
1 tbs chinese rice wine or dry sherry
1 tbs light soy sauce
1 tsp finely chopped scallions
1 tsp finely choped fresh ginger
24 ready-made wonton skins
about 3 cups basic stock
1 tbs light soy sauce
finely chopped scallions to garnish

what to do:
1. mix the pork, shrimp, sugar, wine or sherry, soy sauce, scallions and ginger in a bowl until well blended. let tand for 25-30 minutes.
2. put about 1 tsp filling in the center of each wonton skin.
3. lightly wet and join the edges of each wonton, pressing down with your fingers to seal, then fold each wonton over.
4. to cook, bring the stock to a rolling boil in a wok or saucepan. add the wontons and cook for 4-5 minutes. season with the rest of the soy sauce and garnish with scallions. serve.

here's what we did:
i used regular soy sauce and had egg roll skins, which are large squares. i cut a few down into four squares per each wonton skin. obviously, i peeled and DEVEINED the shrimp (you know how i feel about the devein thing) and ended up cooking this late last night before going to bed. i got two dinners out of these two. even brandon liked the soup, which was good. the wontons came out nicely and, again, this was a warming, yummy way to spend a chilly evening.

buffets... i see their point. honest, i do. when i was traveling through asia many years ago, hotel buffets saved me from time to time -- because i got a lot of food for cheap, not because the food was better. when you're on a budget, anything that can help makes a difference. and i was on a budget all those years ago when i was there.

i'm not saying buffets are bad for everyone. they haven't been great for us. and i do go to my share of indian buffets. nummy yummers. guess my thing about the buffet situation is this 'all you can eat" mentality that accompanies it. but i see their place in the world. just not for us so much.

yep, i'm a snob.
whatever.

Eating Words with Horseradish

2007-10-30T20:45:00.000-05:00

bobby flay. oy. i am SO not into bobby flay. anyone who would listen to me would hear how much i didn't appreciate or get into bobby flay. although, like howard stern, i respected him for his passion (in his way) to his craft -- the grill, in this instance -- he wasn't my kinda personality.

that is still true. i used to watch his show back in the day when he had this girl, jackie, with him and some celebrity guests at his outside grill and a group of friends or something at his inside dealeeo. jackie was this great tempering agent with him, i thought, simply because i was SOOOO not into him. maybe she was really good, but she's no longer his right hand chickadoo, so who knows? i liked her, though. however, there was that moment when, of course, he hung with martha stewart for an episode of her show and he was like a cat on a hot tin roof, just wanting to cook, cook, COOK, DAMMIT! while martha was about "talking" to her audience while bobby was bouncing off the ceiling. i think bobby probably downed about a quart of mezcale that night or should have, cuz he was BUGGIN'! as much as i couldn't stand him, i was lovin' how his vibe was POURING out of the TV, his fire and intense Brooklyn-ness that has always been a big draw for me (can anyone say "Leader of the Pack" Syndrome?) and, in that one moment, i was on the same page with him. needless to say, by the end of the segment, i was back to being "oy, bobby flay."

but he is a god of the grill.

tonight, i wanted something simple, easy, quick that would still be wonderful. i had taken the last two days off of work so that i could get my head together, chill out in my house and focus on getting our living space situated in a way that would bring us pleasure not grief. please don't ask if i actually accomplished it. i'm really good at living as if i'm moving in two months, even if i'm somewhere for 4 years. don't ask me why. i think i have "the geepsy in my soul" as sid caeser says in CHEAP DETECTIVE (oh, yeah, i'm a HUGE movie freak -- i can quote all of THE GODFATHER, many portions of THE BIG CHILL, huge chunks of THE BREAKFAST CLUB and massive quantities of IN HER SHOES... as well as DIVA and the list goes on and on and on...). anyway, when brandon walked home from school, he opened the door with a big smile knowing i was here (talk about feeling loved?) and holding a new cookbook from my cookbook of the month club, THE GOOD COOK (if you want to be a freakazoid collector of cookbooks like me that your children will one day look through and shake their head in wonder at "how did she get like this?" sorrow, then do it). i opened it up and it was BOBBY FLAY'S MESA GRILL COOKBOOK by, well, Bobby Flay with a little help from his friends, Stephanie Banyas and Sally Jackson. i figured "ah, HA! grill stuff couldn't possibly take me forever, although that flavor step thing with meat can be quite the time consuming deal", went to my locker times 10 sized freezer, pulled out some beef, defrosted it and went about finding something to make that wouldn't make me hate bobby flay more nor take 8 hours longer than i had. i found SPICE CRUSTED NEW YORK STRIP STEAKS WITH MESA GRILL STEAK SAUCE, the said steak sauce recipe to follow.

i
am
a
stupid
girl

ingredients:
2 tbs ancho chile powder
1 tbs spanish paprika
1 tbs ground coriander
1 tbs dry mustard
1 1/2 tsp dried oregano
1 1/2 tsp ground cumin
1 1/2 tsp chile de arbol
kosher salt
freshly ground black pepper
4 (12 ounce) New York strip steaks
2 tbs canola oil
Mesa Grill Steak Sauce (recipe in book)

1. make the spice rub, combine the ancho powder, paprika, coriander, dry mustard, oregano, cumin, chile de arbol, 1 tbs salt and 1 tbs pepper in a small bowl.
2. preheat the grill to medium-high or preheat a grill pan over medium-high heat. brush both sides of the steaks with the oil and season with salt and pepper. rub one side of each steak with about 2 tbs of the spice mixture.
3. grill the steaks, rub side down, until lightly charred and a crust has formed, 3 to 4 minutes. flip over the steaks and continue grilling for 5 to 6 minutes more for medium-rare; the steaks will be bright pink in the middle.
4. spoon some of the mesa grill stak sauce in the center of each of the 4 plates and top with the steaks.

here's what we did:

i used boneless short ribs i had in the freezer. i also substituted the canola oil with olive oil (i'm one lazy girl, sometimes. i did that because i was in the kitchen. the canola oil was in the garage. the olive oil was in the kitchen. so i used the olive oil). i made the sauce, i used the rub and i used my trusty, very well seasoned George Foreman grill.

and how'd it all work?

the Mesa Grill Steak Sauce is AWESOME. i'm not sharing it with you not because i'm being a hagatha and suddenly very protective, but because i'm exhausted. i shampooed the rugs, started cleaning out the garage, baked a loaf of bread, took the dog to the doggie daycare, blah, blah, blah and i'm tired. yep. so typing out a whole other recipe is SOOOO not what i want or can do right now.

buy the book.
i can NOT believe i'm saying this.
buy BOBBY FLAY'S book.
pardon me while i gag a bit.
there really are no simple recipes. a lot of layers of flavors going on and a serious look at what your pantry has to offer is in store with this. bobby flay trusts that you are as astute and amazing as he is, so his recipes reflect this.

yes, i just said bobby flay is amazing.

shut up.

L.A. Woman to the Bone

2007-10-30T19:35:00.000-05:00

sunday night's dinner was a brandon recommended variation on one of the recipes we had already done -- the seafood pie. instead of multiple types of cheese, we used a light grating of leftover VERY good gruyere on the top and we added, per mr. brandon, curry. yes, that's right. curry powder was added to the seafood pie for sunday night -- i had promised nicholas i would make it again this past weekend. i do believe i have mentioned previously brandon's love of the indian spices without fully REALIZING how much he loves indian food. he adores it, worships it, loves when i add garam masala, cumin, turmeric, saffron, coriander, curry and coconut milk to ANYTHING i'm making. he adores naan -- we make it a lot -- and since he really loves lamb, he likes whatever i make from my indian cookbooks (madhur jaffrey RULES!). talk about a kid after my own heart. i also made bread. i have gotten into the habit of baking our own bread to cut down on expenses and because i have discovered i have a TON of unspent frustrations that i have to let loose somehow. needless to say, i haven't had a chance to really let those frustrations fly, because (how 90s of me?) i have a bread maker. yes, i do. i have a breadmaker FROM THE 90S, still. yep. everytime i have a garage sale, i THINK about putting it out and i actually DO put it out, but my intent is so strong for someone to PLEASE DON'T BUY IT, that they never do. so, i still have it. and, by whatever, i will use it (i've made 3 loaves of bread so far... and lots more to come as well as the regular way). sunday night was fairly uneventful, foodwise, because of our reworking of what is becoming an old favorite.

monday night was a WHOLE OTHER THANG, boys and girls. and it was an homage to my Los Angeles roots and a favor to my son, nicholas. i asked nicholas to pick me a cookbook that WAS NOT asian (brandon needs a break from that sometimes) and wasn't specifically pasta -- i'm CERTAIN i have told you that nicholas thinks pasta is the only food worth fighting for (did anyone besides my family and our friends call pasta macaroni when we were growing up in the 60s and 70s)? noodles, of any kind, make him weak at the knees. i often wish -- and did while i was partaking -- that he was with me on my last trip to japan when i indulged in a marvelous noodle house in the heart of tokyo and succumbed to the sublime wonder of cold handmade soba noodles accompanied by a delicate dipping sauce at the base of mount fuji after a day of climbing its snowy wonder. ah, man... he would have been in heaven.

nicholas came back with a favorite from my l.a. days, a cookbook put together by the owner/chef of a restaurant i frequented and miss and it brought a misty tear to my eye. the cookbook (whose title completely mesmerized nicholas for what you will see is the obvious reason) is ANGELI CAFFE PIZZA PASTA PANINI by Evan Kleinman. angeli is a restaurant on melrose avenue in Los Angeles (yes, THAT melrose avenue), close to one of my all time favorite places CHIANTI CUCINA (their prawns are to die for). angeli's suppli has often made me swoon (risotto balls deep fried with a small cube of fresh mozzarella inside -- yum), their panini are delightful and their margarita pizza is refreshing because of the freshness of the tomatoes and basil. angeli was once THE PLACE to go on melrose (even though, quite frankly, chianti cucina, and others could kick its culinary patootie, in my opinion) and i had often seen folks being treated as inessentials by the wait staff. whether they do that anymore or not, i couldn't tell you. but i never had a problem, always had great service and wonderful experiences. so i recommend it highly.

but, as i have done so often, i digress...

the recipe i chose, because of the food in my fridge and the time i had, was FARFALLE CON GAMBERI ALLA PRIMAVERA, which, translated, means a Farfalle pasta with Shrimp, Asparagus, Cream, Peas and Basil. true, i had to go and get some asparagus for it, but that was all i had to get and we'll discuss that in a moment. here are the ingredients:

ingredients:

4 tbs unsalted butter
1 pound medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 garlic clove, peeled and minced
1 bunch thin asparagus
2 cups heavy cream or half-and-half
1 pound fresh peas, shelled, or one 10-ounce package frozen baby peas
1 bunch fresh basil, leaves only. half chopped, half kept whole
kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
1 pound imported italian farfalle
small handful of grated italian parmesan cheese (optional) and more for the table

what to do:
1. melt the butter in a large skillet and saute the shrimp and garlic until the shrimp turn pink. add the asparagus and continue cooking for another minute or so. add the cream and bring to a gentle simmer. add the peas, basil, and salt and pepper to taste. simmer the sauce until the veggies are just tender and the cream is slightly thickened.
2. meanwhile, cook the pasta in abundant boiling salted water until al dente.
3. quickly drain the pasta and place it in the pan with the sauce. add the handful of parmesan cheese, if desired. gently toss the pasta with the sauce over low heat until the pasta has absorbed a bit of sauce. place the pasta in a serving bowl. dust with grated parmesan cheese and serve.

here's what we did:
rich. this was rich and i knew it. we had already been using shrimp and some other stuff for other things and, quite frankly, couldn't do it. just couldn't keep up this rich "laissez faire" thing which, if we lived in france, would be no problem. i am not, by any means, as concerned with all of that, because the way we eat is lots of little bites of marvelous without kicking our butts with transfats in large doses, as possible. one glass of wine a night, dining throughout the day, making sure we sit, chat and enjoy our meal. very important. no, i have not always done that. i have had my share of eat on the run. oh, yeah. i'm a single mom, remember. i am no one's saint. TRUST ME. however, i do believe in true dining. i believe in appreciating meals in a sensuous, all encompassing way from earliest childhood. and, lately, we have indulged that as much as possible. my sons like it TONS. i adore them, even if i suck at showing it sometimes, and it's not the QUANTITY of the food that reinforces that for them, it's the QUALITY of it. when they walk in the door and see that i've made a couple of homemade loaves of bread to put in the freezer for when we need them, they smile at me, knowing it's for them, us, our family, that i make it. i'm glad to be able to do it. you have NO FREAKIN' IDEA how happy i am that i'm able to help us, show them, give them such love in such an essential way.

whoa, did i wax quixotic or what? ANYwho, we changed it up a bit -- yes, i used shrimp -- about 8 oz. the rest was cod. and more cod. i cut the cream down by half and used lowfat chicken broth for the rest -- 1 cup cream, 1 cup chix broth (with some pasta water for good measure -- because it's true, using pasta water really helps your sauce adhere to the pasta, as well as not RINSING your pasta. that smattering of starch is like a magnet). i also ended up using 2 tbs unsalted butter and 2 tbs (probably less, though) olive oil. i also used this high protein, low fat spaghetti instead of farfalle, added several leaves of spinach and created something, i hoped, would still delight my sons. oh, i also didn't use ANY PARMESAN. shocking, i know, since i am a HUGE believer in it, but we needed to chill. the sauce was thinner, but still lovely, it tasted great and it adhered to the pasta wonderfully.

but would the boys like it?

they both had two bowls. full of veggies, lower in fat, no cheese, and loaded with fish. they BOTH ATE TWO BOWLS. not huge bowls. i mean, both nicholas and brandon had SERIOUS workouts that day -- nicholas in a two hour football session and brandon on the treadmill my friend lisa, who is wonderful, let me drag to my house at no extra charge. if you hadn't noticed, i truly appreciate my friends. they are marvelous people and i have not one bad thing to say about any of them. however, (back to the two bowls thing) i wanted to make sure both boys were sated, not full. very importante.

anywho, they freaked out for it. really loved it. and now for my asparagus primer:

asparagus has tough stalks. it's just how it is. i am a great lover of asparagus. asparagus isn't cheap, no matter where you live (unless it's the asparagus capital of the world, i guess) and, because of that, you want to make your asparagus experience as wonderful as possible (also, it makes your pee smell like total yikes). peel those stalks. i will repeat this again. PEEL THE STALKS OF YOUR ASPARAGUS. take the time to do that. i know, how irritatingly cordon bleu of me, but it's true. peel them and if you've never liked asparagus before or had success with it, you will see how this will change your life. just take a good carrot/potato peeler and gently peel asparagus until you get the tough green outer skin off and reveal the tender, light green inner stalk. trust me on this. really. it's a total pain in the ass. oh, man. but, believe me, it changes the dish completely and enhances it. and if food isn't the essence of sensual artistic expression, then i have found the wrong area for indulgence.

maybe i should do drugs...
again...

Onions are a Girl's Best Friend

2007-10-27T20:54:00.000-05:00

sometimes, we get jazzed by something we saw on television or experienced somewhere and try to emulate it. in this instance for tonight, we were fired up by both. i got onion soup gratinee in a bread bowl at panera one afternoon and shared bites with my sons. they adored it and asked when we could get it again. we also got really fired up about it when we were watching a TYLER'S ULTIMATE show on onion soup during a rainy afternoon and we all watched this as if it was the greatest film ever made, except we were salivating. i have my share of cookbooks that have wonderful soups in them. tonight, we did something very warming and homey. FRENCH ONION SOUP from THE DAILY SOUP COOKBOOK by Leslie Kaul, Bob Spiegel, Carla Ruben and Peter Siegel with Robin Vitetta-Miller. The Daily Soup is a restaurant, or was (i haven't checked lately) and there's a definite Soup Nazi vibe to the cookbook -- which i mean in a good way. this restaurant takes their soups seriously and so do i. i LOVE soup. another hand me down trait from my dad. and i like to go through the trouble to make them. not everybody does and i respect that. but if you do, here's one of the classics for you. it's a goody.

ingredients:
1 tbs peanut oil
1 tbs unsalted butter
3 lrg spanish onion, halved and thinly sliced
3 lrg red onions, halved and thinly sliced
1 tbs sugar
2 tsps dried thyme leaves
2 bay leaves
2 tsps kosher salt
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1 cup tawny port
8 cups basic veggie stock (recipe in book)
1 (3-inch) piece parmesan cheese rind
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
1 tbs balsamic vinegar
1 tsp minced fresh garlic
1 sourdough baguette, cut crosswise, into 1-inch rounds and lightly toasted
2 cups grated gruyere cheese

what to do:
1. preheat the oven to 400ºF.
2. combine the oil. butter, onions and sugar in a large roasting pan. place in the oven and roast for 1 hour, stirring every 15 minutes, until the onions are tender and golden brown.
3. transfer the onions to a large stockpot over medium heat.
4. add the thyme, bay leaves, salt and pepper and stir to coat the onions.
5. add the port and simmer until the liquid is absorbed.
6. add the stock and parmesan rind and bring the mixture to a boil.
7. reduce heat, partially cover and simmer 30 minutes.
8. stir in the grated parmesan, balsamic vinegar and garlic.
9. preheat the broiler.
10. remove the bay leaves and ladle the soup into bowls.
11. top each bowl with a sourdough round.
12. top with the grated gruyere cheese and place under thebroiler. broil until the cheese is golden and bubbly, about 3 minutes.

there's a variation suggestion i will mention at the end.

here's what we did:
instead of vegetable stock we used beef broth. it added a fullness of flavor and weightyness for such a cold evening. we scooped out three sourdough rounds and used them as bowls, which added to the whole experience for the kids for sure and was very yum. roasting the onions brought up their sweetness which gets a boost from the sugar. a note about sugar and cooking: we always use superfine sugar, or caster sugar, to the "in the know." it bakes up well, cooks up well and since we began using it about 6 years ago, i haven't used anything else. we also used french bread rounds instead of sourdough, because, well, just because. i dunno. just an impulse buy. it happens. and it worked out well.

it seems awfully "highbrow", perhaps, to have two sons who swoon over french onion soup. but, really, they just love the bread, the cheese and the flavors underneath. it's a little like a grilled cheese soup sandwich. they don't even notice the onions of it all, although they like the idea of the onions and that they're eating them.

as we were eating, nicholas turned to me and said, "ya know what would be good in this? chicken. could we do this with chicken sometime?"

i gazed at him in awe and told him, "what's so funny, sweetheart, is that's a suggestion in the recipe."

here's the variation The Daily Soup had on the page:
substitute blonde chicken stock (for which they have a recipe) for the veggie stock. poach 1 pound of boneless, skinless chicken breasts in gently simmering water for 10 minutes. drain and, when cool enough to handle, cut into 2-inch cubes. add to the soup at step 6 and proceed as directed.

my son, the instinctual chef.
of course we'll do chicken next time.
who am i to deny such wonderful culinary insight?

My Sons Are Amazing...

2007-10-27T20:25:00.000-05:00

this recipe made me sit up and say "whoa." not many do. no matter how many things i pick and how amazingly faboo they are, rarely do i swoon and say "whoa."

this is one of those.

while i, personally, adored it, it's because my sons FELL APART over it. really.

look or read, as it were:

friday, i got paid and went shopping for food. that first week of my once-a-month paycheck is like winning the lottery. every subsequent week is utilitarian, trust me. so, i picked up a large flank steak, thinking i had some sort of cookbook that would let me make something terrifkick with it, and brought it home. what i found, in another cookbook i use as much as Fannie Farmer called THE COMPLETE MEAT COOKBOOK by Bruce Aidells and Denis Kelly, was Matambre or Rolled Flank Steak. i really adore this book. it is falling apart and full of oily, stained page from overuse. the little asides are well worth every bit of money you spend on this book, the recipes are WELL WORTH everything. when i got pregnant with my first son, i embraced meat once more (i was almost pure vegetarian before i got pregnant the first time) and if i'm gonna eat meat, it's gonna be well prepared and awesome. cuz, to be frank, eating meat is still not my favorite thing to do.

okay, so, i looked through the book and found Matambre. and i'll tell you how it all worked out in a minute.

ingredients:

flavor step: note: in this cookboook, there are these GREAT flavor steps, which explains how to season your meat to the best flavor possible. told you i love this book.
3 tbs olive oil
1 tsp minced garlic
2 tsps salt
1 tsp freshly ground black pepper

1 1-1/2 to 2 pound flank steak (the largest you can find)
salt and freshly ground black pepper

matambre stufing
1/3 lb prosciutto, dry coppa, or cooked country ham, thinly sliced
lrg leaves from a bunch of spinach, stems removed, well washed
1/2 cup chopped fresh basil
1/4 cup shopped fresh parsley
1 cup fresh bread crumbs
2 tbs minced garlic
1/2 cup freshly minced parmesan
2 tbs olive oil

1 additional tbs olive oil (if roasting)

sauce
1/2 cup toasted almonds
1/4 cup fresh bread crumbs2 tbs olive oil
1 cup fresh or canned fire-roasted red bell peppers or pimentos
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes (optional)
salt and freshly ground black pepper

what to do:
1. butterfly the flank steak (it horizontally leaving the meat attached at one end). open it out, cut side up. season the cut side lightly with salt and pepper.
2. to make the stuffing: lay the slices of ham or smoked meat over the cut side of the steak. lay the spinach leaves over teh slices. in a bowl, combine the basil, parsley, bread crumbs, garlic, cheese and olive oil. spread over the leaves and roll the steak up tightly like a jelly roll. tie the roll in several places and brush the outside all over the marinade.
3. to roast in the oven (which we did -- there are also directions for grilling, but you'll need to buy the book to get those. preheat the oven to 350ºF. heat the 1 tbs olive oil in large, heavy skillet over medium high heat. sear beef roll on ALL SIDES (yes. do it. really.) 6 to 8 minutes total. if the pan is ovenproof -- you'll know this if the handle is metal not plastic. if the handle is plastic, then find another roasting pan in which to put your seared beef -- place it into the oven. roast fro 20-30 minutes, check the internal temp. remove the meat when it reaches 120º to 130ºF. cover loosely with foil, let the matambre rest for 10 to 20 minutes. serve with the sauce.
4. make the sauce:
in a food processor, process the almonds to a thick paste. add the bread crumbs, olive oil, roasted peppers, and optional red pepper flakes and process until smooth. taste for salt and pepper.

what we did:

everything was pretty much the same, except we used whole wheat bread crumbs and we used a 2-1/2 pound flank steak. we monitored the time REALLY carefully, because, as i said, my oven is wack. we ended up roasting this, so we seared it in a pan and put it in the oven.

the report card? this rocked the house. the boys couldn't get enough and nicholas ate it before the game that solidified them as the 6th grade 2nd place team for their division. they won 44 to 14. i think the flank steak roll did it, don't you? :o)

elegance is often fun, really. i've been cooking a long ass time and the most elegant are often the most servicable and full of flavor, if you follow your passion.

i followed my passion and my amazing sons came along for the ride.

that was well worth it all.

God Save the Scone

2007-10-27T18:28:00.000-05:00

remember how i said, in my opinion, there were three types of cookbooks? well, i was wrong about that as well as what i do believe. i forgot to mention the classics. those books that are tried, true and extraordinary simply because their name (and the legend that surrounds the quality of their recipes) sends "but of course!" sighs through anyone who hears their title. like Betty Crocker (as i mentioned, i have my mother's BETTY CROCKER cookbook from her 23rd birthday, 1958), L'Escofier (which is also a SERIOUS cookbook), THE SILVER SPOON (another serious cookbook that is also a classic), Larousse's French tomes (also serious cookbooks) and Fannie Farmer. I have each of these, in one form or another, and they have never let me down. i open them in silent wonder, caress them with respect and cook out of them, dropping sauce on their pages, oiling up the paper, marring it and seasoning it as you would pans. cook books are for cooking out of, not to sit on your shelf being gawked at and feared. and if you find a cookbook that is SOOOO intimidating, you can't even FATHOM cooking out of it, then put it aside, hold it at the top of your shelf and try something else until you can. really. that is the only reason people create cookbooks. for use. honest.

our recipe this day was out of Fannie Farmer. our Fannie Farmer cookbook is falling apart, held together by a rubberband, stained, overworked, immensely used and a good friend. very much like my mother's Betty Crocker cookbook. And many, MANY others. including Larousse. the recipe i made was CREAM SCONES and, yes, i made them for my buddies at work. very cool.

ingredients:
2 cups flour
2 tsps baking powder
1 tbs sugar
1/2 tsp salt
4 tbs butter
2 eggs, well-beaten
1/2 cup cream

what to do:
1. preheat the oven to 425ºF. lightly butter a cookie sheet. mix the flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt in a large bowl. work in the butter with your fingers or a pastry blender until the mixture resembles coarse meal. add the eggs and cream and stir until blended. turn out onto a lightly floured board and knead for about a minute. pat or roll the dough about 3/4-inch thick and cut into wedges. place on the cookie sheet and bake for about 15 minutes.

here's what we did:
we kept the ingredients the same, but we added about 1/2 cup of dried currants. we like currants much more than raisins for ANYTHING, even oatmeal, because they have a more complex flavor, a slight tartness that takes them past raisins, in our opinion. my sons feel the same. they're not big raisin guys. we added them in the kneading and as far as the kneading, here's something to remember when it comes to biscuits, scones and pie crust -- the less you knead and mix in liquid, the flakier and more tender it will be. truly. remember, baking is chemistry -- a meshing of ingredients in the CORRECT ORDER AS MENTIONED IN THE RECIPE that makes it work. kneading creates gluton, which is great when you're talking about bread -- it binds, holds things together and gives it a different sort of crumb, as they call it -- because, if you remember, bread makes crumbs, so CRUMB means texture -- than would be good for tender baked goods. scones are NOT pastry. they are not sweet. they are merely sweeter than biscuits, but, basically, they are another form of biscuits. and when you think about it, biscuits that are flakey and light and fragile are the ones that melt in your mouth and make you feel yummy.

i'll give you a GREAT example of chemistry in baking. my first big baking job was a celebrity wedding cake and 150 THREE TIERED INDIVIDUAL WEDDING CAKES for their wedding. the celebrity? who give s a crap? but i ended up in IN STYLE magazine and in the first IN STYLE MAGAZINE WEDDINGS show on ABC that year. or at least the cake did. ANYway, the actual cake was fake except for the bottom tier they would be cutting. the individual wedding cakes had fondant on them, were adorned with lavendar royal icing flowers that had platinum dragees as their centers and then sprayed with a light spray of platinum edible food coloring spray. ostentatious? absolutely. but, the celeb and spouse wanted it. that's a WHOLE other story.

okay, it's about 3:00ayem the morning of the wedding, my catering partner and i, along with her mom, brother and someone else (i want to say my ex-husband, because it sounds right) are working away in the kitchen. i hear these words come out of my partner's mouth whose job it was to make the fondant: "oops." now, bill cosby does a whole thing about the power of the word "oops." it's powerful. definitely. i turned and saw that my partner had put glycerine in at the wrong time, so the fondant didn't hold. fondant is that pure white stuff that is perfectly smooth that you will see on specialty cakes and on petits fours. petits fours have poured fondant, but it's the same principle. this was lemon fondant, rolled and laid upon the cakes as a smooth surface upon which to place the flowers. she had put the ingredients together in the wrong order and the powdered sugar, a main ingredient of fondant, and the glycerine, another main ingredient (along with gelatin) were put in incorrectly. our fondant, which was the basis of our cakes and we had about 50 more to cover, needed it desperately and i went on a mission. i needed to find the glycerin or, at the least, fondant.

at 3-4 in the morning, bakeries have begun baking. so, i started calling bakeries i knew were heavy on cake making and were known for their decor. i lived in los angeles at the time, so the bakeries i called were sweet lady jane's, known for its cakes, ma maison sofitel, which is a french hotel and has a strong baking staff (fondant is a notorious french ingredient) and hansen's cakes, a classic and legendary l.a. cake place i've gone to since childhood (little aside: one of its locations is in what used to be my preschool). ma maison sofitel told me their master baker hadn't shown yet. sweet lady jane's said they don't really deal in homemade fondant, so didn't have the ingredients (they're famous for their three berry cake luxuriously covered in a whip cream frosting, upon which i will not comment) and i actually went to hansen's at 4:30 in the morning, knocked on their service door and spoke to their lead baker. all i needed was glycerin for the fondant. when i told him i was in need of glycerin for fondant i was making from scratch, he hesitated then laughed, hysterically. he called back to the kitchen staff in spanish, who also laughed uproariously, then turned to me and said the words that made me commit to making fondant from scratch for the rest of my life, "honey, NO one makes fondant from scratch anymore."

none of the bakeries were helpful, but i waited until my baking shop opened and i bought glycerin and, considering i was pressed for MAJOR time, some pre-made fondant. but i've never done it again. i always make it from scratch.

and that is proof to how baking goods, adornments and such need to be followed to the tee. these scones are terrific and lovingly simple. we make them often, as we do other fannie farmer recipes.

the reason they work so well for us is simple. like she says in LIKE WATER FOR CHOCOLATE, the reason is "love." we put a lot of love in our food.

no matter what, messy house, crazy life, love gets us through.

i can live with that.

Middle Eastern Freak

2007-10-25T23:02:00.000-05:00

my kids and i like a lot of different foods from a lot of different countries. for me, i seek them out. for my kids, they have no idea, just that they like the food. greek food is big for us, indian food, asian (a si've said), italian and middle eastern. yum yum yum yummer. i have been known to build a whole meal around this turkish bread snack called lebneh which is a flat bread baked with ground lamb sprinkled on it as a seasoning. i like how middle eastern cooking is this amazing mesh of scents, flavors and experience. there's such a depth of history, a weight to it all -- so biblical in its essence (and i'm SOOOO NOT religious, believe me) that it seems to just jump off the page when i read about it. it's also the kind of food that is long simmering, slow roasted, infused with an extraordinary grandeur because of the simple steps it has inside to make the dining experience that much better. spiced olives, lovely relishes and flat breads all have the same priority and are treated with the same reverence as a main course. so, tonight, i made this one pot dish called WHEAT BERRIES WITH CHICKPEAS AND CHICKEN from FEAST OF THE MIDDLE EAST by Faye Levy.

ingredients:
2 tbs olive oil or veggie oil
2 lrg onions, coarsely chopped
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp ground cumin
1/4 tsp turmeric
1-1/2 to 2 pounds chicken thighs, with or without the skin
salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
1-1/2 cups wheat berries, rinsed
1 cup dried chickpeas (garbanzo beans), sorted and rinsed
1/2 tsp hot red pepper flakes, or to taste
7 to 8 cups water (more if necessary)
One 14-ounce can tomatoes, coarsely chopped

what to do:
1. heat oil in stew pan. add onions and saute over medium heat for 12 minutes, or until golden brown, stirring occasionally. add paprika, cumin and turmeric and stir briefly over low heat. add chicken to onions, sprinkle it lightly with salt and pepper, and turn it over to lightly coat it with spice on both sides.
2. add wheat berries, chickpeas, pepper flakes, and 7 to 8 cups water, or enough to generously cover ingredients. bring to a boil. cover and cook over very low heat for 45 to 60 minutes, or until chicken is tender. remove chicken. add tomatoes to casserole. cover pan and continue cooking, adding hot water 1/2 cup at a time, if necessary, for 30 to 60 minutes, or until wheat berries and chickpeas are tender. skim excess fat from sauce.
3. if casserole is too soupy, remove wheat berries and chickpeas with slotted spoon and boil sauce until it thickens. remove chicken from bones, cut it in strips, and return it to pan. taste and adjust seasoning. serve hot.

here's what we did:
our chicken was skinless and boneless and i used fresh tomatoes instead of canned. i also used only one onion, because my older son is not a fan of onions and it still gave the stew a great flavor. but otherwise we kept it pretty faithful and stewed away.

report card states, per my sons and some others, that this is yum. severely yum. it's hearty, warming and just wonderful. that evening, i took it to my book club with some warm pita wedges and it worked GREAT as a dip. a little chevre, creamy goat cheese, sprinkled on top.

this was a great meal. really great. it's getting cold and it was exactly what worked for an evening of chill. this is one of the many dishes we've been able to play with in our middle eastern cooking vibe. we've got our share of cookbooks from the region and our share of love for the food. we did pretty good with this or well or... hell, whatever.

we made a good meal. oh, and here's the cool thing of it all. brandon decided he wanted to make his own sauce to go on his portion and he cut about 1 tbs of white onion, about 1 tbs of sweet red pepper, about 4 leaves of basil, a dash or so of hot sauce, a 1 inch piece of peeled ginger. he mashed it in our mortar and pestle, really pressed it and i left for book club figuring he was going to use it. when i got back, he hadn't put it on his stew, feeling it wasn't going to be any good. i tasted it and it was AMAZING. just the right about of heat, just the right amount of sweet from the bell pepper and a great taste. he hadn't even tasted it. he took one taste and his eyes widened in delight. HE had done this. him alone just on passion and instinct. we agreed a little pinch of salt might be okay, so he did that and it was wonderful. i was so proud of him. both of my kids just go for it, paint with their cooking, so that their personalities shine through.

it was lovely. really lovely.

Harajuku Girl in Training

2007-10-24T01:25:00.000-05:00

i was born in the wrong country. i should have been born in japan. i could eat from bento boxes and sushi for the rest of my life and never feel like i was missing something. yum. tonight was kind of crazy, because nicholas had a football game ON A TUESDAY NIGHT AT 8 O'CLOCK P.M. yes, i could have said no, but did i? no. why? because i don't want my kid to think i'm a total jerk. and brandon had football practice that would make the overlap of times REALLY intense. so, i needed to make something yummy and fast. something we would be able take with us. i settled on something excellent and quick... ish... i was SO excited. although i had no idea how my kids would feel about it, but hoped they would like it. kinda had a feeling they would based upon what i know about them.

i have a book i look at, read from and sigh over all the time. it's a serious cookbook. let me explain. i believe there are three categories of cookbooks. you will notice i said "i believe." this is completely my own opinion and since this is my blog, that should be okay (uh, oh... i shoulded... HA!). they fall, in my opinion, into these: pretty and quick with entertainment more than substance; good, servicable and faboo in an accessible way: and seriously serious about culinary craft. l'escofier falls into that, this amazing cookbook put together by vincent price (THE vincent price of pit and pendulum fame) and his wife based upon their travels is like that (it's leather bound, folkses), THE SILVER SPOON (an italian tome of perfection my friend, caryl, got for me and i don't know whether giving her my first born child is enough of a thanks for that or not); and many more i have. this cookbook is all inclusive and completely about the country while dealing with the craft of culinary with a deft and, almost, romantic hand. it's lyrical, like the country from whence it came. one to which i've been able to travel a time or two in my day, almost moved to. it is called JAPANESE COOKING: A SIMPLE ART BY shizuo tsuji. i know i've told you about this thing i do when it comes to asian cooking, which is not to deviate from the recipe, because i respect it too much. here's the recipe i picked CHICKEN-'n-EGG ON RICE or OYAKO DONBURI, a classic, and just see what happens:

ingredients:
6-8 cups hot, cooked rice
4-5 eggs
1/4 pound chicken
2 long onions or 4 green onions

sauce:
2 1/2 cups dashi or chix broth
6 tbsp dark soy sauce
3 tbs light soy sauce
3 tbs sugar

what to do:
Prep: (okay, i'm jazzed about this shit. the prep then the cook then SERVE segments. i like them telling me what to do to be ready to complete my dish and how to make it all fabulous for the eye, tastebud, and beyond. i'll explain why in a sec... really)
1. boil plain white rice (we'll get to that in a minute)
2. mix (do not beat) eggs in a bowl lightly with chopsticks or fork and set aside
3. cut boned chix (w/or w/out skin, whichever you like) into 1/4 inch pcs.
4. wash and clean onions. cut diagonally into 1-inch pcs.
cook:
1. put sauce ingredients into mid-sized pan, bring to a gentle boil over medium heat, add chix, simmer, uncovered, for 3 minutes. add onion, simmer 1 minute more and season as necessary.
2. pour the stirred eggs gently, in a stream aound the chix in the simmering sauce. let the egg spread and do not stir it. keep heat at medium high 'til the gg bubbls at edges. then, stir once and the eggs will ALMOST be set, but still a little runny. don't freak. the hot rice will finish the cooking.
to assemble:
1. put about 1-1/2 -2 cups of the hot rice in each bowl -- use deep soup bowls if you don't have an actual donburi bowl which, hello? EVERYbody has. yeah. sure. of course. with a large spoon, spoon the egg, chix and sauce mix over the rice. the sauce will seep down into the rice, but not make it soupy. serve immediately. or, as they say, "with hot green tea. goes well with a clear soup."

here's what we did:

all of it, from the cleaning, making and holding of the rice to the ladling of the dish onto the rice. i had an american diner moment when i decided i would add 1 POUND of chicken instead of the 1/4 pound and when i started chopping, i stopped and looked at what i was making. i LOVE donburi. i mean, adore it. there's a place in l.a. (well, many places) that serves it and it's so amazingly nummy. but i didn't add 1 pound. i added the 1/4 pound and some bean sprouts and this was incredible. i had to pack it up and take it with us to the football game, which was fine. truly good. enough for nicholas to get my promise he would be able to have it to take to lunch. that's a good sign.

here's the deal with all asian food: it is only labor intensive because of the prep work of chopping, marinating and on that goes on with asian food. me, i like that time to touch my food, chop and work with it in the way that will be best for the dish. but, yes, i won't lie. the chopping, especially for someone who only uses the kitchen knife for the most rudimentary purposes or not at all. but there is a seriousness to the knife skill and the whole preparation of the meal. they take their rice very seriously and i do as well. DO NOT use parboiled rice for this or anything, really. and ALWAYS WASH YOUR RICE BEFORE COOKING. let me say that again. ALWAYS WASH YOUR RICE BEFORE COOKING. it gets rid of the starchier elements of rice to make it a cleaner element in the food chain.

i hope you get a chance to see this cookbook and cook from it. lovely, beautiful, and something to which i attain, i encourage you grabbing it and going for it within. yes, really.

The Young Man, the sea and we

2007-10-24T00:03:00.001-05:00

let me share a little of my fish history with you -- i grew up eating canned salmon croquettes, canned salmon and eggs, fried fish with tabasco and lemon juice (which, quite frankly, is yummy) and, when my mom was on weight watchers, turbot. oh, and salmon steaks and filet of sole... sometimes. but, for the most part, our fish was canned, fried or fried canned fish that was breaded. i also ate tuna salad sandwiches made with miracle whip and sweet pickle relish.

i don't eat that anymore.

i LOVE fish. i mean, i adore it. i remember the first time i had sushi and it changed my life. it was with my brother's then girlfriend, patty, for whom i will always have a soft spot for a MYRIAD of reasons, not the least of which is introducing me to sushi, and besides the spanish mackeral, which SO didn't work for me (too oily raw), and the California Roll (too much taking away from the crab -- i love crab, so, yeah), i was all about it. i had learned before then the way i liked my tuna sandwiches -- if american, then just a smattering of real mayo, some diced celery, salt, pepper and, sometimes, garlic powder; if greek or italian, some excellent tuna packed in good olive oil, tossed with lemon, fresh parsley, salt, fresh ground pepper and on a crusty roll or the end of a great loaf of italian bread (this i learned when i was 11, but that's SO another story) and the way i liked my fish in general -- i hated salmon for a REALLY long time because of the ick canned aspect, but now revere it and bow to it daily -- i like my fish grilled, broiled, steamed whatever as long as it's treated with love and affection so the flavor of the fish rings through, not the flavor of the shtuff that goes on it. i'm also a MAJOR seafood/shellfish afficianado -- give me some good mussels, an excellently fragrant white wine, cream and herb infusion in which to steam it and i'm WAY in heaven -- and, as a consequence, my older son has a deep love of seafood/shellfish (except for live lobster, cuz he's a little skeeved out by the MONSTERS, as he calls them) because he's a rich food lover, which seafood/shellfish is. my younger son is all about any fish that is grilled, steamed -- just fin fish, as it were. seafood, not so much. and yet, he created this AWESOME seafood stew that is unbelievable, as i mentioned before. we'll go there someday.

anway, fish. here's why i'm mentioning. our meal on monday night came from a cookbook that JUST came my way called THE YOUNG MAN & THE SEA by David Pasternack and Ed Levine. When i got it, i was so excited, because of, obviously, fish. i haven't had a chance to hang with it much, so i picked a recipe that would allow me to incorporate the crab i had leftover from my sunday night pie success -- major successs. i had to promise the chilly-bees they would get it again this weekend (my children... yes, i use bizarre words... what of it?) what i ended up with is NOWHERE NEAR what would have happened if i had bought the one ingredient in the recipe i chose i did not have, but i was pressed for time and what can i say? the recipe we picked was:

SPAGHETTI ALA CHITARRA WITH SEA URCHINS & CRABMEAT
yes, sea urchins. just listen.

ingredients:
1 lb dried spaghetti or chitarri
1/4 cup plus 1 tbs extra-virgin olive oil
8 tbs (1 stick) unsalted butter
8 oz sea urchins (2 trays of cleaned sea urchins)
8 oz jumpo lump crabmeat
1/2 tsp sea salt, plus more to finish
freshly ground pepper

what to do:
1. bring large pot of salted water to boil. cook pasta for 2 minutes LESS than package says. reserve 2 cups cooking water, and drain the pasta in a colander. Toss with 3 tbs of olive oil. set aside.
2. transfer pasta water to a large, straight-sided saute pan. add butter and bring o a boil over high flame. reduce the liquite by one quarter, about 3 minutes.
3. add the pasta and toss to coat. use wooden spoon to push the pasta to one side of the pan, add sea urchins to the other side. use the spoon to break up the flesh. add the crabmeat, the remaining tablespoon olive oil, the 1/2 tsp sea salt and several grindings of the pepper. gently toss to combine.
4. divide the pasta among four bowls and season each serving with the sea salt and fresh ground pepper. serve immediately.

here's what we did:
i did not have sea urchin. i didn't know where to get it and didn't have the time. i used our leftover tilapia, poached it in some white wine, a little water, basil leaves, parsley, sea salt and red pepper flakes. poached it for about 10 minutes, flaked it and set it aside. i then finished the rest of it off as the recipe says, but added the tilapia instead of the sea urchin and tossed it with some parmegiano reggiano.

our report card was success. both kids loved it, i served it with a light salad and all was well. i'd like to try it with the sea urchin and i'll tell you why -- i've never had sea urchin. oh, i've had raw jellyfish and some other BIZARRE stuff, but i never had sea urchin at sushi places or anywhere. the look completely makes me go "eeyoo", but i still want to try it, because i want to be open to any food adventure. i don't remember if patty ever ordered it that first sushi night, but my sister has on occasion -- i don't know if she still does -- and it's always made me go "hmm..." and also look at her with a kind of awe that little sister's owe big sisters, i think. my current sushi partner is my sister-in-law whenever i'm in l.a., who is the BEST sushi partner ever. really. but, then again, i adore her regardless, so there. lots of love in the air. ahhh...

okay, so here is how the young man & the sea describes sea urchin, in case you were creeped about trying it, too: "sea urchin... can be scary to the uninitiated. they have a lovely creamy flavor... the sea urcihns intensely flavorful, salty creaminess make it a perfect foil for pasta in this recipe..." so, i will try this again with the sea urchins. just gotta.

creamy saltiness? i dunno.
it's calling my name :o)
amazing to have this love of fish and seafood considering my humble beginnings.
there is hope for all.